A Special Kind of Chaos

Authentic Dining Experiences

2012-01-27T12:50:00.000-08:00

In my opinion, there are two kinds of people in this world: those who will pay for a $100 dinner, and those who will not.

You know which group you fit with--I am not talking about variables like "well, if I had a spare $100 floating around on the ground" or "if someone else paid for it" I am talking about the general concept of your willingness to spend money on your meal.

If you don't know which group to which I belong, you do not know me as well as you thought.

*This week I was in New York and ate dinner at Da Umberto in Manhattan. For those who have not eaten at a really high quality restaurant, there is no point in even trying to imagine it. What was wonderful about this particular place was not just the food, which I will get into in a minute, but the ambiance.

I am pretty certain that 100% of the wait staff were genuine Italians. The accents were thick, sing-songy, and the rolling of the Rs was like watching a broadway theater production. I was riveted by the pronunciation of every last offering from the "For the ah especial this evening, we have the ah... rrrrrisoootto with the ah, butternaut esquash" to the "oh maybe you like a combo of the feeg and estrawberry gelaaaato?" to the "no, it no have the pancetta, it have the prosciutto." Some people do not want a belabored dissertation for dinner but as for me and mine? When it has the accent and beautiful descriptions, it is an audible treat.

It doesn't hurt that in general, the swarthy Italian waiters look you straight in the eye as they are pouring more water.

We had some of everything and perhaps part of the reason why these meals are so much money is that the waiters make the food sound so tempting that you won't say no to tacking on something here and there. Something like, ah, thees?

My favorite was the sun-dried tomato ravioli with the goat cheese and some herb or other but it was almost a tie with the fried baby artichokes and the pancetta-wrapped chicken breast with pecorino cheese. Our table held a collective moment of silence in honor of the great flavor. And of course a chocolate mousse for dessert.

It was a tremendous memory and much more valuable to me than any concert or play. Because for me, my deepest connections are with the food I eat and the people I am with. As my mother aptly noted, "Lee Ann, I eat to live while you live to eat."

Amen, mamma mia.

*Disclaimer: My work pays for my meals when I travel but if we go over a reasonable amount which is very rare, we pitch in our own money and in the story above and others like it, my colleagues and I put up our own money to make up the difference so that we are not using sacred education dollars for my personal indulgences.

Aspirations

2012-01-12T06:09:00.000-08:00

As you may know, I am undereducated for the company I keep and the work that I do. I have a BA and I had a teaching license for the state of California that expired when we moved from Sacramento to Santa Barbara. I let it expire for a handful of reasons, the top reason being that my job transition went something like this:

July of 2007

Plan pioneering graduation ceremony, scholarship and senior awards ceremony for first seniors of school
Hold graduation ceremony on Friday
Take group of students to Europe, leave on Sunday
Return from trip on Tuesday of following week
Start new job Wednesday (the next day) in Napa for a week
Pack up and clean our house to ready it for sale (ha!)
Move to Santa Barbara

In there somewhere was me needing to get my license cleared and renewed. It would have been a good idea but starting a new job, moving out of the area, trying to sell our house, and having Steve start grad school all made the license bit seem unimportant. And UNpossible.

Now after 5 years of national reform work, I look around and see that no only do I NOT have a teaching license, but most everyone I work with has an administrative license and Master's Degree.

It is time for me to go back to school. So I met with a woman at the Educational Leadership program at BYU and I got really excited about applying to their program for a Master's Degree in education. Yay!

It is also preparation for administrative license (Steve has proclaimed that me as a principal is "pretty much his biggest nightmare" so that part is less appealing to some members of the family) which will make me (pending getting in and being able to complete the program) eligible for the administrative job market right around the time Steve goes on the job market.

To be honest I have the perfect job. I love the work I do, I have tremendous co-workers, and there is something invigorating and stirring about the national landscape in education that makes working in one school seem unappealing. But the travel is hard as my children get older, so perhaps one day I can find a way to do both the local work and stay connected to national work, who knows?

For now, I am simply working to get accepted into this program and I have a couple of black holes in my application that is stressing me out:

1) I can't get the state of Utah to recognize my teaching background. They said that five years in California is all fine and dandy but I have to prove I can teach here by getting a license here and teaching for a year. I can imagine quitting work and moving to take on a leadership position in a community school or district, but taking Utah beginning teacher's salary? I can't even fathom what that would be like. So while I can still apply to the program at BYU, it makes me a less appealing candidate.

2) I bombed the math portion of the GRE. I will admit I did not study aggressively given that I decided to take the test in December and had three weeks of prep time, including the 2 weeks my children were on break. So focusing several minutes of my time on questions like "If B is the midsection between A and C, is AC and x>0, which of the following quantities is larger: x or ACDC?" was more than my poor pea brain could handle. I scored somewhere around the 30th percentile, yikes!! That means 70% of the people who take that test outscore me. Steve pointed out that I did help another person in there by bumping up their score by a small portion so that gives me some comfort at least. I did get the 84% for verbal so I am hoping that they still let me in the program given that my ability to solve for x is pretty pathetic.

The deadline for application is February 15th, the day after I turn 37. I hope that I don't get rejected too quickly so I can enjoy my late 30s as much as possible. I have everything completed now other than a letter explaining why I don't have a license.

Wish me luck!

The Box of My Life

2012-01-04T14:58:00.000-08:00

Today I saw something that exemplified the daily grind, the things that make parenting difficult for me. I think it is self-explanatory but feel free to leave questions or interpretations.

Local Entertainment (updated to embed video)

2011-12-15T22:20:00.000-08:00

Oh Utah, the Honeymoon is Over

2011-12-13T08:37:00.000-08:00

Stats for this week:

Number of attempted new friendships: 5

Number of rejections to invitations: 5

Number of activities attended alone: 2

Number of days it was too cold to go outside: all of them

Terrific.

Why I Blog

2011-12-06T22:04:00.000-08:00

As world 2.0 evolves and we head into what we may perhaps label 3.0 social interaction online, I had a unique opportunity to appreciate what blogging has done for me.

I have been blogging now for close to 8 years (remember the xanga days?) and I maintained this blog pretty faithfully for the last 5. My blog has meant many things to me starting with a place for private social interaction among other cynics who were there to essentially mock one another and any newcomers too, to its most recent public iteration with caution regarding anything potentially mean-spirited. It has meant a place to learn about my friends, to cohabitate online with people who I wish I lived near in real life. It has served as a reunion to help me connect with those who I used to know and wish to know again and sometimes a place to meet new interesting people to fill in the crevices of my friendships with interesting and diverse mortar.

But as 3.0 existence may push out my own blog in favor of those that are specialized and provide valuable resources to like-minded people, I discover that the real value of my blog lay in secret, a latent purpose waiting for a need and point in time: a record of my life. I discovered this when a co-worker asked me about my work at the charter school in California, you know the one where I spent all of my waking hours in Santa Barbara? And I was able to piece together the journey using my blog. I walked down memory lane as I pondered the timeline:

My first post and explanation

One of my angry moments before they let us speak up

Newspaper article midpoint

I hate the superintendent (not anymore)

Our heartwarming activist moment (article is linked to blog)

Wait I still do hate this guy!! Nevermind. Here is the video where he they show us and then him. I have a cute haircut and way better skin, I think I need to move back to California.

The stay of execution (we won! Wait, what did we win?)

My lamentations of public information laws

My better-late-than-never resignation

The final newspaper article which is kind of my swan song, has disappeared. School was saved, got a 3 year charter, blah blah blah.

And I realized how lucky I was to have this blog. The memory of that great work has already faded from my mind and I only remember the tragedy and heartache. But if you look at some of those moments in time, I got to be part of a real movement, a local movement, a community-led fight against the man and the system. Who would I be today without this experience? And the record of it is all here in this neat little web application. And there are other strands, years of halloween costumes, Catholic cigar box tributes to my deceased relatives, art shows, farewell parties, travels coast-to-coast, and my disheveled first day of school photos. I have recorded the life and love I experienced over the years and my only wish is that I had blogged the first 30 years of my life to go back and verify my charmed existence in html.

If you don't blog, I sure hope you keep a journal because, well... how sweet it is to be reminded of the gifts of our years.

New Job Thing

2011-11-29T07:21:00.000-08:00

Here I am. Chellese, they need your photography skills, I look like I have paralysis.

As My Children Age...

2011-11-27T08:19:00.000-08:00

...life gets more complicated.

When your children are very small, you put on their clothes, they don't tell you they don't like the outfit, and you put them in the car. They don't ask who is going to be there, if there are children of the same age, or if they are going to be traveling on a Sunday. They just go.

And sure they cry, sure they don't sleep, they might even have an explosive diaper situation. But they don't tell you "hey you are ruining my life by dragging me around."

Enter adolescence.

My children now insist on picking their own clothing. Don't you think this dress is delightful?

Wouldn't it be cute to see your girls dressed together in this dress?

Well too bad for you. Because they want this one:

Do they care that it is unflattering? Do they care that it is more expensive? Do they? Huh?

No. They do not.

And there are other things they care about now like dinner. Food they have eaten for years and loved they suddenly are suspicious of, like many other things that their parents do.

They want to stay up late.

They want to argue a point for the sake of their point (like their father).

They watch the debates and have an opinion. Nothing of consequence, it might be about an outfit or a funny word that someone says but still it is an opinion in the making.

They stop me every 15 seconds while we are reading a book aloud together and want to make a commentary.

They want to tell each other what to do even when I don't care (things like "mom told you to put that cup back on the counter, do it!!" or "why are you reading such a stupid book? you should read something better." ) Really? Really? Aren't two parents enough? Aren't my rules stringent enough, you are now making new stupid rules?

In short, my children have become people.

And living with more people is always more complicated.

But lest you think this post is a complaint, let me reassure you that there are some side benefits to this.

My children now feed themselves. They even occasionally help me while I make food for them. It has even become a phenomenon for one of my children to look up a recipe, make a dish, and share with others unprompted.

When Steve and I want to go to the movies, we can assign them simple tasks like "keep the house clean and we will pay you an extra dollar."

They defend me against their siblings who may be trying to break my will.

They bring in groceries, do chores, and can once in while, volunteer to help. Once in a long while.

While I may despise their taste in clothing, each of my children is developing their own sense of style and I am starting to see that they are actually better at dressing themselves than I am.

But the single greatest change that has occurred in the chaos of this aging, hormonal, frustrating phase is that I finally feel like I was meant to be a mother.

Some of you out there may like the babies, and I will admit there is a certain yumminess in our house gone forever. But after the dust of infancy and toddlerhood begins to clear, I look at my offspring and I think to myself that it was a truly worthy investment for the joy I will experience for the rest of my life.

In Preparation for Gratitude

2011-11-23T08:58:00.000-08:00

In general, I feel like I am a person who feels thankful for things. I am not always positive, optimistic and happy but in general I do feel like I have some predisposition towards gratitude.

I have heard that it is a good practice to periodically pray JUST in gratitude instead of always asking--for me, that is my default prayer. I remember to pray when I am thankful more than when I need things (this is related to an area I do struggle with, humility).

I think one explanation for my particular penchant towards the proverbial thank you is that I have been surrounded my entire life by amazing people. I know that all my personal strengths, gifts, and confidence come from a charmed life.

This year I can only say, if you are reading this blog, I am thankful for you. I hope that you have a phenomenal Thanksgiving and please, for the love of all that is holy, do not eat canned cranberry sauce.

Love at home

2011-11-20T16:29:00.000-08:00

How to Stay Healthy on the Road

2011-11-14T19:47:00.000-08:00

I was home for fewer than 24 hours before traipsing across the country and I have a lot of crap to do to catch up with both my home and work lives.

So rather than catch up on said work, I am going to do a quick blog to record this moment of my life and the energy I spend trying to be healthy. I hope I stick with these practices, it has been months so I am thinking they should be habits, no?

A couple of shoutouts first:

1) To Amanda for sending me a link to greensmoothiegirl.
2) To my co-worker Jude who has made needing to eat healthy a group event
3) To my friend Tiff for mocking the sprout sandwich I pinned. And other yummy treats on my pinterest boards.

Here are my current practices, I would love for feedback if you think these are bad things:

1) NO SUGAR. Seriously. If I pick up a bag of almonds and it has sugar, corn syrup, or aspartame, I skip it. This is the top one because I notice that after awhile, I no longer crave it. One bite and all the memories of desserts on the road come flooding into my brain and I can. Not. Resist. So sadly and tragically, no sugar.

2) No refined flour. This one is almost moot because hardly any flour-based products are sugar free. However, pasta and other non-complex flour items are on my no-no list.

3) Get Naked at Starbucks. Naked Juice makes some incredible smoothies that are comprised of healthy ingredients, they have a variety of flavors at almost every Starbucks. I probably eat 2 green smoothies a day while traveling, sometimes I get stuck with the fruit-only ones which are highly tasty. They are $4.31 each, but if you compare that with an average breakfast, lunch, or dinner price, that is pretty steenking cheap. I should buy stock in Naked Juice. PS Berry Veggie is gross, all other flavors are rockin.

4) Take the stairs. Everywhere. If there are one hundred stairs in the subway right next to an extremely steep escalator, I take them anyway. There are so few opportunities to take stairs that you should do it when you can. I sometimes request a high floor in a hotel if I know I have a few extra minutes to get out the door and back in at night and then I take the stairs. Not convenient for 6 hour hotel stays. Alternatively this section could be entitled "Dance as long as you can" but not everyone likes dancing and it may disturb you to know I dance in the bathroom, in front of the TV, and out with colleagues a few times a year if possible. It is way more fun than stairs.

5) Preparation for potential exercise. I always pack a sports bra and an extra pair of workout underwear. Then if an opportunity presents itself, I put in a DVD or youtube vids and get jiggy with zumba or Tracy. I have found that packing tennis shoes takes up space and then makes me regret that I couldn't commit to leaving my room. But in my room if I say "okay just five minutes" then even while exhausted I can come up with something in my stockinged feet.

