President Obama Validates My Life's Work

So yesterday was a pretty big day for me.  First of all, has anyone seen anyone this good-looking in real life before?

Those three guys are okay too.

Anyway, it was kind of funny to see these famosos because it happened immediately following a major career high.


If you want to know why yesterday was so awesome, like tearfully awesome, you need to watch this video starting at 9:40.  And then imagine you are in a room full of people who you have worked with anywhere from the last year to the last decade.  People who helped you learn about the most amazing possibilities and who believed that a single small school in Northern California could be a model for the rest of the country.  Places like Manor, Texas:





It might just be me, but didn't that sound really compelling? And you know what? What he says here? This is really happening--not just here, but in schools across the country. And don't you want your kid in one of these schools? I sure do. So to all my @newtechnetwork friends, thank you for all the work you personally have done that led to this moment for us as a national movement. For my friends who have supported me while I travel so much, I hope this clarifies the urgency that pulls me periodically away from my family.  The more we can create this kind of community, the more hope I personally have for the future of all of our communities and preparing our kids for the world that will await them.

Even if you didn't vote for Obama, pretty cool, eh?

To My Body, With Gratitude

My dearest round little body,

You are my greatest friend and ally.

My feet who continue to support my increasing berth.

My legs who continue to push me when sleeping has been fitful, on a redeye flight, or interrupted by bloodcurdling screams from the hotel room next door.

My hands that type endlessly, drive rental cars at midnight, gesture with clarity to let people know where they stand with me and then still have the energy to sign my name over, and over, and over again.

My eyes that continue to see far, that without support of any kind, allow me to see the majestic mountains in the morning, the 10,000 foot view of farm fields from an airplane, my beautiful children's faces, and wondrous sunsets.

My stomach, that goes hours without any fuel and then fills up too quickly with ill-timed meals that are not quite right.

My mind that energizes me with funny things to think, surgically takes apart all conversation around me and then processes my thoughts in such familiar ways.

My mouth that generates words that execute all that I want to say and in exactly the way that will reflect who I am perfectly.

My heart that beats with steady perfection and continues to fill me with a feeling of warmth and love for   the people of my world.

I am sorry that I let you fall in that parking lot, that in my distracted and tired state of mind, I allowed you to slam to the ground in such an ungraceful way and leave an asphalt mark in too many little places.  I am sorry for the high heels, I am sorry for the cell phone in my face, and I am most of all sorry that I gave you no attention in any way over the last week.  I know, I owe you.

But you have beautifully managed a recovery and reminded me that with you I am nothing. Please, let me have just a few more decades with you and let me remember to treat you with more kindness and caring because in spite of all of the other relationships I have in this world, you are truly the one who has been the most there for me.

Fairness and Equity (or, Teachable Moments Gone Bad)

Last night I made the mistake of trying to teach my children about equity and justice by taking advantage of a "teachable moment" when my eldest daughter's civil disobedience took the form of dereliction of duty on her chores.

Bridget didn't understand why she had to do her chore three times (dishes) and her brother only did his twice (cleaning off the counter tops).

The following conversation ensued:

Mom: Look, it is spring break, you are generating more dishes so when it is your day to do that job, you will do it more frequently.  So will the person who is on garbage, that is just the way it works.  I believe in equity, not fairness.

Bridget:  What is the difference?

Mom:  Equity means that every person has an equal shot at society (this is where I start to degenerate and change the point of my argument with her).  Say a family has their house burn down, the parents both lose their jobs, and the kids don't have anything to eat.  Then another family, with parents who have a good job and a big house, they are eating a frosty for dessert (gesturing to our own frosty desserts on the table).  They both go to the food bank, who should get the dinner?

Bridget:  They both should get the same amount (said with sarcasm).

Mom: You are a jerk.  I am not raising kids who believe that.

Casey:  That is a bad example.

Bridget:  Why would the rich family be at the food bank?

Casey: Duh, because they are giving the food bank food

Steve:  Wait, what if they are at the food bank because they feel entitled and just want more food?

Bridget: No, let me give you an example, there is a short guy, a medium guy, and a tall guy.  There are all these crates and they are trying to watch a game.  They each get a crate.  And then someone comes along and says "Hey, those guys didn't even buy tickets to watch the game, why are they getting to watch it for free?"

Needless to say, I did the dishes myself (though I did guilt trip her the entire time, resulting in a clean living room.)

Hey Lee, Do you have an opinion on the Common Core?

Do I have an opinion?  Hahahahaha!

I have heard this enough times now to warrant a blog post.

So let's discuss the Common Core, shall we?

I think we need to separate this argument into two pieces:

1) The content of the standards

2) The nature of national standards

They must be separated as I believe that the second issue is coloring the first issue for most people.

