It has been nearly five years since moving and I have forgotten that making friends is kind of an effort. So much effort sometimes because I just don't have the patience to wait it out and let the friendships naturally happen.
I blame Tiffany because it took me approximately 5 days to find her at *DT. We were born to be friends you know--and I have been impatient ever since. She did give me some sage advice this afternoon to "drop this obsession with trying to make friends everywhere you go" which I will always treasure as comforting words from my BFF.
I also remember Krissie whom I met before she was even in our ward and ten seconds later knew she was my kind of friend--so that doesn't help me wait it out.
Come to think of it, many whom I met when I first moved to Santa Barbara were people who I could relate to immediately because we were in a similar situation.
Yet at playgroup this last week in my new ward when a girl told me that she and her family were in "my same situation" because they lived with their in-laws, I wanted to say HEY I AM NOT IN A SITUATION. But I need a friend so maybe I need to consider my situation the similar bonding material of graduate school lifestyle.
Fortunately I had lunch with the ever lovely Chellese who raised my spirits today and has committed to mandatory friendship time twice weekly. Thank you again for saving me from my self-imposed constraints.
And right when I am sitting in front of my computer alone at night wondering if I will even make any friends at all, I recall my best freighbor of all time and how long it took us to find each other when she was right there all along. I still sometimes cry over the lost time we could have had mocking reality tv show contestants. And if I am patient, somewhere in this new life is a Katie hiding out.
I just need some good pick-up lines to sort her from the chaff so any advice on friend-making tips is welcome here.
*RIP
Just lend them your mini fridge and then tell them to just keep the jeans they borrowed because they look better on them anyway. They'll be your friends for life.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't forget to laugh at all their jokes and be understanding of their co-dependent relationship to their cousin.
ReplyDeleteIn a few months you’re going to be fighting friends off with a stick. I have no doubt.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, you & I did first bond over mocking something - My advice is to ridicule as often as you can, and whoever laughs the loudest, that’s your girl.
I am feeling you! Dare I say we're in the same situation? I'm having a tough time finding like-minded individuals here, especially because 90% of the women here really are in the same situation as each other - which is not mine. I find myself almost willing to smile and nod when they all discuss how Sarah Palin is God's gift to patriots everywhere...almost. Just so they'll like me.
ReplyDeleteTry organizing a girls night out. I've had some success with this; lots of women will flock and you can spy on them while they socialize with others to see what they are really like. Then you can engage them in a trial conversation and if it's not to your liking, you can move on. Think of it as speed dating for friends. And don't tell anyone here I called it that.
Oh, and Katie, thanks for the reminder. I'll laugh louder.
This might be your opportunity to embrace a little Flem time, if you know what I mean. Like Katie said, in a few months, you'll have friends up the ying-yang! Managing all those friends, plus the ones you met on the Internet, will be like a second job.
ReplyDelete