6) Drink herbal tea Hardly any hotels carry them in the room so if I do find one, I raid the supply and take it with me. I like a peppermint for the morning and a chamomile for evening. These energize and relax me alternatively and fill me up with necessary liquids. Plus I can hang out at the coffee/dessert crowd and feel like I am partaking without filling my body with sugars and well, you already know I don't do coffee.

5) Scout out room service healthy options immediately. When I get into my hotel room, I look at all the options and tell myself how unhealthy they are and then pick something relatively harmless. Then, if I do get a temptation to eat, I have already selected the healthiest item and don't slip back to a bad choice. Most hotels have some kind of yogurt thing or a tomato salad. I don't usually order them, but it is a safe guard to pick right away and then be prepared if you give in to the call of the brownie with ice cream and chocolate sauce.

These may seem like simple things or maybe stuff you have always done, but I have struggled with weight gain and I finally, finally have brought myself to a place where not only do I not gain, but I often lose a pound or two if I am away for a long time.

If I had better self-control I would add one more thing to my repetoire:

Eat alone. When I eat alone, I eat less and I pick healthier items. However, since the purpose of life is to be good and right and to simultaneously find joy, I would find eating alone sad and a waste of an opportunity so I sacrifice a few extra calories in order to spend time with people I enjoy.

Don't worry, if you ever want to join me on one of my trips, you will find there are plenty of yummy foods out there that are not on my taboo list.

Croque Monsieur meets la Madame

2011-11-13T18:57:00.000-08:00

At my breakfast table this morning

Why I Love Halloween

2011-11-01T08:11:00.000-07:00

I never was allowed to Trick-or-Treat as a kid. My parents did not like the concept of sugar, I grew up in a small mountain town where it was a pain to go house-to-house, and I think my parents used the excuse that people were tampering with candy and putting razor blades in apples. Considering I was highly unmonitored as a child, the last excuse seems particularly flimsy.

Regardless of the reason, I have never actually gone door-to-door as a kid and as a result saw no point in dressing up and someone sadly, I do not recall a single costume I wore as a child. Not one.

As a teacher I did dress in various historical costumes to play along. I dressed as Rosie the Riveter, Lara Croft, Marie Antoinette, and a handful of others but I just never really liked dressing up.

My children have changed my mind on Halloween for the following reasons:

1) Bridget has alerted me to the joy that can be had in costume construction and the fun in planning elaborate schemes for dressing up. Each year we go to the fabric store, look over the patterns, check out beautiful fabrics, and spend way too much money sewing something that a small child in Asia could make for 1/18th the price. But we have such a fun time with the project, sitting together in the living room and talking while measuring, stitching and then using the seam ripper because I sewed something backwards, and then restitching. This year it was the Red Queen:

2) Trick-or-Treat? FUN. It isn't about candy for me, it is about walking around your neighborhood and seeing people you love! Gillian took Meg's hand and "trained" her on how to Trick-or-Treat. They held hands, they ran together, and in general there was glee abounding.

3) Even my son, who like his mother does not enjoy dressing up, gets into the craftiness of it all and we were able to construct a hat together. Great geometric thinking came with it, we talked through the two dimension turning into the 3, we calculated diameter, and problem-solved together in generating this velvet top hat. He of course refused to turn it to the side so the ribbon would be properly viewed.

I never wanted to have a bunch of kids, but days like Halloween I reflect and wonder how sad it would be to live a life childless. The wonders of surburbia could never be unearthed.

4.

Defining Beauty

2011-10-17T15:13:00.000-07:00

Since I got a little promotion it seemed meet that I should splurge and get myself something to celebrate.

So I bought myself this dress today:

Except it is an electric blue and I couldn't find the picture online. I took a picture of myself in it, but this lovely morena looks much better in it so you can appreciate the dress for what it is.

I bought it because I was already in the store buying some makeup. Why was I buying makeup? Because of this article a colleague sent to prompt critical thinking among students about gender role construction.

I can't tell you why I am so disappointed in my own actions today but I will share them with you in an attempt to have you explain them to me.

1) I bought the makeup so I would look more competent. Collaborative, but competent. I asked the 19-year old girl working the make up counter (who knows nothing about me) what looked good on me and trusted her instinct. I did NOT buy the very heavy black eyeliner she put on me, but I did buy the other stuff. I walked around wondering if people thought I looked more competent.

I went upstairs and asked if they had any wrap dresses. I so love them, but they are hard to find and expensivo. The cute little 19-year old who worked there was thrilled with herself when she showed it to me. I put on the dress and fell in love with it. It is a sleek fit, perfectly tailored, and has such a nice karma about it. It feels like a lovely dress and plus, the Nordy mirror! It is such a divine mirror, I wish I had one of my own. And the dress was 50% off!! How could I have such luck??!! But when I got home this is what I got:

Oh. I have never seen that color on you before.

2) And then I read the reviews here on the site where people said they thought the fabric looked cheap and I was going to take it back.

WHAT ON EARTH would motivate a 36-year old supposedly confident woman to take back a dress I fell so perfectly in love with an hour previously? The unenthusiastic response of a man who loves everything about me and doesn't care a thing for clothing? A review of a snobby woman who probably thinks everything in my closet looks cheap?

And why would I buy makeup so other people would think I look more competent? Shouldn't my actions speak for themselves?

Save me from myself, advice needed (but seriously, isn't it a beautiful dress?)

Opinion please

2011-10-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

My beautiful and delightful friend Chellese took some profile pictures for me that I can use in my professional world (I have a new position at work, thank you very much!)

I like all of them, but these two are the ones I am considering. I would like to solicit some opinions about which one I should use.

Hint: I want to look sincere, not intimidating or annoying.

Option A:

Option B:

Let's Do A Procedure!

2011-10-12T03:02:00.000-07:00

Twice this week my body has taken a scalpel at the hands of a specialist. Considering I have only one time in my life prior to Saturday seen a doctor for anything besides a check-up and a baby, this is a big deal to me.

I was struck both times by how quickly I had to make a decision about my health care and how speedily I put my life in another's trust without much care.

I guess this is what a specialist does.

On Saturday I took my daughter to a dermatologist for some scalp problems(which are minor and easily treatable) and he looked me square in the eye and asked if any of the four of us (had the three girls with me) had ANY skin issues he could treat or look at while we were there with him. Suddenly I said "oh yeah I have had this little thing on the back of my head for years, you want to see it?" So I hop up in the chair and ten seconds later (no exaggeration) he is scalping me. Literally, I believe, that is the origin of the word scalpel. He told me it was headed to the lab for a biopsy but he believed it was totally harmless and wouldn't see me again.

Great, I have no time for it.

I wish I could say it was painless but immediately following I had a headache and it has stayed with me all week.

Enter tooth abscess from last week.

Anyone who saw my report on facebook knows that I had an abscess and that I got some meds from the emergency room for a swollen tooth while I was in Napa last week for work. I had a follow-up dental yesterday just to make sure it was okay and it turns out that I had a huge infection in a tooth where I have had a root canal previously.

The dentist tells me I need to either see an oral surgeon to have the tooth removed and replaced with some invasive implant or bridge, OR I can SAVE the tooth and go to an Endodontist.

I weigh my options and decide to go for the one that I believed required fewer appointments and go for the Endodontist who happens to have time right this second to see me.

I hop across town, jump in the chair and after 10 minutes of some fancy x-ray, he proclaims that I have an infection eating into my jaw and sinus cavity and if I don't clean out the tooth with surgery, I had better have the tooth removed or I am looking at serious damage as soon as I run out of the meds and the penicillin is no longer fighting it. And by the way, he has time right now to take care of it.

So what do I do? Cancel my phone calls for the afternoon and put on some really fancy glasses to watch a movie while he slices up my gum and heads into the tooth through the side.

12 hours later I am up early with a swollen, tender jaw icing my wounds.

Is this what millions of Americans do each day? Hop into a chair and submit to an man with more education and likely more debt and trust him with your life?

Assume that the pills they put in a little cup are going to help you rather than hurt you? Trust that his gentle guiding hand is skilled with a blade aimed at your fleshy parts and that his experience is enough to allow you to live through it?

Yet here I sit healing, living proof that indeed you may trust a stranger with your life and if the x-ray is any indicator, I am on my way to recovery without the black spot in my jawbone.

I really wanted to link a video clip that I ran across last night to show you the procedure so you could feel sorry for me, but it was a bit graphic and I like to keep this site family friendly.

Halloween Costume

2011-10-10T06:21:00.001-07:00

These days it isn't really cost effective to sew. It isn't. There is some upcycling going on, but I haven't gotten into it quite yet. But to buy fabric, the pattern, and all the notions, you are looking at way more money for, in my case, a lower quality product.

However, I do make a costume each year for halloween for my eldest daughter who is really the only one to appreciate my antics. I have to say it has turned into an annual event which I enjoy tremendously.

This year I have actually finished the costume prior to Halloween which apparently gives me enough time to make one for Gillian.

Don't look too closely of course, but it was a fun costume to put together. My aunt Judy contributed the petticoat which really makes the whole thing anyway.

Picture Perfect

2011-09-26T06:55:00.001-07:00

Maturity Hits

2011-09-22T13:15:00.000-07:00

I now know why people refer to this age as "middle-aged." Sure, people live longer and middle age is more like mid 40s, but I have hit middle age, I am certain of it. My evidence:

Making fun of people seems mean and not fun. I wish I could go back, but it is forever gone.
I feel fine with my weight and body. WHAT?? This is wrong. I care about my health, but I just don't care if I look skinnier anymore. This disturbs me.
I don't want to eat anything packaged. It seems like poison and gross. This is particularly tragic considering that is 90% of what I can eat on the road and buy in grocery stores.
In July at our annual conference there was exactly ONE opportunity to go out dancing with my co-workers at the dueling piano bar. I have done this several years and loved it. But this year? I just went to bed instead. I even got a text at midnight asking "where the @#$% are you?" and I just rolled over and went back to sleep.
I stopped texting and driving because I believe I can actually die now.
I stopped speeding (though I might just be on hiatus for 1 more year until my record clears from the last violation)
I now seek opportunities to hang out with nuns.
6 hours and 19 minutes of sleep used to buy me extraordinary energy. Now I need about 6 hrs 30. Lame.
I read news.

Sleeping Fairies

2011-09-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

This weekend my youngest child turned 3.

For the first time I have the youngest child potty trained (mostly) and no thoughts of one coming down the pipeline.
We have diapers that we may never use.

We have 4 children who can articulate anger, frustration, happiness, and joy using words.

And how do I feel?

I know I am biased, but you can ask around--she brings joy to everyone she meets. She hugs people, she laughs, she smiles, and when she flounces into a room, it feels like there is actually just a little more light.

She refused to change her clothes and is in fact still donning the fairy gear now. I suppose she really is magical, why not dress the part?

First Day of School

2011-08-29T06:50:00.000-07:00

The first day of school I happily packed my children off to school in their perfectly coordinated outfits, new backpacks, and polished shoes.

Just kidding. I missed the first day of school for my kids. All of them. So I have no photographic evidence of my son's major ascension to junior high school.

However, I did some parental duty this weekend and bought them all overpriced binders and helped them organize their schoolwork. I also purchased for Casey a high quality trombone (well, rented) and bought a bunch of little unnecessary school supplies in an attempt to buy my children's love as I realized I was going to miss the first band concert due to work travel.

I honestly wish I didn't love the work I do so much because it would be a NO brainer to quit this deal. Every single Sunday I brainstorm alternative ways to work in education, like going back into the classroom, trying to find a job with the school district, or a volunteer position like school board member or some other no-travel position. But then Monday hits, I get an email on brainstorming ideas for a project, I have a conference call scheduled to save the world and WHAM I am sucked back into national work.

In an attempt to save my aforementioned neglect, I did snap a photo of my eldest this morning, his first day with the new trombone and I have to say that I am so happy with his school right now. He is happy, the teachers seem to be exciting and fun, and so far, it is living up to my newly found Utah standards.

Isn't he lovely?

Almost Thou Persuadeth Me

2011-08-26T14:46:00.000-07:00

I have to say that I simply love nuns. I have never had an occasion to get to know them, but the ones I worked with in Spain were a delight. Like, a REAL delight.

I can't really summarize an entire day of combining my three favorite things in the world:

Progressive education
Spanish
Do gooder religious types

If they would have served a Spanish tortilla for lunch I think I would have thought I had literally died and gone to heaven.

A few points of interest:

1) This particular order of nuns is focused on changing and improving families through education. Isn't that awesome? Yes it is.

So first they were really excited about that message. Here they are, excited

2) They had great sense of humor and were so fun to be around. They had a ton of questions and, did you know...that nuns call each other by their first name?? So it was like Monika, Edith, etc.

3) They were happy, beautiful, and really focused on doing good. I mean, I felt like they were doing some really special work in the world and it was a privilege to be a part of it:

I am going to start looking for nuns to hang out with them more. Do you think there are any in Utah?

Teleferic

2011-08-25T16:03:00.000-07:00

Sent from my robot phone

Plaza de España

2011-08-25T01:43:00.001-07:00

With Cervantes, Don Quixote y Sancho Panza.

Madrid de noche

2011-08-24T16:01:00.001-07:00

Detalles

2011-08-23T15:09:00.000-07:00

So I had an awesome day with nuns but I am a few posts behind and I have to stay in order.

Fact: Barcelona is totally awesome. Fountains mmm:

Fact: If you drink from the fountain in La Rambla, you always return. Also a fact: The water tastes disgusting. Since I have gone to that fountain several times, the desire to return courses like poison in my veins, no need to feed the best. I did get a foto taken by it though.

Fact: The official language of Barcelona and the entire region surrounding is Catalán. For those who don't know the deep roots of a very long battle, the region of Catalunya wants to be separate--not like tejas that jokes about it, but for reals for reals Catalunya doesn't want to be part of Spain and in fact does not consider what we consider "Spanish" to be Spanish, rather Castellano. Though I have used the term before, I had forgotten that some Catalanes consider it an insult to call it Spanish (even though they don't want to be Spanish, so, weird.) Anywho, linguists know that if a language isn't useful, it declines so they require it for everything these days to protect the language from extinction and to resurge as a great language of art and culture. The sign below is in Catalán and is the one found at the base of said fountain:

Fact: Awesome architecture due largely to Gaudí. More on that guy later, but everywhere you see his influence:

Fact: Spaniards love motorcyles. Harleys, really, but they don't drive them, they drive little motos. Here is a sampling of moto love:

Fact: El Barça has the best soccer team in the world right now. My friend (well, her husband to be exact) es, like many other in his city, un fanático. Their entire family dressed up and of course bought me un original shirt. They were very happy to see me in the shirt, I hope I actually wear it again in my life. Maybe Halloween?