They are both important.

Part Uno: Content

Lee's Summary: Content is solid and worthy of making the effort.

There is a great article in the Chronicle of Higher Ed about the impact of a test score driven school structure, maybe take a peek at that first.  The comments also offer a good balanced perspective about the overall "dumbing down" of school curriculum, grade inflation, etc., which might have started before NCLB too.  Regardless, there is general consensus that today's students struggle to think creatively, to identify problems, to come up with solutions to problems.  The Common Core was designed to help push for more critical thinking and reduce the focus on what I refer to as "listy" standards.

If you pull up the Common Core Standards and compare them with most states, they are definitely different, especially at the secondary level.  You may want to do that yourself so you can form your own opinion, here are two samples from my beloved state of California:


Previous English Language Arts, 9-10 grade:
Vocabulary and Concept Development 
1.1 Identify and use the literal and figurative meanings of words and understand word 
derivations. 
1.2. Distinguish between the denotative and connotative meanings of words and interpret 
the connotative power of words. 
1.3 Identify Greek, Roman, and Norse mythology and use the knowledge to understand 
the origin and meaning of new words (e.g., the word narcissistic drawn from the myth 
of Narcissus and Echo). 

Common Core, 9-10 grade
Writing Standards
d. . Use precise language and domain-specific vocabulary to manage the 
complexity of the topic.
e. Establish and maintain a formal style and objective tone while attending to 
the norms and conventions of the discipline in which they are writing.
f. Provide a concluding statement or section that follows from and supports 
the information or explanation presented (e.g., articulating implications or 
the significance of the topic).


See the difference?  This is one sample, I tried to find a parallel for you where they seemed close enough to show the difference between a checklist of facts and a more general ability to write.  Same for math:

Previous Algebra

4.0 Students simplify expressions before solving linear equations and inequalities 
in one variable, such as 3(2x-5) + 4(x-2) = 12. 

5.0 Students solve multistep problems, including word problems, involving linear 
equations and linear inequalities in one variable and provide justification for 
each step

Common Core, Algebra

a. Give examples of linear equations in one variable with one
solution, infinitely many solutions, or no solutions. Show which
of these possibilities is the case by successively transforming the
given equation into simpler forms, until an equivalent equation of
the form x = a, a = a, or a = b results (where a and b are different
numbers).
b. Solve linear equations with rational number coefficients, including
equations whose solutions require expanding expressions using
the distributive property and collecting like terms.


So do I like the Common Core standards?  Yes.  Some criticisms I have read or heard don't seem consistent with the practice I have seen on the ground with teachers.  The most common complaint seems to be about the English standards:  "They have completely taken fiction out of the curriculum!  It is all about informational text!"

I find that to be unfounded.  Many teachers in our network have been working with the standards for the last couple of years and they use literature.  The teachers who I think are most student-centered usually end up reading more modern literature as opposed to "the canon" anyway.

Math teachers, well, that is a war zone at any given time.  I would argue that there have already been a set of national math standards that some teachers have leaned on from the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics (NCTM).   The debate has gone on for decades about the best way to teach and what to teach in a math classroom, I know people on both sides and I come down clearly on the side of a constructivist approach, that will be no surprise to you.

I have also heard a lot complains about "liberal stuff" in the curriculum which I also find to be unfounded.  There are plenty of conservative school states across the country who would never stand for that, and the teachers still ultimately control the content.  Textbook companies might be aligning their materials to be more culturally sensitive (which yes, might include history of some gay men and women and acknowledgement of other disenfranchised populations) but the standards themselves do not drive a particular agenda.  People who feel like it does are usually invoking support materials, not the standards themselves.

Part Deux: The Nature of National Standards

I "grew up" in the standards movement in education and was indoctrinated that standards matter for kids.  The reasons are virtuous and lengthy:

1) It is an attempt at a guarantee that every child gets the bare minimum.
2) It is a way to help with transient families so if you move from one city to another you don't lose too much momentum.
3) It provides helpful constraints to a teacher so that you can be creative but not completely outside the realm of the content.
4) Standards help make supplemental materials efficient and allow teachers to share high quality materials with each other.
5) E.D. Hirsch has a bit on cultural literacy that is compelling as an argument for standards, that often when children don't succeed, it is because they don't know certain things that everyone should know.  Standards allow for that.

The Common Core would further enhance that with the following advantages:

1) States can now pull resources to develop tests instead of spending so much money in every state on a test.  It is expensive and hard to do well, why not pull together the best from multiple states and come up with some good assessment practices.
2) If you move state lines, you can be fairly close to where you were
3) We can now start to compare state system to state system and learn from one another best practices
4) Textbook companies will have a much greater depth of resources instead of having 50 state versions of the curriculum
5) As Americans, there aren't things we all need to know, but there are certain things we all should be able to do.