I have many other pictures, but at least I got these up for now. Next post: Mucha marcha en Madrid and Flamenco.

The Spanish Beso

2011-08-22T10:09:00.000-07:00

I was planning to do a post on detalles--all the details of Barcelona which focused on hundreds of pictures of roof tops. Be thankful for lousy internet that all you get is this post until my pictures finish downloading.

Since I mentioned the Spanish beso in my last post I thought I would help out those of you who have no knowledge of the beso.

In Spain, you give a kiss (beso) to people on each cheek under the following circumstances:

1) You are being introduced to someone new

2) You see someone you know after a long time (a month, a year, 5 years, etc.)

3) You see someone you know really well after a shorter time period

It is a very sweet tradition, people seem to do it in place of a hug and there is an indicator that you are going to get a beso when the person leans in towards you--not really any awkwardness, a nice simple expression of kindness and caring.

Not surprisingly for those of you know about missionary policies in the Mormon church (which are basically guidelines similar to what a nun or priest might follow), the missionaries are discouraged from giving besos to the opposite sex. It goes hand in hand with a strict no-opposite sex general policy which precludes missionaries from being alone in a room, or even at a 1/1 ratio with members of the opposite gender. It is a really important guideline that helps missionaries really focus on spiritual work instead of on their more tangible and very alert hormones at that age.

Anyway, as a person who is a bit of a hugger (not like, lingering huggy and hang all over you hugger, just a normal I care about you hugger) I had a hard time with the "no beso" rule when I was on my mission.

See in Spain, a beso is a gesture of friendliness, not attraction, and by making it taboo, it actually elevates the level of the beso to feel like it IS related to attraction. So... I admit a few times when someone was already leaning in, I let it slide. Mostly we used the line "no damos besos" (we don't give kisses) but it was such an awkward moment if the person was already moving in for the kiss.

Fortunately, we could beso the ladies all we liked which were mainly the people we kept company with anyway, so I didn't miss out on the tradition entirely.

Now that I am in Spain as a post-missionary girl, it is enjoyable to not stress about that awkwardness of "no damos besos" and instead meet and greet whomever I like in a platonic kiss.

I highly recommend both Spain and the beso.

Today I splurged and got myself tickets for a dinner and flamenco show at what is apparently the premier restaurant of Madrid, Corral de la Morería which is featured in the Book "1000 Places to See Before You Die." Hopefully I can get a few snapshots without looking too touristy.

La vida quotidiana parte II

2011-08-20T14:07:00.000-07:00

I am taking a different kind of vacation in Spain. My former mission companion, Cristina, refers to it as la vida quotidiana--the daily life. I am in a suburb an hour outside of Barcelona and we are doing a lot of things that Spanish people do, and I am loving it. I almost think everyone should do a vacation where you go to a non-touristy spot and you stay in a humble living space to really, really experience what people do. It reminds me of the mission except I can kiss attractive men.

So... what do Spanish people do?

Well... they go shopping. I personally LOVE grocery stores in other countries. In fact, I would love to do a grocery tour across Europe. If you ever travel to another country, make SURE to go to a local market (skip the touristy stores) so you can get a sense of what the average Joe eats. Fascinating, really and truly. Even within the United States I find the comparison interesting.

One thing they do, which seems super smart to me, is they have a security system for their carts! You pay a Euro, click the button and take the cart, but if you return it to the place, you get your Euro back when you click it in!! Smart, no?

Spaniards eat mainly fresh food. They eat bread of the day, they eat fresh tomatoes, onions, garlic, and other vegetables they might sneak into a fritura with olive oil for some tasty dish or other. Here below you can see the fabulous, well-priced produce in the plaza of the city. Doesn't it look beautiful?

One thing I found totally different was in the appliance store. Check out how narrow the fridges are!

Maybe you couldn't tell, so here is a point of reference:

We also went to a birthday party where I happened upon a woman whose husband was in my mission. The kid looks JUST like his dad. I mean, seriously!!

Here I am eating way too much chorizo with my former companion and wonderful friend Cristina Colomo who I love to bits and pieces. She is a REAL Catalán.

Tomorrow: Church and then a nun.

Vida quotidiana

2011-08-20T07:56:00.001-07:00

To Spain

2011-08-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

In 8 hours I will land in the city of Barcelona where I will be embraced by the Mediterranean. She has called my name for years and I could not answer but today is the day my friends. The day I will return to the land where my adult life began.

And it has been sweet my friends. While I had a happy youth and a reasonably average level of self-loathing during adolescence, my life markedly, decidedly improved as I aged and it seems to still be in on upswing and I attribute so much of my happiness to the formative experience I had as a missionary while in Spain.

My only wish for this trip is that my family were with me to enjoy it.

So... what will I be doing?

A little bit of this:

A little bit of that:

And of course my primary responsibility:

Working with a group of nuns on Tuesday.

I would ask you to pray for me but I need you to send your luck and prayers to the following individuals who have a lot of "firsts" to go through without me around.

Steve. Who I love more than life and who I already miss so that he can get the routine started for back-to-school week
Gillian. Has her first soccer practice and game (ever!) this week. She is also starting up the Spanish immersion this year (she had to take a hiatus because the program here doesn't start until 2nd grade)
Casey. Starting Junior High (gulp!) as a big 7th grader.
Meghan. Potty Training.
Bridget. That she can adjust to going to bed before 3 am.

Hasta luego chicos!!

A Tragic Affair

2011-08-12T04:41:00.001-07:00

Dear Sugar,

I think we need to reevaluate our relationship. I thought I was clear with you about wanting to be just friends, but every time I go on a trip for work, you call me and want to get together. A lot. You aren't satisfied with the regular 3 or 4 times a week, you call me constantly and then make an appearance wearing that chocolate outfit you know I love so much.

Yesterday I saw you across the room and tried to make it clear that Protein and I are trying to get to know each other, but there you were, spending time with Protein just to get close to me.

This morning, Veggies and I were hanging out and then you randomly showed up on my plate. I guess here in the Midwest you let yourself get around a little more than usual hidden in a yellow corn cloak, which frankly should embarrass you.

I know I have said this before, but I need you to stop calling me. Stop showing up wherever you know I will be and please, for the love of all that is holy, stop sneaking around my hotels. If I see your face at check in or in my room waiting to take advantage of me because I am tired, it will push me over the edge. If you really and truly love me, please let me go.

I am going to take a break from you over the next few months and when I go to Spain next week and ignore you, please understand that it isn't you, it is me. I need to get these feelings under control and plan on a torrid affair with Dairy for a few weeks just to stop myself from thinking about you.

I hope you can forget me though truly, I will never forget you.

PS Please tell your cousin Aspartame to quit hitting on me, he is such a sleaze bag.

From el iPad

Now Hiring: A New Tooth Fairy

2011-08-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

Isn't it cute when your children get so excited when they lose a tooth? And the promise of a fair payment in exchange for the maturation process, the loss, bit by bit, of childhood and the mourning of the creeping threat of braces and root canals?

But in our house, the sight of a loose tooth inspires fear among the adults, a fear unlike any other you experience as a parent: the inevitable disappointment your children will experience the next morning knowing that no matter how hard you try, the tooth fairy is going to let you down.

The tooth fairy that visits our house is, alas, a mess. She has failed to come on several occasions and in fact has leveraged a few excuses to allay the tears of a child:

--The tooth fairy doesn't come on Sundays
--The tooth fairy is giving you three stickers instead of money

This morning, however, the tooth fairy topped even her own track record with a new excuse:

--The tooth fairy placed your money under your sister's pillow.

To be honest, I think the tooth fairy did it on purpose because he doesn't believe in propagating myths of fantastical beings.

My Posterity

2011-07-31T11:31:00.001-07:00

On Mortality

2011-07-30T07:22:00.000-07:00

My mother-in-law was diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer last week and I am still reeling from it.

Her prognosis is good, she will be having a hysterectomy on Monday and they will determine her stage and phase of cancer. Apparently this kind of cancer has a high survival rate because you can remove the part of the body it has attacked fairly easily and comprehensively. Any prayers or good energy you can spare on her behalf would be deeply appreciated.

Up the Canyon

2011-07-29T23:01:00.000-07:00

Living near the mountains is much like living near the beach: you have to make a concerted effort to enjoy it and actually schedule time so you can build memories like these:

My Conferenceness

2011-07-23T06:31:00.000-07:00

The last picture I posted was of me on stage prior to starting a conference which I co-chaired the last few years. It was a ton of work, all life-consuming really, and those of you who have had the misfortune of being in my presence during the month of July the last three years, you know just how little else I do during that planning time. We had 1000 participants but even more challenging, we had five difference groups running completely different conferences all in the same building. Herding cats to submit agendas and logistical details in a timely fashion simply wasn't possible so we were running last minute on everything, of course. However, it is finished and I feel a deep sense of satisfaction on behalf of my wonderful organization and all the people who contributed to the success of the conference.

Those of you who have noted my absence during the summer (mental if not physical) will be pleased to hear that I am passing the baton to a co-worker who will chair it next year and I will be merely and advisor.

I am both thrilled and sad to be finished with that work but surely the time will be sucked away by some other event.

In other news, I will be traveling to Madrid in August to provide some professional development to a group of nuns interested in authentic assessment. You read that correctly, nuns. They are principals of 40 schools as part of a network. I am going to be doing this work in Spanish and I am very nervous about how that will go, but I figure anyone else would have done it in Spanish and if they are nuns than they ought to be more forgiving of my errors, no?

My only regret is that I am going alone. If anyone has some spare time I would love a little company.

Oh and last piece of news, I am writing this from my new iPad which I love to bits and pieces. If you don't have one, trés sad.

Finito

2011-07-22T08:29:00.001-07:00

Day of the Sardines

2011-07-16T11:10:00.000-07:00

In Spain, Ash Wednesday is a very sad event in which the partying comes to an end and they bury the sardines. Or something like that, to be honest I can't remember how the sardines fit in.

But I do know that it is associated with the end of a party and great weeping of the Spaniards and I know how they feel because the end of Grandpa camp is marked with great sadness for our family. Here is a commemorative film highlighting some of the great moments:

Grandpa Camp II (III)

2011-07-14T04:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry for my dearth of posting, I am in heaven (aside from the weather, ahem) at the lakeside North Carolina Grandpa Camp.

For those who do not recall this little gem of an experience from last year, it is a combination of working hard and playing hard, my favorite mix in life.

Working hard: Making meals for 20 people 3 x a day:

I am actually just taking a break from my paid job, the real chef is Aunt Jenny with the fab legs. I show up to be her sous or provide periodic dishwashing support along with a few others not pictured.

Playing hard: Intertubing children

Working hard: Kids' nightly chores to keep those shoes in line

Playing hard: No explanation required

Working hard: Preparing for the annual conference day and night (no picture but you can imagine me sitting at the computer and staring really hard)

Playing hard: Eating delicious gourmet meal after delicious gourmet meal.

I have some other pictures but Aunt Abby so kindly posted them on the Caboodle so I was able to borrow them for this post. Stay tuned for today's events...

Working hard: Making Harry's Hogwart's Haystacks for a crowd

Playing hard: Eating red velvet cake pops and a treasure hunt for Hidden Harry Handouts

Partay

2011-07-02T16:56:00.001-07:00

Summer Encampment

2011-06-25T17:02:00.000-07:00

Our children had the opportunity to participate in the Noorda Theatre Summer Camp again this year. Gillian was able to do a child's version of Midsummer Night's Dream and since I wasn't here I had to take it from Steve that it was really and truly a delightful final performance. Our daughter tapped into her creativity and danced like a fairy.

My eldest two, however, of ALL the choices, decided to pick the following:

EnACTing History - World War II
Students will enhance their acting skills, speaking abilities, and historical understanding as they enact dramatic moments that led the American people in and out of war. The course will include training in improvisational acting, persuasive speech, and historical research as students experience great events first hand in their roles as historical characters. Each week will culminate with a one-hour improvisational performance for family in friends in which a courageous group of citizens must make momentous decisions. Depending on students' persuasive abilities, the course of history may be altered! Special funding from the College of Humanities and Social Science make it possible for us to offer this course for only $75 a week.

I encouraged them to take something more like Stage Combat or Storytelling but they insisted they were interested in learning history. Obviously they get that from their papa.

But the class instructor pulled a bait and switch and instead of doing WWII, they decided the topic would be...

The Holocaust.

They had to pick between the following roles:

Nazi doctor
Camp guard
Resistance fighter
Allied Soldier
Jew
Nazi Civilian

When our son came home he said "All we do is kill people." He was pretty upset about it so *Steve's sister talked to the kids, reread the description and decided that maybe they were going to rewrite history so Steve left them in for the week, especially when it seemed like the activities they were doing in camp each day were more light-hearted. The kids seemed to like it better after day 1.

Cut to Friday:

Note: Actors are children ages 10-14

Scene #1

Camp Director: Jews to the showers!!

Camp Guard (played by my son): They don't look that dirty to me, they don't need to take a shower

Nazi doctor: Pull the lever!!!

Camp Guard: {lets them free}

Nazi doctor: So you didn't pull the lever? [chops off Camp Guard's fingers]

Scene #2

Nazi Camp Director: I am not guilty for what I have done because the Jews are all spit.

Scene #3

Allied Soldiers: Hi Jews, we are here to rescue you!

Jews: Do you have any food for us, please?

Allied Soldiers: Yes

Jews: [Die on stage]

Isn't summer camp fun?

*For Steve's rendition see The Juvenile Instructor

Ode to the Paterfamilias.

2011-06-17T21:16:00.000-07:00

As I will be leaving on Sunday for the first of two big conferences and tomorrow Steve is going to give a paper at a conference that I will attend for a few moments to hear him deliver. We are both hoping that after hearing his paper I will say "Oh! Interesting!" rather than "What?"

Due to the busy schedule of the blessed Father's Day weekend, we decided to serve up some food this eve and celebrate tonight. More on that in a minute.

When I was at the grocery store, I asked the girls "What kind of ice cream does daddy like?" and we stood there stumped. Next we were in the chips aisle and we asked ourselves "What kind of chips dos daddy like?" And then I started to cry because I realized that after nearly 13 years of marriage, my husband knows every detail about me. He knows that my favorite ice cream is something with lots of chocolate. He knows that my favorite chips contain a hint of lime. He probably even knows that 10/10 is it a green salsa over a red.

But him? The only thing I know about his taste is that he likes everything we like. He loves to make us happy. And when he is thinking about what kind of ice cream he wants, he defaults to what will bring me the most joy: chocolate bits of something yummy.

Steve has been focused on my happiness since the day we met and he doesn't waiver, ever. I had an opportunity to go to Spain to do some training in August (another post later) and rather than say "dude, you travel ALL the freaking time and you are gone for like two weeks already in August." He looked me in the eye and said "honey, I totally support you going to Spain, that is wonderful."

Most of all, I appreciate how much he loves the children he made me have. I don't regret a single one and I appreciate that he takes care of them all the time so I don't remember why I didn't want to have them before they were born.

For these and a million other reasons, I am happily married to the most selfless and least materialistic person on the planet.

So since he is so easy to please, I made him what I have been wanting for dinner lately:

Aged Irish White Cheddar Cheese melted on Rosemary Olive Oil Bread.

With some steak for good measure.

I didn't include a picture due to its grotesque nature, but I did throw in a little treat that was Steve-specific: sauteed mushrooms.

For dessert I stole a recipe from Paula Deen and made a summer fruit tart:

The fruit tart recipe was amazing, but I didn't have the glaze ingredients on hand, so I used instead a glaze that I modified from this site. If you like fruit, cream cheese, and whipping cream, you would have been ecstatic to join our desserting crew tonight.

Finally, for a gift we decided to splurge and bought him a nice sports coat. When he saw it he asked if we had taken his suit to the dry cleaners for a gift.

So easy to please, this one.

Eye of the Storm

2011-06-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday as I was coming into Albany we flew through this:

Light flashed in the sky and then the plane took a dip to the side, sending the passengers into a frenzy as drinks flew, ice fell, electronic gadgets dropped, and sleeping folks woke up. An older French woman behind me started chanting 'Ay Jesus!' (or the French equivalent) over and over while making the sign of the cross. It was the worst turbulence I have ever experienced and I was genuinely scared and began to panic myself.

However, I was fortunate enough to be seated next to a 12-year old girl who looked up at me with tears in her eyes and asked "Are we going to crash??"

Then my logical teacher brain kicked in and I said "Of course not, what would we crash into up in the air?" I calmly wiped her spilled ice into the cup as the plane was shaking and told her that almost all crashes happen during take off or landing when we are close to the ground. I am not sure if that is actually true, but I heard that once and it seemed like something good to stay when the plane was dancing in the clouds. What amazed me most is that I became extremely calm and I couldn't focus on my own panicky heartbeat.

I thought to myself I hope the guy sitting in the exit aisle can stay calm if we crash.

I once read a very sad article about 9/11 and how so many people could have exited the building if they would have understood the danger they were in--and that people who did realize what was happening went into a sort of decision paralysis. The point of the article was that the people who did get out, and got out quickly, were people who knew the layout of the building very well. Their brains were not paralyzed because they had practiced leaving the building in emergency situations.

As a former teacher I have experienced the following emergencies:

--Lost teenager in Europe
--Passed out teenager in the streets of Spain
--4 intoxicated, vomiting teenagers on a bus and in an airport
--Driving on twisty streets down an Italian canyon under construction during a thunderstorm to reach teenagers from whom I had become separated
--Lost teenagers in downtown Los Angeles during a conference
--A tweener running in the classroom and beating another student's head against a desk
--Searching teenagers for drugs during a dance to find the source of the pharmaceuticals
--Countless "teenage emergencies" from relationship drama to lost money/ipods

I decided that the presence of a 12-year old on that airplane is what pulled the familiar from my own brain and got me into my zone. I hope that if I am ever in any real emergency that there is a teenager in the room (that I am not related to, si claro!) to save my life.

A Real Vacation

2011-06-07T22:31:00.000-07:00

My Miraculous Weight Loss Journey

2011-06-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

Okay friends, it has been a long 5 month journey of changing my lifestyle and I wanted to record the heartwarming results of my hard work.

Feb: I decide I need to lose weight. Join weight watchers online

March: I successfully complete 5 weeks of weight watchers without going over points a single week.

March: Weight loss after 5 weeks: 0

April: Have completely changed my eating habits and try to have predominately vegetables and fruit as my main courses, but relax on the points tracking.

April: I start attending zumba classes 4-5 times a week in addition to doing strength training twice weekly. When traveling, exercise in my hotel room daily.

April: Weight loss after 9 weeks: 0

May: Step up exercise to daily strength training and zumba classes at least once a day plus zumba routine at home. When traveling try to walk average of 5 miles a day (easy in NYC) and exercise in hotel room.

May: Weight loss after 14 weeks: 0
Other measures:

Inches off waist: 0
Inches off bust: -2 (figures)
Inches off hips: 0
Inches off legs: +4 inches. That means I added 4 inches.
Dress size: Down 2 but I think that is because I haven't shopped for a long time and I think the sizes are getting bigger--today's 8 is yesterday's 10.

So.. does this make sense to anyone? I go from an almost completely sedentary lifestyle where I am not watching what I eat to a fairly low calorie diet (at least compared to what it was) and then add 90 minutes of exercise (or more) most days and I haven't seen real results. I am not trying to lose a bunch of weight, just a mere 5 pounds would be nice (that would put me in a healthy zone instead of overweight).

I have a before and after picture--same clothes. There isn't a staggering difference between a year ago and now:

But here is the miracle--in spite of not having lost a drop, I feel so good about my exercise and eating. I still could stand to cut back on a few things here and there (and when I travel I need to be better about portions) but I love the way I feel when I get done with my exercise classes and in spite of having an exorbitant amount of travel lately, I hardly feel the transitions that used to be very difficult for me. I am actually feeling like I made a lifestyle change as opposed to being ON a diet.

BUT I am going to try to go back to WW again and be religious about it for the next 8 weeks and see if I can put a dent in the scale. Wish me luck, low-cal recipes and/or ideas on other techniques welcome. Nothing that involves the word treatment please.

Angels in the City

2011-05-25T14:42:00.000-07:00

Time Zoning Out

2011-05-21T09:59:00.000-07:00

I was in Texas for close to 24 hours. I wish I would have been there longer because I think I could dig Texas for real. The high school I went to visit there is UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME. I have seen a lot of schools that are really incredible, but I think it might have been one of my faves.

It did pour down rain on me from the school to the car (about 100 ft) and the result was ridiculous amounts of water soaking me all the way to the bone. Tejano weather capricious.

The airport is lousy, if you ever rent a car from DFW,you have to allow yourself an extra hour (so plan on arriving 2 hours before your flight).

Anyway, the real purpose of the blog is report that I got home at 10 pm last night and I am leaving tomorrow at 5 pm to go to NYC until Thursday after getting back from California last week.

And to let you know that I feel tremendously blessed that my body continues to serve me with health and comfort in spite of the travel.

Ride it out with me:

1 week on ET
2 days on MT
1 week on PT
4 days on MT
1 day on CT
1 day on MT
5 days on ET

When I set an appointment in ET for 2 pm, I show up in MT and my phone converts it to 12 pm. Great, right? But what if in my head, I naturally translate the time to 12 because I know that is what time it is when I am in MT? When I get back to MT, my phone translates it to 10 am. And then I email someone in California to remind them of the time and they say, wait, I thought you said 11, not 9.

The trick is to realize that time is in your head--so when I travel from one time zone to another, I don't say to myself "Oh to me it is actually 3 AM!!" If I have to get up at 5. I just say "Hmm what time is it? Oh, 5 am, great.""

I feel the drag, I really do--but I just do a little zumba, have some strawberries, yell at my kids, and I get over it.

More Junior High Experience

2011-05-16T21:18:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I am just complaining here. Boring to you non-educationgeeks

Me: {sigh} I guess I will go try to get Casey registered at local junior high x

Me: {in front office} Hi, we recently moved to the area and I still have not registered my son for 7th grade yet

Lady: Okay, you need to go the counseling office

Me: {Returning after finding door locked} Actually, just like the other junior high we tried to visit, the counseling office is closed on the one day I can get here before school is out. Sorry, we are just trying to adjust to such a big school system, we came from California.

Lady: Uh, you came from California and you think THIS is a big school system.

Me: Yes. Well I mean the schools here are really large.

Lady: {Getting on the horn} Yeah, counselor chick? You have a parent up here who wants to register her son, and your door is locked. Yes. Okay. Sending her over.

Counselor: {blah blah paperwork}

Me: Great. Okay, so do you have a paper that describes your mission, vision, or your educational approach or whatever?

Counselor (and now another counselor hovering): Uhhh....Well we do some GREAT stuff, we just don't write it down. I mean, people come from all over the state to see the stuff we do!

Me: Of course, that is wonderful. Can you give me an example?

Counselor duo: Welll....Oh I know! We have this cool thing called *free time where kids can go get extra help if they want, or they can just play around and stuff, really motivates them to get their work done so they can play. It is awesome. Our principal is really data driven and we really help kids by allowing them to learn at their own pace--so it isn't IF they learn, it is WHEN they learn. So teachers are really flexible in allowing them to make up work, get extra help etc. We totally allow late work and that free time is their chance to get the help they need.

Me: {Actually that IS kind of awesome, I LOVE free time} Oh cool, I get it, that is great, you really help kids if they don't get it the first time, that is wonderful to hear. What about the first time around, you know, the first time the teachers teach the material? What is their educational philosophy, or what kind of professional development do they get or.. you know?

Counselor duo: Uh... I am not really sure what you mean by educational philosophy, but they go to trainings and stuff. I mean, I always hear people say "Man that teacher has been around FOREVER" so we have really good teachers. We also have really high attendance due to our new tardy and attendance policy. He goes to district meetings and they are like handing out stacks to everyone of their attendance and like one page to him.

Me: Oh really, what is your attendance rate?

Counselor duo: Oh. We don't know. Wait here comes the principal! He might know.

Data-driven principal: It's high. Way high. I don't know if off the top of my head.

Okay stop. Collaborate and listen. (Wait that line makes NO sense because you don't really need to collaborate to listen).

If you are a non-educator and still reading, you might miss this subtlety, but I have worked with close to 100 principals in the span of my life and I have NEVER met a principal who did not know his attendance numbers within a few percentage. Do you know why? Because THAT is the number that funds your school. Like literally, you get dollars for attendance.

Every high school, every junior high, every elementary school principal knows that number because it represents your success in keeping kids at school. The attendance rate represents your ability to take kids out of poverty and change their lives, or teach second language learners to adapt. The attendance rate is what separates a good school from a great school. The attendance rate is almost the sole criteria for principals in low performing broken urban schools AND if you have a higher attendance rate than your neighboring schools, even in a high performing school district you know it.

And if you are data-driven, you doubly know it.

So here is the real quandry--did he lie? Or did he really not know it? And which is worse?

Sorry friends, I must record these moments as my personal journey through the public education system gets worse by the minute.

We are sending him to that school by the way. Why? Because they have mandatory music class so I can be a Tiger Parent via sending him to high-performing, high-attendance junior high schools in my community. I always wanted to be a Tiger mom I just don't have the guts. Now I can let the school system at least force him to take the music classes and live in peace.

Plus I am going to formulate some good public comments for the school board meetings next year. Can't wait until my travel slows down.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent

Things I Should Remember

2011-05-14T17:04:00.000-07:00

The last few months have been so happy for me. I can't decide if it is because I have been exercising regularly, because we live in such a beautiful house, or if we just haven't gotten entrenched in the community enough to have responsibilities beyond our family. Regardless of root cause, I feel like I have been so happy lately when I am at home.

I have been traveling way too much but will cut back as of June which makes me even happier.

A sampling of things I have done here and loved:

1. Helped at a friend's wedding--I thought this basket that the brother of the bride put together was so beautiful of all the homemade breads (chocolate, garlic asiago, whole wheat, tomato basil, etc.) Isn't that a gorgeous way to display bread? I am going to have to remember this little catering tip for the future.

2. Inspired by my friend Tiffany's little crafty self, I called her for some ideas on making cake truffles. Believe me, these things were tasty and just used up some leftover cake and frosting we had sitting around. These were for teacher appreciation week btw.

3. One of my recent trips to NYC--this is the Lincoln Center and the sparkly little lights are the word "Welcome" in a million different languages. I guess the droid camera doesn't capture that kind of light intensity, but I liked the way the picture turned out and feel like it captured how I felt when I was there. I am going back in about a week.

4. Up the canyon--we had a nice little Friday night picnic up there last week and it was so enjoyable. I definitely will be adding this to things to do around here. Here are some shots of what we did together--I include the first one so you can see Meg is now cast-free and participating (with a limp) in more active family time.

Gillian took this and I felt like it just captured Meg's joy at the river. She wanted to just sit at the water's edge and play the whole time.

Casey was off doing his own thing....

5. Work meeting--our entire staff got together in Napa this week and here at the end of the table standing up is my boss. She is lovely and tremendous and everyone I work with is incredible. I can't say enough how much I love the job I have and the people I work with--though the travel has been really intense for everyone on our team, we still enjoyed the opportunity to hang out together during meals.

I need to remember to blog these as separate events rather than try to squeeze it in one post, but that is how I have felt anyway.

Maybe next week.

A Quiz

2011-05-03T09:53:00.001-07:00

This bookshelf belongs to:
A. Harry Potter
B. Merlin
C. Maleficent
D. Steve Fleming

How to Throw a Zumba Party

2011-05-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

I attended a fantabulous Ladies Night at the Orem Rec Center last evening. I was fortunate to have my marathon-running friend Chellese join me to which I am tremendously grateful. Lady Night just doesn't have the same ring to it.