But I have my Ron Swanson days too.

On my Ron Swanson days, I feel adamantly opposed to following a curriculum that every other state is covering.  I admire what Texas has done, make sure your standards include good college and career readiness standards like the Common Core, but then make a big public show of saying NO to something national in nature.  On my Ron Swanson days, I don't want a local community to even have to follow standards, and love Alfie Kohn's take on it:

If you teach English-language learners or kids with special needs, or if you're concerned about social studies, science, or the arts, you're tempted to say, "Test us, too, so we won't be neglected!" But it's like a dysfunctional family, where the main alternative to neglect is abuse. To impose overly specific, prescriptive standards -- enforced with standardized tests -- is to lower the quality of any field or the education of any population of students.

There is something important to me about each state saying "THIS is what matters California" or "These skills help you most in Utah" or "This is how we roll in Jersey."

On those days, I want to eliminate not only the federal department of education, but the state departments of education too, and just let every little local town come together and determine, like in the good old days of exploitation of cheap female teachers who couldn't get any other job, what they want and how to best teach their children.

But my Ron Swanson days are tempered by my more pragmatic days in which I feel like the system is not ready to let go of control yet.  We still aren't sure as educators, that when no one is looking, all school leaders and teachers actually believe that low socio-economic children can learn these same complex standards.  We wonder, and have some background to support the fact that zipcodes still determine systemic expectations: race, color, language, and parent income are all factors in inadvertent systemic structural injustices and we somehow feel that if we at least set high standards, it will make lowering them more noticeable.

If I were in charge of the world, I probably would eliminate standards.  But since I am not, I vote with the ayes on the Common Core.  If we are going to have them at all, they should probably be good ones.

Ode to My Students

I have been touched by your kids... and I'm pretty sure that I've touched them.
-Dewey Finn, School of Rock

You know how you read online these warm and touching stories about teachers?  Well, I have never google searched it, but I don't often read heart-warming stories about how students have impacted the life of a teacher even though I believe it happens just as often, if not more.

I have blogged about what I learned from some of my students before (my journey learning about race) and you often hear about how a student, particularly a struggling student shames a teacher into repentance. Has anyone read the story that circulates about Teddy and how he gave his teacher some perfume that she thought was trashy until she found out his mother died?  I hate that story and I think most educators should if they think it is okay to take delight in failing students until you find out they have a deceased parent, are you serious people?

Well I am here to confess that I didn't go into teaching to inspire people, I went into teaching because I was moved by the young people I taught myself.

In another blog post (Paragraph 6) I wrote about my beginning teaching experience in LA Unified.  I often describe that time as like one of those movies (Dangerous Minds or Lean on Me) but without the inspiring teacher part.

I could write a novel on students that I taught in Delhi and how much I loved them as individuals and that I still remember my first experience when someone cheated on a test and I was shocked into reality that it wasn't a violation of the ed code.  Or how a student told me that he already made more money than me as a 15-year old drug dealer.  Or showing up at the house of three punk kids I loved because they stayed home from my boring summer school class in favor of playing video games.  Or how I became so close with some of the students there that it nearly broke my heart to leave the school when we moved.

But today I want to write about Stacee.  See that picture at the top?  The centerpiece to that picture with the white shirt and long hair? Stacee died this last weekend.  It was a jolt to me, to lose a young person--as a teacher, you are supposed to die before your students, all of them.  I sometimes live in fear--when I get a request on facebook from a name that is only vaguely familiar, am I forgetting my students?  Is this person someone who I really should know by name and face?  Will I forget the things that they taught me and the things that they said, and lose a piece of myself?

But when Stacee died, a sudden burst of memories came to me, a reminder of what a beautiful young lady she was, the times she made fun of me or her peers, the times she stunned me with her raw artistic talent, the times she scared me with how deeply she felt things.  I remembered my mistakes, I remembered her mistakes, and surprisingly, I remembered with perfect clarity being inspired by her on the first day of orientation:

We were standing in a group in the front of the room, a group of excited teachers introducing ourselves for the first time to parents and students in a pioneering school.  When the teachers came to stand up front, there was an audible murmuring about how young these teachers were.  And we were!  Tim, Kristen, Kris, Senna, Robin, Matt, Andy... we were all in the first 3 years of teaching, on the mature end of that spectrum.  Lorna had a few years on us and then Proctor--we don't count him though (sorry, once you get busted for drug dealing to students you are out of the picture, yo).  And while I had taught for a few years, I was still young.  And as we were introduced and I looked out on this sea of parents, a little shy that we didn't know what the ayche we were doing, I saw Stacee and Nicole, these two cute girls who I had met before the presentation, and I knew that we were going to be awesome.  I knew that these kids, especially the 10th graders, had left a secure and safe place in their previous school and pioneer or not, we had an obligation to do something for them.  It wasn't a teacher who inspired me in that moment, it was students, who gave me the inner strength to do the hard work.