They had some beautiful fruit and vegetable trays set out, some giveaways (I didn't win) and then they had a bunch of physical fitness activities. They had a woman who showed you around the weight room giving tips on weight training, water aerobics, spinning class, and of course a 90 minute Zumba party.

It was one of those legit parties, complete with spotlights and a stage, and I kind of felt like I was going to a high school dance without the nervousness of a wallflower (again, thanks to my hot date). The party coordinators and Zumba instructors were wonderful, high energy, organized, and in general great hosts.

Since this was my first Zumba party, and my brain is immersed in conference planning for my job, I couldn't help but pay attention to the details that make for a great Zumba Party experience. So, as a gift to all of my certified Zumba instructor friends (current count: 0) here is a list of the details you might want to keep in mind in planning one of these babies:

The stage needs to be about eye level--anything lower, it is tough for the people in the back to see
Lower lights, to keep anxiety low for new people
Flashing color lights to keep the energy high
Lots of Shakira
Encourage people to spread out and ask them to stand with their arms wide out to both sides to do a quick check
Have 3 instructors on stage to have more people to follow and to keep the energy high
Stick with songs with a steady beat; remixes and syncopated songs are hard to follow
Stick a plant in the crowd to periodically yell out encouraging words or exciting cheers
Aim for surround sound--placing speakers in the back can help pump up the jam
Keep a sound person on call so that if anything goes wrong with the sound, you have someone there to keep the instructors free
Hand out some little belly dancer/gypsy scarves so people can shake their hips with an amplified sound track

I highly recommend the Zumba Party and hope to attend a few here and there when possible.

New York Eataly

2011-04-26T21:44:00.001-07:00

A Very Special Easter Phone Call

2011-04-25T06:16:00.000-07:00

As I am slicing the bread to prepare for our soon-to-be lovely Easter Dinner, I get a phone call from a man named Cole who tells me of a lovely surprise: Our stuff has arrived!

And though it is Easter Sunday, and though my uncle did not respond to my email a few weeks ago querying about where our items are, and though I am running late to serve up dinner, I am still pleased because I am tired of the same clothes I have been wearing for 8 weeks.

Cole says that he was planning on dropping off the stuff that day, but my uncle had told him not to deliver on Easter Sunday which I appreciated and then he asks me for the address.

The following conversation ensues:

Me: ...Orem, Utah

Cole: Wait, WHAT? WHERE is THAT?

Me: Uh, Utah?

Cole: No, I mean, where in Utah?

Me: Oh, it's about 45 minutes south of Salt Lake City

Cole: SOUTH????

Me: Wait, where are you?

Cole: Ogden. You say Orem is to the SOUTH? I was told you were in Ogden.

Me: No. We have never lived in Ogden, we never planned on living in Ogden, and we never will live in Ogden.

Cole: [Silence]

Me: So... we have a few things in the truck that we want at the house and then we will head over to storage which is just a mile away, is that okay?

Cole: I was not told this is a two-part deal.

Me: Okay well just show up at the house, okay?

For those of you not aware of Utah geography, here is a map for you:

If anyone is free, we will be unpacking around mid-morning.

And then no sleep til Brooklyn tomorrow pm.

Three Dimensional

2011-04-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

For so long I have felt like a one-dimensional person, whose main conversation topic is education. As I counted a 4th arrow in my quiver, I could add failing parenting and/or managing children to my topics.

Most everything else I don't have much to offer.

But I have a NEW thing that I want to talk about: Zumba.

I have always been a zumba girl, I have been attending classes off and on for a number of years starting with a salsa aerobics class about 7 years ago with my beloved instructor, Sergio. If only I blogged at that time, I link you to a few pics of him. He was truly adorable, a little latino man with a motorcycle.

The class was full of older latinas who were very focused on Sergio's physique. I tried to avert my eyes because, well, strangers who are good-looking like that kind of embarrass me. I wish now my gaze had lingered longer, but, I am sure I am not lacking anything in my life for having a cloudy memory.

For the years in-between, I went to hip-hop and a few zumba classes in Sacramento, and then I kind of petered out when we got to SB. I started to pick up SOME momentum again before we moved thanks to the efforts of my friend Lisa who helped encourage me to go by... going.

Now I live in Orem which has GOT to be some kind of zumba capital. I go to a class 4 nights a week plus Saturdays and it is PACKED. I like all the instructors and the classes are good exercise, but one of the instructors is absolutely phenomenal. She is easy to follow yet she does some fun steps that keep my mind off of the fact that I am exercising. She is super energetic without being annoying AND her taste in music is so similar to my own it is uncanny. So I stayed after class to get to know her, maybe kind of stalkerish to her since apparently in Utah there are so many students in the classes they don't even need to ask your name. It turns out that she is one of those amazing people who has six kids, an amazing body, and a podcast--and she is a great instructor to boot.

I feel like I should thank her and of course Chellese my awesome friend who got me started down the road of fitness, for my current happy mentality about life. Exercise really DOES make a difference and may I always remember how much nicer I am to be around when I am taking care of my body.

So next time you see me, I will be happy to show you the 20 youtube videos I string together to make a workout when I can't go to class, or talk about a playlist, or contemplate whether the classes in Utah have cleaner music than they do in California.

3-D me.

Happiness

2011-04-21T10:33:00.001-07:00

O Women of Utah

2011-04-17T21:48:00.000-07:00

For all the songs written about California girls, I wonder why no one has chosen to write one about the women of Utah.

Take a ride with me as I have a flashback to my days at BYU...

I grew up in a small town. I was in all the AP classes and on honor roll and I was student body president. I was also in the band, worked a part-time job, and knew a lot of important people in my town. I think I sat on a community council or two, and did some service at church.

When I went to BYU as an 18 year old girl, however, it became clear that I was a dime/dozen compared to the girls with far greater musical talent, leadership ability, academic focus, and most clearly at a young and vulnerable age, I was significantly less beautiful. Don't try to comment on that, it is merely a fact. If you went to BYU, you know I am not being humble.

Fortunately for me, I was able to quickly find good friends who seemed to love me just for me, to get through that very awkward phase and help usher me into a new era in which laughing and ~~making fun of people~~ having fun together trumped wallowing in self-pity.

Serving a mission and focusing on others for 18 months of my young adulthood plus having a rewarding career in education has helped me to get over any self-esteem issues regarding my looks--well that and marrying a delusional man who still tells me I am beautiful even when I am wearing a holey T-shirt and yoga pants (a common event.)

Fast forward to the present in which I am suddenly underwhelmed at my life's achievements.

Women here do not just have 4 children, they have 6...or 8....or 9.

They are fit--they run, they swim, they zumba, they run marathons. In Paris.

They bake and do homemade crafts.

They act or sing, run programs, and volunteer in the PTA.

They serve in church and they babysit people's children.

They blog, they do podcasts, they run businesses.

I wish I could say that I confidently hold up my head and say I am your equal. But I cannot. I am intimidated and amazed by these women.

But for now I am going to let the peer pressure wash over me and I hope that I become a little more talented, a little more spiritual, and a little more fit so that I can benefit from the likes of these women and proudly say to those who do not know it is par for the course:

I am Lee Fleming

I have 4 kids. I zumba. I bake. I save schools. I serve in church and I babysit children. I blog. I live in Utah and I am a Mormon.

Why Spring Break is Super Awesome

2011-04-12T21:33:00.000-07:00

Americans participate in a wonderful experience called "Spring Break" in which loving mothers everywhere have the opportunity to experience the sheer joy of play.

It has been cute to watch the girls around the house (and periodically Casey when he isn't mercilessly teasing the chicas) and I couldn't help but capture them this morning as they were happily playing. The video is super blurry, but you get a glimpse of my gimpy little Meg and her magical smile.

Why Spring Break is Super Lame

2011-04-11T21:53:00.000-07:00

You know, I used to love Spring Break. In my former life when I went to college and was in a sorority and drank a lot of alcohol. I think I must have lived in the 1950s.

In this reincarnation, however, I have apparently moved down a caste. I have descended to the lowly life of a normal human being who does not understand the impulse to give kids a break midway through the year.

You might be thinking to yourself, but you were a TEACHER. Yes. Yes I was. And do you know what I did over spring break? Grade papers and develop curriculum. What part of that sounds like a break?

In honor of this pointless, pagan ritual, I am posting a top ten:

Top Ten Quotes Exemplifying Why I Loathe Spring Break

1. "But, why do we have to go to bed at all if we don't have to get up and go to school?"

2. "Why do we have to do TWO chores" (this would have pulled at my heart strings as I hate chores myself, but honestly, they didn't even do one so no sympathy after all)

3. "OWWWW!!!! STOP HITTING ME!!!!"

4. "Can we watch another movie (after going to the theater)?"

5. "I am bored."

6. "But I finished my book! How can I read any more?"

7. "OWWWW!! CASEY!!!"

8. "Can I eat some more of your really awesome special food that you buy for yourself and I normally don't have access to because I am at school?"

9. "So they canceled all church activities because of Spring Break."

10. "Can we go somewhere?"

Maybe next year I will take the week off and take my kids to Mexico so they can say things like "Estoy aburrido" and "no me toques, Casey!"

Time Warp

2011-04-09T20:14:00.001-07:00

The Happenings

2011-04-04T05:38:00.000-07:00

I haven't much to say--I am leaving for NYC this afternoon and it will be my third week in a row gone. I have to say that I have never felt so at loose ends before.

I love my new place, but I feel like I can't enjoy many of the amenities because I keep leaving. I also had a very depressing moment in Indiana last week when my bff of all time texted me that she was in Utah for her kids' spring break and I was nowhere to be found. It was tragic and I cried in my hotel room. Sadness for me. I guess that means I need to make a trip to Colorado soon.

Steve and I haven't sat down together to do much of anything because of the maximum three-day stretches we have been together for the last 7 weeks.

Meghan's broken leg makes everything hard. I was taking her to the pool during swimming lessons that the older girls had, but those days are over. She can't move herself, but she can demand, loudly, that she be moved, or that other people provide toys for her. Thank goodness for older siblings who have stepped up to the plate nicely. They seem less impatient than I.

I owe a huge thanks to my friend Chellese for getting me started on an exercise routine. We started getting together twice a week to exercise and she introduced me to Tracy Anderson. I couldn't link you to anything else because she is always wearing a bikini in her pics, but her mat workout video is amazing and you can see with her Japanese "pretty women" clip that what she does is really different. I feel like my upper body strength is increasing, evidenced by the fact that I won the Fleming Family Olympics, a new game we started this weekend. More on that in a minute. I have taken to doing strength training 3-4 days a week and though I am not getting svelte, I feel a definitely increase in my overall health, and my back no longer hurts when I travel. Highly recommend Tracy if you don't mind a bit of pop culture and constant reference to how she can make you tiny (not like I am opposed to that goal, but I don't like my daughters hearing that, wish she said "... so that your heart with operate at optimum efficiency and you will feel good inside" but perhaps that motivation is less than the desire to be thin. Oh, evil society pressures.

Fleming Family Olympics--so on Saturday when the kids were fighting and bored (ahem, Conference on Saturdays, tough) I decided we should do an impromptu competition. Here is how it works:

--Each person in the family picks a particular competition.
--You get 30 minutes to "prepare" (so I could clean up the house)
--Bring your stopwatch and your measuring tape so you can assess winners in those categories, along with a pencil and piece of paper to keep track
--Go!!

The activities we prepared:
--Bridget: take a random object from around the house and decorate it with paper and tape. The most creative wins (she judged and therefore could not compete in this one). I of course won because I know how to do something in 6 minutes. I took the Eiffel Tower and added a bunch of monkeys that I cut out from paper. Creative, no?

--Casey: 5 trivia questions. I lost this one because I couldn't remember how many DS games he had or the name of the book he was reading. Bridget won this one.

--Gillian: List as many words that rhyme with ees as possible. Meaning, how many words can you create that end in ees. There was some fighting as we defined rhyming but in the end, I would have won anyway, not really fair competing with kids, but I will take the wins wherever I can.

--Mama: Try to build the tallest tower from blocks. I wish I would have set the timer for this one because Bridget actually made the fastest, tallest building. When her building fell, Casey scooped up her blocks and then spent about 20 more minutes building a really stable foundation. He pointed out that I never said they couldn't use the extra blocks from others and there was no time limit.

We had a great time while Steve was at Priesthood meeting--then on Sunday after Conference, same thing, bored, fighting, etc. so we decided to do round two. This time Steve was involved so we ended up doing some more physical feats--chicken fighting within the taped area on the carpet, wheelbarrow race, and a series of competitions involving the exercise ball.

Everyone went to bed happy, energized, and when we finally did our family prayer and scripture study at the end, there was NO fighting. It was magical. I did lie about winning though, Steve actually beat my on Sunday due to the exercise ball competitions--I don't have the upper body strength to pull off the stuff that he did. I beat my kids though, and that is all that counts.

I am off to NYC this pm of course, my last travel for TWO WHOLE WEEKS, hopefully I will capture some more colorful images of the culture.

Fun and Games

2011-03-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

This afternoon we went to Trampoline ~~Hell~~ Heaven, a place called Jump On It located in Linden. For those unfamiliar with this concept, it is a warehouse full of trampolines tied together. Here are a few images for you to envision little Meg in the "Under 4 Feet" section

And here she is, we had to make a quick stop on the way home from Jump On It, which the nurse referred to as a Death Trap :

And here we are several hours after Jump On It:

When the doctor in the ER saw the x-ray with a broken tibula, he looked at the nurse and asked "Trampoline?"

2011-03-23T11:00:00.001-07:00

View from hotel

2011-03-21T22:34:00.001-07:00

5 Years!

2011-03-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

We lived in Santa Barbara for nearly 5 years. That might not sound like a lot to some people, but we have never lived anywhere more than 3 years in a row up until now, so a large portion of our lives as a family was invested in our paradisaical experience.

I am not as poetic as my friend Katie who did a beautiful post on her departure from Santa Barbara, but I did run across the email that I sent out to people when we first moved there:

Hola a todos!