I don't know why this stands out to me--but it is false to say that teaching is a thankless job.  It is fake to say that no one appreciates teachers.  That is bullcrap or no one would do it. It is the most appreciated job on the planet.  Every day I knew where I stood with my students, if they liked what I taught, if they learned in my classroom.  I knew if I had completely bored them to death, if I had not provided a safe enough environment, if I had wasted their time, or if they genuinely loved what they had done in my classroom.  I received gifts every holiday (once a group of students planned a surprise party for me during a particular class period), I received notes of appreciation, and was the recipient of random acts of kindness.  Most of all I was inspired.

By students who already knew everything but refused to be lazy, kids who had a killer work ethic.

By kids who had a better sense of humor, a stronger moral compass, a more righteous sense of justice.

By kids who didn't understand what they were saying but fought about it anyway.

By kids who didn't undersand what I was saying but fought about it anyway.

By kids who saw right through everything and realized that the system was not going to be on their side but gave it a go anyway.

By students, like Stacee, who had more talent by age 16 than most people will experience in a lifetime.

I am saddened by her departure, devastated on behalf of her family, but grateful too, that I knew someone like her.

That she reminds me that so much of the inspiration that happens in the classroom is generated not from the teachers, but the students themselves.

What is Important

Sometimes when I tell people about my travels, I get a response like this "Wow that must be nice."

When I get an upgrade, when I am stuck in a town due to weather delays or cancelled flights and I stay in an upgraded suite, dine on room service or Häagen Dazs ice cream, when the car rental company gives me the newest model of a black sleek car, and when I get to skip security it does feel like I get my own little mini-vacation.  I can't pretend like being alone in a hotel room with room service is "stressful" or "sensory overload" like my house often is on a regular basis.

And yesterday at church, someone posed the question: "What is your holy place?"  and I had to admit to myself that unlike some other women whose response is "the bathroom",  I actually have a quiet and peaceful place where I spend time on a regular basis.  That is since my "no TV" policy I established a few years ago (due to excessive Seinfelding at 11 every night).

But when I sit down to look at my travel schedule and find that I am going to be away from my family for at least some portion of the week for weeks on end, I wonder if it really is nice.

My children are growing up.  My two oldest are in fact away from home already much more than I anticipated, spending time with friends, or extra-curriculars and as they grow up, I miss them tremendously.  And I wonder what long-term effect my travels will have on my children.

Will they report to their therapist that their mother was always gone and neglected them or will their sense of independence and ability to make choices be greater and healthier psychologically?

Will I look back on my life and wonder if my sense of purpose was skewed in wanting to serve so many children over serving my own brood on a regular basis or will I feel a sense of satisfaction at having done both?

Will my husband look back on our marriage as a one-sided effort or will he feel closer to me because we made a great effort to spend time together precisely because of my schedule?

If I were working for a standard for-profit industry, I feel that the moral dilemma I face would not be so complicated.  Though I doubt I would be able to recognize it, I feel that in my heart I would know that my time of jet-setting was to come to an end once my husband had a job and we had another income.

But now, I can't imagine giving up the work I am engaging in nationally and by the way being paid for it any more than I can imagine not being a mother.  It is who I have become and who I want to be--so the question becomes even more complicated.  Were I not working for pay, I would still spend hundreds of hours a month in schools, school board meetings, or some other nefarious volunteerism.

As I recently said to a co-worker, we are all busy doing a certain number of things.  Some of us do more things and do them less effectively--I am one of these individuals.  No matter what anyone says, I am certain that my effort to raise my children is less efficacious than a woman who is at home with her children full-time.  I am positive that my home would be cleaner, my medical bills more organized, my budget in better shape and my church service would be greater.  I know I would be a better intern and grad student if I weren't doing 10 other things, a more committed friend and a less needy wife--but these are not the choices I have made.

What I still can't decide is whether more is less, or, as my mind and body insist, more is more.

Hampton Inn, I will see you this evening O my Holy Place.

Early Adopter

I bought myself a lovely new dishset from IKEA this weekend and I am thrilled to pieces about it.

Steve thinks it was a waste.

Anyway, I was trying to show it to someone today, and to my chagrin could not find it on their website.

But THEN I found a picture of it here:

And to my DELIGHT I discovered that they are new, as in 2013.  And I, a woman of no home and no decor of my own, have become an early adopter of IKEA dishware.

I just wanted to share.  Come over for dinner some time and try out my new dishes.