We are now living in Santa Barbara where Steve has embarked on his final journey towards his Ph.D (religious studies)! I am working from home and travel once a month or so out to North Carolina to work with 5 schools there. Casey and Bridget are happy in school and Gillian hangs around the neighborhood during the day. We live in the family housing and we are renting out our home in Sacramento for the time being.

Life is wonderful and we have been blessed in a million small and big ways.

In trying to be more organized in this new lifestyle (small apartment living and all) I decided that I need to gather together our addresses in one location and realized that we sold our old computer and forgot to get our address book off of the hard drive! So while some people might not care whether or not they ever see us again, we still would like to send

out Christmas cards, etc. to the people that we love the mostest!

Please send us your current information- names and ages of children, address, phone number, email that is better than this one. No one is exempt from this request, even the people who I talked to like, last week, I don't have your addy.

Love to you all and word to your mothers,

Lee Ann, Steve, and Family

It is amazing how I still have all the same shortcomings--losing addresses, writing random words in Spanish, and overuse of parenthesis.

And some things have changed:

Medieval Weapons

2011-03-15T07:16:00.000-07:00

Completed approx.11 pm.

Daylight Savings and Other Offenses

2011-03-13T22:32:00.000-07:00

For the record Daylight Savings is a travesty.

In other news:

1) I love living in Utah. I am shocked to see myself typing it, but I do. There is nothing negative so far, all positives. I repent of previous negativity towards the Beehive State. More on this as I go.

2) I am on my 6th week of Weight Watchers. I have not really lost any weight as far as I know, but since I haven't seen my scale in 4 weeks, hard to tell by just looking. I think I have lost an inch off of my chin so far, and maybe one around my waist but much slower than expected. I do feel excellent however. My diet has switched from predominately whole grains to predominately vegetable and fruits. I have no idea how it happened like that, but I will probably never go back. My favorite recipe:

2 eggs
sauteed bell pepper
cayenne
nutmeg
laughing cow cheese wedge

So yummy. I cannot tell you enough how much I love that recipe. My second favorite recipe:

blueberries
strawberries
pineapple
banana

I do feel guilty that half of this stuff is shipped from Costa Rica, but I decided to choose me over the planet. So sorry Michael Polland, the situation was getting out of control.

3) My in-laws invited me to Austria/Budapest. I am short on time but feel like I should go for it. I know the me of a few years ago would consider it idiotic to skip out, but for now the time commitment sounds like too much.

4) My son created this in google sketch up for a castle project. He was supposed to build it with cardboard or sugar cubes or something but I am done with that kind of business so I emailed and said "hey could he like, do this in google sketchup or something?" So hours and hours later, after trying to free the monster I created by suggesting it, my son came up with this:

Here is the top view:

It may not look like much to you, but sketch-up is a bit tricky and requires some really good design-thinking stuff. Did I say I was proud of him? Anyway, he turns it in on Tuesday, I am excited to see how it went (although the bar was low, create some diorama and then label five parts).

5) BYU ranked 3rd. I know that I don't usually reference sports around here, but moving to Utah has brought a few things to the forefront (like my son suddenly hates the Utes for no apparent reason and my daughter claims to be a Jazz fan now. Must be the bad influence of kids at school.) Anyway, I have to say that it has been more than interesting to hear everyone's take on the Honor Code. I actually appreciate ESPN's support of the integrity of our program and our willingness to enforce the Honor Code even when it is a hard choice to make. I am proud of BYU taking a stand (unlike the time when they had Dick Cheney as a keynote at graduation) and I appreciate being associated with a school that stands by a value system in a way that shocks the rest of the nation (a direct quote from an interview last week "Isn't this standard just unrealistic? I mean, look at this first thing on the honor code, be honest--most coaches couldn't even live up to that one." ) Someone recently said to me "Wait, so you REMEMBER college?" I had to tell him that it was not the first time I had heard the joke before and that I look forward to more innovative jokes in the future.

New situations

2011-03-08T20:32:00.000-08:00

It has been nearly five years since moving and I have forgotten that making friends is kind of an effort. So much effort sometimes because I just don't have the patience to wait it out and let the friendships naturally happen.

I blame Tiffany because it took me approximately 5 days to find her at *DT. We were born to be friends you know--and I have been impatient ever since. She did give me some sage advice this afternoon to "drop this obsession with trying to make friends everywhere you go" which I will always treasure as comforting words from my BFF.

I also remember Krissie whom I met before she was even in our ward and ten seconds later knew she was my kind of friend--so that doesn't help me wait it out.

Come to think of it, many whom I met when I first moved to Santa Barbara were people who I could relate to immediately because we were in a similar situation.

Yet at playgroup this last week in my new ward when a girl told me that she and her family were in "my same situation" because they lived with their in-laws, I wanted to say HEY I AM NOT IN A SITUATION. But I need a friend so maybe I need to consider my situation the similar bonding material of graduate school lifestyle.

Fortunately I had lunch with the ever lovely Chellese who raised my spirits today and has committed to mandatory friendship time twice weekly. Thank you again for saving me from my self-imposed constraints.

And right when I am sitting in front of my computer alone at night wondering if I will even make any friends at all, I recall my best freighbor of all time and how long it took us to find each other when she was right there all along. I still sometimes cry over the lost time we could have had mocking reality tv show contestants. And if I am patient, somewhere in this new life is a Katie hiding out.

I just need some good pick-up lines to sort her from the chaff so any advice on friend-making tips is welcome here.

*RIP

Togetherness

2011-03-01T05:41:00.000-08:00

Since you asked, here is an explanation of why our family is apart until the end of March:

1) We originally planned on leaving in December but had that opportunity for Steve to TA instead (blogged about it in December but too lazy to find the link)

2) We were going to stay as a family but a number of things cropped up for us. Most prominently, we lost our carpool family and it became a fairly big headache to try to operate business as usual on that schedule

3) Steve's parents were leaving on the 24th of February and I wanted to have the kids spend at least a couple of days with them before they left for their trip (I also wanted to have some time to discuss the house, agreements on use of space, etc.)

4) What was once a very enjoyable experience at the kids' school was a pretty bad situation for my kids. Bridget's group of friends almost entirely disappeared (7 of her friends left her class from the beginning of last year until the carpool friend, who was her best, closest friend), Casey was really unhappy with school (the kids were really mean to each other and the teacher and I don't have the same values) and I felt like I had to bribe them to get out of bed everyday.

5) The school really lost the interesting and unique edge that it had and simply became a low performing school. The last week of school they had posted their API goal (for those outside of California, that is the number that summarizes how you did on your state tests) on every door in the classroom and were trying to get the kids excited about test scores. I don't care if that is an effective method of bumping up a few points, who wants to be at a school whose goal is to increase their test scores? After sacrificing an entire year of our family time for the school, it was tough to see that the way they were implementing the plans I helped write in a way that was so contrary to their original purpose. I am not angry or disappointed, I just can't watch it. If my kids had been happy we would have stayed but since it was such drudgery to them (at least the oldest two) I couldn't really find it in myself to say "no, really kids, things are great!"

6) Steve really needs some time to get a good start on his dissertation. Between driving the kids to school on the days he wasn't teaching, and trying to manage the household while I am working, he was getting very little time.

7) I have an increased number of conference calls these days and getting a place where there are no kid sounds in the background in a small apartment is almost impossible.

8) Trying to move and also keep clean a two-bedroom apartment with 4 kids in it= muy malo.

So... did we improve our lifestyle by making the move?

New Commute= 7 minutes WITH traffic. Niiice. Not to mention that school starts at 8:15, 15 minutes later than school started there. Double nice. We have a garage to mitigate some of the effects of living in a cold climate= triple the happiness.

Grandparent Time= wonderful. We got to spend a nice couple of days with grandma and grandpa and it was genuinely fantastic. We were able to have a good conversation about expectations for the house and use of space and hang out with the family in general.

School Experience= In spite of a bumpy first day registration, the kids are glowingly happy with school. They come home every day reporting how nice the kids are to each other. There is no bullying at their school, the kids don't use bad language, they share stuff on the playground, they accepted my children as peers immediately, and the school is not low performing. The school is not particularly innovative and the level of Spanish is decidedly low rigor (Bridget brought home some homework with pictures of farm animals asking if they were *ciudad or campo which is something that she would have done in Kinder in our previous school) but at least they are getting Spanish at all. The teachers send me an email on Fridays with updates for the week, everyone there is really friendly. Even the secretaries after day one have been decidedly NICE. No one has a hard time getting out of bed and they are all happy to go to school because it is FUN. Imagine. Learning is fun.

Steve= This has been the one serious downside. I really underestimated the impact of missing my husband like this. We have been apart off and on during our marriage but this is different. With lifestyle changes like we are experiencing, I want to discuss with him every little detail of the day. I think he is spared some really boring conversations with me, but I am just lonely for his company. This is his culture, the land of his birth, and I feel like a foreigner seeing things through eyes of an emigrant. I know it sounds funny, but all of our visits here and living here when younger were not real. I never opened a bank account here or needed to get a Utah driver's license. In terms of his productivity, only he can say. Is that working for you? I hope that he is getting a lot done though he is doing all the moving (totally huge fringe benefit for me.)

Home Life= Oh. My. What a difference square footage makes. Don't let anyone tell you differently. With JUST the downstairs area, I feel like I live in a palace. The space is unbelievable and my kids seem to have a ton more to do with just a little more space. Fighting still occurs, but over the rules of games and rough housing, not space or toys. When I have a call, I can walk in the next room and barely hear my children as they beat each other! I won't go on and on about the benefits of living in this place but know that I am happy on that end.

It was the right thing to move here. In spite of the temporary pain of separation, this was definitely a good decision for my children and ultimately, for me.

Vote for Steve!

2011-02-27T21:18:00.000-08:00

In case you are wondering why we are not together, it is because Steve has to have some time for his illustrious blogging career.

So... run on over and vote for Steve now.

In order to protect the integrity of the voting, please read a post or two of his first so that it won't be like sending a bunch of pirates to autovote.

Much thanks.

Reflections at week 1

2011-02-26T21:38:00.000-08:00

Cheers

--Chellese. Highlight of my week, I have not followed up to let you know how deeply I appreciate the facetime even if short.
--More square footage. MORE SQUARE FOOTAGE.
--Amenities like dishwasher, washer, dryer, and cable TV.
--Family. Living with my sis and bro-in-law has been really wonderful--like coming home or something.
--New people to get to know at church and at school.
--Hanging out with my kids all the time.
--Savers.
--Target.
--Seeing friends in all directions that we have known for a long time. I have a list to get through but it feels safe and secure knowing how many friends there are around.
--Snow. Beautiful.
--So many Mormons!

Jeers

--Cold. So cold that you just don't want to go places.
--Not knowing anyone on my daily pathway.
--Moving sans husband. Very. Sad. Idea.
--Dry hands. I have to lather on the lotion and it still isn't enough.
--Spending money on "start up" stuff like food basics
--Figuring out how to get new bank account and transfer over all those automatic payments, UGH.
--So many Mormons!

I miss Steve, love my kids, and have really enjoyed the family-friendly status of Utah. I could live here and like it. I just really need to get friends on my daily routine because I keep trying to make all casual encounters with the checkout people at grocery stores more meaningful. Someone please save me from myself.

Welcome to Utah pt II

2011-02-25T14:52:00.001-08:00

And this was the MINI size.

Welcome to Utah!

2011-02-24T07:36:00.000-08:00

Retraction

2011-02-22T20:43:00.000-08:00

Okay not really a full retraction, but I have to say two things happened today:

1) K. Cook leaving a very wise comment about our old stomping ground and remembering back to the days that I was really upset at the kids school prior to going through major upheaval with them. And when I left, I cried for real. So the wisdom of perspective was useful, thanks chica!

2) I got a phone call from the school secretary #1 apologizing for this morning and explaining that it was hectic.

I think I overreacted because I am by myself with the kids and that is getting super old. I miss Steve for a million other reasons too.

The other reason I overreacted is because there are two full tracks at this school! I am a small school girl, not a fiddy bejillion kid school girl.

The up news? One of the kids is going to have Alpine School District teacher of the year!

Very exciting and thanks for being my friend and putting up with my rants. You were very helpful.

So, in the immortal words of my bff, "I am reserving judgement" for now.

Shame On Me

2011-02-22T10:10:00.000-08:00

Public Education system, why do I continue to believe in you?

This is hardly worth blogging and is boring yet infuriating so I am capturing it.

I foolishly overestimated the system once again, shame. on. me.

Background--in October I called and secured permission from the principal (herein, "the man") for the kids to enter into the bilingual program at local elementary school x (herein "the place") and he said yes of course and there would be no issues. They are the closest bilingual program with room in it.

I called again last week and spoke with a secretary at the place and she talked to the man who said it should be fine. She told me to bring an "out of area" transfer form signed by the principal at our local elementary school. She also said that if I had all the correct paperwork they should be able to start right away ...so I got up this morning, packed lunch for everyone, had a lovely breakfast and hair-fixing experience and then rounded up all four kids to take them to local elementary school for said signature.

Which was signed quickly and efficiently by a lovely principal who was kind and his super friendly secretary who lamented that we would not be able to attend the school. End of pleasant school experience.

We arrived at the place with paperwork in hand and secretary #1 (not the one I spoke with last week who was conveniently out today) said that I had a ton of paperwork and the kids could not start school until tomorrow. I handed over all proper forms, filled out several more useless pieces of paper and all the while the man is walking in and out. Does he greet me? No. Does he acknowledge my existence? No.

So after making a few comments about how I am here by myself and that I was awake 24 hours in a row to arrive here (I had to try it, okay? Don't judge) and that my kids had a lot of anxiety about starting school, finally I realize they are not going to budge and so I say "I don't really know anything about the school, can you tell me a little about the program?" They have no information to tell me, don't give me any facts about the community, and neither secretary #1 nor #2 was clear on how the program worked. When I asked a specific question, they tell me it isn't a full immersion program, but a dual immersion where they speak Spanish, and then English and the native speakers help each other. What the...?? Should I have pulled out my credentials on writing a charter? Cuz I didn't. I am trying to make them like me and my first impressions I leave are super bad.

I did, however, suggest that my kids have been in a program since kinder and I would like to make sure that they are placed with native Spanish speakers and then secretary #2 pipes in that the Spanish strand is already overcrowded, they need to see some test scores (!!!!!!!!!!) to make sure my kids are actually good enough in Spanish and that the principal had to approve them getting into the program. I am starting to get frustrated and teary-eyed at this point (did I mention Meg was being super tired and whiny?) and say "well, I spoke to the man--I assume that is HIM that keeps walking in and out of here?? Anyway he already approved this twice in October, and then last week. If they are not getting into the Spanish strand I am just going to stick with the local school. I am here by myself and I have a full-time job and I need to know what OTHER hoops I am going to have to jump through to have them ready by tomorrow, can you please tell me that?" While I am making this pretty little speech, the man walks by and hands secretary #1 a form and after secretary #2 responds by saying we will have to see, secretary #1 says "he already handed me your approval, your kids can start school in the morning."

!!!

So we went to Savers, Good Earth, and now I am going to run off to get Gillian a haircut.

Friends, I love and trust you, can you tell me if I am being crazy? Has my experience jilted me? Is it weird that I am annoyed by this? Tell me that my perception that the school administration does not communicate is totally reactionary and that it is normal that no one would tell me anything. Tell it to me straight, like a good friend would.

Take care of this guy

2011-02-19T17:35:00.000-08:00

...while we are apart

2011-02-19T02:23:00.001-08:00

Farewell food.

This n That

2011-02-14T08:20:00.000-08:00

I have a great post dedicated to myself in my head but first I need to clear off my photos from my phone.

First, since she refuses to update her own blog, a couple of blurries from a divine breakfast we had on a long layover on my last trip to the East Coast. I need more trips there so I can layover in DC. I was going to buy them breakfast but they showed up with their own donuts. So much for the cinnabon they could have had.

I mean, look at the boy's hair? I didn't realize he was going to be so blonde!

And I left this one in so you can see a very teensy pic of that gorgeous curly-haired girl in the background...

Then of course, the two of us, bffing it up in the airport:

It was wonderful, I mean really truly wonderful to see Katie. Some people your DNA requires that you see on a regular basis to be happy inside--there was just a little lighter step in my walk for the rest of the weekend.

Next, obligatory V-day cookies. I actually made two big batches yesterday and thanks to Lisa for helping get the frosting on these little beauties. Why did I make cookies you ask?

1) To support the "no sugar" policy in classroom parties

2) Because this is our last week at school

3) Because who can resist soft heart-shaped cookies?

The problem is, once you have three school-aged children it turns into a major ordeal.

Especially when kid #1 says "How about the cookies ARE my Valentines? We can just put their names on the cookies?"

He hates making Valentines.

I forgot to grab a picture of the cute little homemade valentines that the kids made though, maybe later today.

Maturation

2011-02-10T06:35:00.000-08:00

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Dear goodreads friends I met at Borders/new girl at church/facebook friend/neighbor/parent at kids school/Paris,

I am no longer the friendly person that I once was. I used to love to invite people over for dinner and in fact have had epic arguments with my husband about how much time to spend with people who aren't my closest friends. I have always enjoyed spending time with people and for some reason I have always gained energy from being with others--the more the merrier.

Now, I am totally saturated with keeping my kids entertained/working with their school/fixing our computer for them/cleaning my home/moving/national school reform/facebook/staying on top of my finances/maintaining a relationship with those who do care enough to call or email me periodically/playing angry birds with my son/helping make valentines .

As my kids get older they are more fun to be around/want to talk more/more interested in learning/more needy/more angry and I find that they are taking over my social life/fun time/vacation interests/movie choices and I actually LIKE it.

What has happened to me that my favorite people to hang out with are my children? When did I get to the point that the people who give me the most energy are the fruit of my loins?

I finally understand my bff/favorite former freighbor/visiting teachee/friends, who never seemed worried about needing new friends, and why they love their families soo much.

Does this mean I am aging? Have I outgrown the days of wanting to travel abroad/spend time with friends so much that I was willing to leave my children behind? Is this a happy/unhappy side effect of the travel that I do for work?

I apologize that when we talk the only thing I have to say is about schools or my children. But for me, what else is there?

I am wondering if this is a phase or if I am going to be sad and lonely in 4 years when my son gets his driver's license (which, incidentally is not going to be treated like a thing he has to earn, he is getting that sucker on his 16th birthday and he is going to drive everyone everywhere) and will look around and see I don't have any friends left?

I am not happy about this. I want to go to Europe/throw parties/have you over for Sunday dinner/make new friends/keep the old/have a girls night out weekly. But instead I find myself browsing redbox to see what movie my kids would like/planning fancy breakfast treats for fun/volunteering to teach in their classes/making entire family decisions based on their happiness.

I remember this quote from Thomas S. Monson (quoting Ann Campbell) about a mother's view of her children:

You are the trip I did not take;

You are the pearls I cannot buy;

You are my blue Italian lake;

You are my piece of foreign sky.

When I first heard this quote I always thought that it was a sense of sacrifice--that I raised children instead of the travel and luxury of life so they should be thankful.

Now I see that this poem is really about the fact that being with my children is what give me the deepest satisfaction.

But when I do need you again, when I find myself in a phase where I am not utterly consumed by motherhood, will you be there for me? Will I forget how to make new friends? Will I recognize myself when I only want to see my existing friends?

Until then, just know that I fantasize about being my old self, about the kinds of foods I would serve you, the conversations we might have and the books we would talk about. It isn't you, it's me.

Sincerely,

Overbooked

*I am writing this post so that when I find myself friendless and alone in Utah, I will remember that there was a time that I felt that my family was enough.

Schedule update

2011-02-04T20:31:00.000-08:00

Thursday: Santa Barbara--Phoenix--Indianapolis--DC--Albany
Saturday: Albany--DC--Raleigh
Wednesday: Raleigh--Phoenix--Santa Barbara
Thursday: Looking at student work after school with kids teachers
Friday: Some commitment, can't remember what (Lisa/Steve maybe?)
Saturday: Dinner with friend, possibly movie
Sunday: Teach RS
Monday: Birthday
Tuesday: Farewell Fiesta
Thursday-Friday: NYC
Saturday: Move to Utah

Rhetorical Question?

2011-01-31T23:14:00.000-08:00

Teacher, last ten minutes of class today:

Please stop talking! We are going to play this music now to try to get you all calmed down at the end of the day and you need to listen to it. Or would you rather go outside?

Gillian: I want to go outside.

Teacher: Fine, go outside!

Gillian: Wanders around/goes to the bathroom (depending on who you ask)

Teacher: You will lose recess tomorrow.

After school when the teacher was telling me this information (side note, this is not her normal teacher but a Title I reading teacher who comes in to help get the classroom under control) I made a big deal about how Gillian was going to be better tomorrow in class, etc.

But in the car on the way home, I started thinking about it--if you ask a 6 year old if they would rather go outside and you expect them to say that no, they would rather stay inside... well, isn't that weird?

So then Gillian asked me what she should have said and I was perplexed. What are the options here?

1) Lie because that is what adults want to hear.

2) Say "Is that rhetorical?"

3) Say nothing, sit quietly and don't answer the teacher's questions

What would you tell your child?

1/100th of a cent

2011-01-28T13:16:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we went to the Magical Kingdom for what was perhaps my last visit as a Southern California Resident (plus our pass expires February 10th). As I inadvertently left my phone in the car, and then when I realized it decided to savor the day free of my leash to my workaholism, I decided to spend the day low-tech.

This had tremendous emotional, physical, and spiritual benefits.

The one downside, however, is that without my phone I had no way to capture the moments that I will treasure for many years. In the spirit of family history I must record them here at the value of 1/100 of a cent compared to the pictures that would have captured them so nicely.

Moment #1

All four of our children have finally gotten to the point where they treat Disneyland like a park. They wanted to just stop and watch the ducks play together in the lagoon between the Mark Twain boat ride and Tom Sawyer's/Pirate's Island. Since they were so engaged together, we decided to run off and ride Thunder Mountain. Since it was one of those wonderfully low attended days, we got on and off the ride within 15 minutes. When we returned, the children had decided to pillage my homemade lemon bread and feed it to the birds. They claimed to like the bread but I believe they found the ducks liked it better than the chocolate chip cookies.

Moment #2

I went on a couple of rides with my two eldest who have decided the sole purpose of the ride lines is to poke at each other, and yell loudly "stop it!" (Casey doing the former, Bridget doing the latter) After one full line of arguing I threatened them with a variety of measures including refusal to sit with them on the rides. This held teeth for my second line with them where I wised up and, for Space Mountain they were excellent for the 10 minute line. However, when we got to the end of the ride, they began to argue about who was better behaved and wanted me to pick who I was going to ride with. I told them to work it out and as there was not time, Bridget somehow finagled herself to get in the row with me and as we were getting onto the ride, Casey was super mad at her to the point that he tried to climb over the back of the cart. He was not successful and as he realized the futility, he sat down angrily. He hit her a few times as he was seated right behind her and as we were heading into the darkness, she started to whine that he was hitting her. Fortunately the ride whips around so fast (so fun!) that I think Casey was too afraid. When we were heading up a steep incline, however, at the very top I heard Bridget cry out in pain. I tried to block out my children and enjoy the rest of the ride but when we got off the ride to see the pictures taken, I was infuriated:

In the picture, Casey was leaning forward pulling his sister's hair.

While fuming internally, the only thought that came to mind was if only I had my camera.

There were several other moments of wrestling children, fighting in line, etc. but when I was on California Screaming, towards the end of the night, I had only one thought as I careened down the ride losing my stomach:

If I died right now, it would be loving my family more than I ever thought possible.

Thanks Walt, it was a tremendous day.

What I Ate

2011-01-26T14:37:00.001-08:00

Exotic Food

2011-01-26T09:47:00.000-08:00

I ate this:

Bear Parenting

2011-01-24T08:37:00.000-08:00

"I used to have four theories about raising children. Now I have four children, and no theories."

--Bill Moyers

I first heard about Tiger Parenting last week when Steve came home from a post-TA debrief session with his prof and another grad student.

I heard about it again this weekend when a friend of mine shared how excited some of the upper class of Santa Barbara are with this acknowledgment of how lazy Americans are in our parenting style.

So I had to do a little research myself to find out about this Tiger Parenting.

Amy Chua is apparently the author of the book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother which is basically the antithesis of everything I believe about good parenting--at a glance at least. I have not read the book and I plan to do so to prove myself either wrong or right, but from what I have read here is the premise:

Americans are lazy (true but useless information)
Chinese mothers are superior because their children are performing at astronomically better rates in both academic and musical achievement
Children must be taught that they should never be satisfied with the fruits of their labor or they will become lazy and unambitious
Parents have the right to call their children a piece of garbage because it is motivational and effective

I am less disturbed by this theory of parenting (perhaps because I have seen the effects of it and thought it was a dying breed) than I am by what feels like an overwhelmingly positive response to it online. Many people have come out and said "Finally! A book that speaks to me!" When I looked it up on Amazon, it only received 3 stars which is undoubtedly a flat combination of the haters and those who see it as a manual on how to raise successful children.

I do not, however, wish to decry this method of parenting. Though I personally find it distasteful and a violation of my spiritual belief that children are our equals in spirit whose care has been entrusted to us to teach them to be able to choose right from wrong on their own, I think that many believe happiness is something different than my own definition.

My definition of happiness: Feeling fulfilled by the choices you make and being motivated to grow and learn about what you do with your time, which hopefully you love.

Tiger Parenting definition of happiness: Being the top of your field.

I do believe that I could have been a great musician/lawyer/orator (though not an athlete maybe) if I started at a young age with Tiger parents--but would I have found the passion that I now have for education? Would I have retained what my mother referred to as "a happiness gene" ?? Would I have ended up married to someone who I love specifically because he is unconventional and ignores societal norms?

When Steve first told me about this theory, he told me that the grad student who was talking about this said he was going to come up with his new parenting approach and he was going to call it Bear Parenting.

I like it. Bear parenting--love your cubs and chase down anyone who gets in your way of the honey.

Ah Gardena, my old foe

2011-01-19T21:51:00.000-08:00

Come back in time with me to 1999.

No pics.

Casey was 9 months old and I had recently decided to start substitute teaching in Los Angeles. Steve was teaching and out of sheer boredom I decided to sub a few days a week for extra cash. $160 a day to be exact.

I attended a two-day substitute teacher training where I met a lot of out-of-work actors whose main goal was to be effective enough in the classroom to be requested as a long-term sub so they could earn $195/day.

I failed the two-day institute because the actors were all much better at the practice scenarios. In fact at one point, one of the actors turned to me and said "You know what? Don't actually do that with kids in a classroom" while I was acting out what I would do if a pager went off during class. Fortunately, all they needed at that time was a warm body so they let me sub anyway. My first day that I called the sub system I excitedly put on my shiny shoes, got my "cool substitute teacher" kit together and showed up to change the world.

At Gardena High School.

In a drama class.

In which the teacher had already used her entire sick leave and was now taking unpaid leave because she had some kind of nervous breakdown during class and had stopped leaving lesson plans.

The classes were comprised of almost entirely females and I was woefully unprepared to handle cultural differences of city kids as compared with my own small--town mountain upbringing. Some of the moments that I haven't completely blocked out:

I asked a student to go to the office to take care of what I was certain was a dress code violation but she refused. What do you do when you ask someone to do something and they ignore you?
I asked the class to open the book and start reading a play--let's act it out! So a few participated while the rest of the students milled about, ignoring my instructions
A girl got up and left class and when I followed her she told me she was going to call her grandmother. I suggested she go to the office but she ignored me.

Are you getting the picture here? So after a terrible, embarrassing, and humbling day, I decided never to return to Gardena High School. I appreciated the opportunity to practice my teaching skills with kids who would never see my face again and ran with my tail tucked between my legs.

I got much better at managing groups of kids after practicing at several high schools and middle schools but never got the courage to return to Gardena.

Looks like fear is still striking hearts at Gardena after 10 years:

Officials' reassurances fail to calm Gardena High School parents

Better Living Through Chemistry

2011-01-18T09:36:00.000-08:00

I made a decision two weeks ago to stop using harsh chemicals in my shampoo. I haven't decided if it was a good decision or not, but it seems nice to use more natural things in my hair. The price is the same, if not a little less, than what I usually use... but my new shampoos don't contain Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, which is apparently the shampoo equivalent of HFCS--cheap and widely used. They also don't contain parabens which are a preservative that act like estrogen. Oh and alcohol, a drying agent?

Anyway so this is what I ended up with:

My hair always smells like lavender and I feel good about not damaging my hair, etc... BUT my hair does not feel as good as when I use these products

which I discovered at a hotel in downtown NYC. I ordered a set from Amazon right after my stay because a week of using the little sample sizes and I was enamored. BUT they arrived too late and I had already decided to go au naturale, baby.

What would you do? Natural? Or Chemical?

Our routines

2011-01-12T19:32:00.001-08:00

In Our Lovely Desert

2011-01-06T07:49:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe it has happened, but I have actually grown weary of living in paradise. For those who live in Santa Barbara, it may come as a surprise to you because, well, how can one tire of a place like this?

Well, news flash, it is not the town, it is the place where I spend the majority of my day working, eating, breathing, sleeping, and loving my family that is causing my consternation.

Currently I can do neither. Every little thing I try to do causes me deep frustration:

Towels do not dry in this climate so after a shower, with limited space to hang your towel, chances are about 90% that just hanging it on the rack is going to yield a damp towel tomorrow. Yuck and yuck.
No dishwasher= limited counter top space in an already teensy apartment
No place to put my purse so it ends up on the floor, oft times falling victim to a passer-by toddler
We have recently started a new daily exercise routine--this has been wonderful and since our chore routine has worked fairly effectively, the routine seems to come naturally and is fun. The girls and I had a great time trying to follow an aerobics clip, but there was only about 4 square feet to share for three people. It was tough not to punch my children while trying to do this potentially wonderful bonding activity.
Knives are hung up on a handy little IKEA magnet strip hanging on the wall due to shortage of drawer and counter space, but I have a few more that don't fit so they go, along with my awesome microplane grater, high above reach. My reach.
Books, books everywhere and ne'er a space on the bookshelf to be found--so when I want to loan out a book, nay determine if I still even have a book? I have to look behind books--who has double book rows? We do.
My office space is semi-packed up so now I am working off of my futon which is sadly tough on the back.
No place to put my new fitness hula hoop
Can't find spices that I know are there because they are all crammed into my only food cabinet.
Cannot reach my recipe books or most food items because they are in the pantry behind an old changing table that currently serves as storage for other items.

So needless to say, I am actually ready to move to Utah, in spite of some climate disadvantages... because my daily moments should naturally become more enjoyable. At least that is the hope. If anyone wants to give us a free place to live in THIS climate, of course we are open to that. We only need about 2K square feet, we aren't picky.

BUT lest ye think that I am in despair, I am not! I still love it here, I am just ready to move on to the bigger and broader world where my towels can dry and I can locate my spices in a second. And how do I keep up this peppy 'tude? Why, the new exercise routine!

It goes like this: Pick something from each row on our chart (cardio, 15 minutes, upper body, 10 x 3 reps, core 10 x 3 reps) I find the adrenaline very helpful, particularly if we get it going right before dinner, the time I am most likely to be frustrated. Last night this guy waylaid my frustration:

Get fit with Micah

Droid Review Part Deux

2011-01-05T21:16:00.000-08:00

As I specifically mentioned it in my Christmas letter, I thought I would reread my review of the HTC Incredible vs. Iphone and decided to provide an update. You are welcome iphonies.

I recently helped my MIL program her Iphone and nostalgia washed over me in remembrance of a different era... and I realized that pleasurable usability is Apples piece de resistance. Other notes:

Droid offers....

Turn-by-turn directions from the maps app--no fee, no extra app, no programming, just straight up gps, garmin-like directions (the new update includes a google-earth style tilt)
Flash (no fight with adobe here)
A lot more free apps (Angry Birds free version has at least 10 levels--since I am there now)
Open home--you can design the phone to look however you want it to look without doing anything that will violate your contract
Haptic feedback
Better stock ringtones and alarm tones
VERIZON (rarely, I mean rarely dropped calls)
No accidental calls (aka butt calls)
Micro SD allows you to pick your own storage amount

There are some other things that are better but Iphone 4 + new operating system might have caught up in the last 6 months so I don't want to assume but just in case:

Facebook app allows you to scroll the photos across the bottom and you can see the status updates above without being bogged down by a bunch of lame photos
Quick access to my settings from the menu at any time
Notifications at the top of the screen that you can pull down at any time
8 megapixel camera complete with pretty solid flash camera

Iphone still reigns in:

Touch navigation. Droid is good, but iphone has that dialed in but good
Overall design and curviness
WAY better accessories in general--cases for the droid you can count on one hand--you can't even count the varieties of screen protectors for the iphone on one hand
Better paid apps (like lets create pottery for crying out loud)
When you navigate back to the home screen it closes the app (that might have changed somewhat, please chime in) whereas the Droid can have five hundred apps open that you didn't realize were draining your battery. App killer is hit and miss, you just have to back out of everything a million times.
Text messages that show up on the face of your phone. This is my holy grail on the droid--can't figure out how to do this and I really need that to occur
Full synchronization with Itunes, essential for keeping a low effort updated music library

In summary:

If you travel and work like I do and need it to be reliable for professional productivity including long conference calls, go with a droid

If you want a really fun phone to blog, email, play games with your friends on the go and accessorize, go with the Iphone.

I hear a new rumor everyday that iphone is going verizon but I have been hearing that for two years to no avail. That is NOT happening, sorry to say, so for now, you still have to decide.

Resolución

2011-01-02T21:10:00.000-08:00

I would rather revolución but it is the time of year that people are supposed to commit to goals that they will never actually reach but seem worthy in any case.

There were a decent number of people at church today who came for the first time, or the first time in awhile--resolution to be more devout!

The gyms know that now is the prime time to sucker someone into a new membership--resolution to get in shape!

Across America kitchens emptied from the recent holiday binging are now stocked with whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and lean meats--resolution to eat healthier!

I too wish to be devouter, fitter, and healthier. Who doesn't? Even an atheist wishes to be a more devout non-believer.

But to those of you wishing to change your current behavior, I have some sad news for you. According to this article a colleague sent me called Change or Die only 1 in 9 people change their behavior when their doctor tells them that they will literally die if they do not.

How do you like those odds? 9 to 1? And what if you are not going to die, what if your motivation is less extreme, then what? Are those odds any better than those against Santa's Little Helper?

Lest you think that I am starting the new year with a negative edge, let me help everyone out there who wants to do something new, those of you who want to exercise your right to a Big Hairy Audacious Goal.

According to Dan and Chip Heath, you CAN change. How?

1) Find the bright stops--who used to be as unfit as you and then got fit? Don't ask someone who has always been able to do what you want to do, ask someone who couldn't and then did.

2) Script your exact plans--you can't just put"go to the gym" on your to do list, you have to say "go to the gym at 9 am on MWF after putting laundry in the washing machine." The more specific your plans (including something before it that you already do) the more you are likely to make this thing come to pass.

3) Find some data that will make you realize what a horrible, terrible loser you will be if you don't make the change. If your goal is to spend less money, find a picture of yourself at age 95 renting a small apartment where your hospice bed can barely fit in the room with the oxygen tank. If your goal is to eat healthier, find an image of a heart surrounded by blocked arteries. Something with a disturbing image--if you want to stop smoking, see if you can pick up a pack of these Brazilian packs (warning, graphic images of negative effects of smoking) that have been extremely effective in reducing smoking.

4) Tweak your environment. If you feel like you are watching too much TV, then move your TV to another room, or take your coach and face another direction. Moving things that prevent you from backsliding is effective.

Okay so now that I have made these suggestions, here is a real list of things that I hope to accomplish this year:

1) Try not to buy any new items from the store--buy stuff only from Craigslist or KSL (when we move of course!) This was inspired by my talented friend Katie who reminded me that creative ideas and investment of time can make a more beautiful and meaningful existence.

2) Reduce the amount of food I eat overall. I am not sure what tactic I am going to use but probably going with a checkin time of 1 pm on dailyplate to get myself at least tracking how much I am eating. I will let you know in two months if I did it successfully or not.

3) Eliminate all travel during church whenever I have control over my schedule. This could cause a ripple in my schedule, but I have committed to being here with my family and only making an exception if I am attending a conference or other event that someone else scheduled. I am starting with that commitment next week leaving at 6 pm for my next travel instance.

I have some other regular dailies, but these are my three big ones. Wish me luck!

Christmas Updates

2010-12-29T08:05:00.000-08:00

My family...

I truly enjoy my children. I have gotten to an age in life where the gifts I receive seem meaningless compared to the ones I give. I still love stuff, I an not any less materialistic, I just prefer to buy whatever I want and then focus on overspending on my children.

Some of the highlights this year:

Casey didn't complain about his gifts and said it was his best Christmas ever. Compared to other years in which he threw himself on the ground crying over receiving books, this is a big deal.
Bridget as usual loved every gift she got and was excited over the smallest thing. She just loves to be excited and also loves to scream things at her little sister over property ownership (which has been in full force for everyone this year).
Gillian has taken her brother's place as the eternally unsatisfied. As we have already been through this with Casey, I am hopeful that it is a phase. She has, however, been very sweet with her Baby Alive Doll. Which, btw, is an annoying gift because it actually wets diapers and apparently you have to buy a diaper refill kit. No WAY am I shelling out a single dime for fake diapers when we still are buying them for Megs.
Megs... poor little Meg, who honestly continues to be the most delectable little girl... looked like this for the majority of the holiday--she threw up anytime she got anything in her system and she didn't ever even open her presents. We were looking forward to seeing her yumminess and excitement in opening those presents, but it literally never happened. Finally toward the end of the day, Gillian volunteered to open up the presents on her behalf so we never saw it happen.

Megs, looking like this:

I myself was highly satisfied with the gifts I received and intend on spending some more dollahs in after Christmas sales.

I hope your giving and receiving was as enjoyable.

Nueva York

2010-12-24T08:57:00.000-08:00

In case you missed it, I had a great opportunity to last minute head to NYC for a work thing. It was awesome.

I won't go into detail about the actual work part, but the touristy part, now that was amazing.

We were working from 8-6:30 on the first day and by the time we were finished with dinner and debriefing it was 9:00 pm. Considering the fact that my flight was delayed coming in to NY the night before and I didn't get to sleep until 2:30 AM, I was wiped out.

BUT, not to be daunted, I did play the tourist bit until around 11:30 or so. My previous post was of the outside of Saks 5th Avenue and their really cool bubbles and snowflakes digital wonderland.

A few other pics that really don't even capture the amazement of the city:

The Tiffany's window display after hours:

I took a gazillion pics of all the cool window displays done up for the holidays:

And of course, the most awesome entrance into an Apple store ever. The real estate of the window front alone must be astronomical. The store inside is just like any other Apple store only bigger. You see the artistry of the Apple in the Big Apple, right?

More lights--the stores all just try to outdo each other...

I won't bore you with more, but honestly, if I had even the slightest chance of getting my husband to agree to it, I would totally be down with living there for the next stint.

I suppose Utah is alluring.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2010-12-21T04:50:00.000-08:00

Turn it sideways. Sorry, lame PC.

Gratitude Part II

2010-12-17T08:49:00.000-08:00

Wednesday I had to be in Los Angeles to support a school. It was one of those Savage Inequalities moments in which the most amazing teachers were trying to fundamentally change the culture of at-risk students and all the world has to offer them is a set of dilapidated buildings and crappy technology. While my heart was breaking for them, I am pretty hopeful the kids are going to get the heck out of that place because the right people are there to make a difference for them.

So Steve decided to make a Disney date and come down with the kids to meet me in Anaheim after work.

It was one of my "work perk" moments in which I felt that, even though I missed Casey's karate test (1000 punches and 1000 kicks!) and singing during winter program for Gillian and Bridget, and watching Meg while Steve helped the cub scouts cut out their derby cars, I did my best to leverage my work benefits to buy their love.

Thank you Hilton Honors, for the opportunity to use free points to stay in a double room Queen suite walking distance from Magical Kingdom:

Thank you also for the cookie at check-in, hot and warm, one for each of my little family members (thanks for the one for Meg, it was too much for her and we really enjoyed finishing it off)

Thanks to some colleagues in Washington, D.C., who sent me a professional gift complete with refrigerated packaging and making me look like a hero to my kids:

A few other thanks here and there, but those will come next week after my trip to NYC.

Happy work perks to all!

Gratitude

2010-12-17T00:52:00.000-08:00

For my husband who worked his hardest to give me and my children the most amazing day today. Thank you also to Walt and Mickey and the rest of the cast.

I feel satisfied at my life and wouldn't change a thing. Even the stinky smell in the kitchen.

Dessert Contest?

2010-12-13T17:15:00.000-08:00

So we finished our official dessert contest last year over 6 months ago and Steve has proposed that we start up again.

Here are our reasons for considering doing it again:

The first place winner moved across the country freeing up her slot
The second place winner is withdrawing from the competition
There are a few families that moved in since our last competition who we think could bring it
It is a good way to celebrate our last few months
The trophy is so cute, really it is

What is your vote?

What you would have gotten tonight

2010-12-12T19:35:00.001-08:00

If you lived next door...

Second runner-up

2010-12-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

You may remember when I posted about the most inspiring keynote ever, Wynton Marsalis.

Well, I saw someone who matched him: Bill Strickland. So many ways to improve urban education yet so few make it happen. If you saw Waiting for Superman they show him (for like two seconds) driving by a prison and he talks about most of his peers from high school are there now.

Indiana Winter

2010-12-09T02:20:00.001-08:00

I tried to capture the chill in my bones but it just looks normal. But seriously, Midwestern winter is freeeeezing.

High Schooler Gratitude

2010-12-06T20:01:00.001-08:00

Saw this on the tree of gratitude hanging in the hallway at a school today. Take heart parents!