Junior High Romance

My son is a nice kid.

He is 13.

He has never once expressed an interest in girls and I have never asked.  But this summer, a cute little girl at church came up to me during a campout we were on and the following conversation ensued:

Girl:  Do you know who your son likes?

Me:  No.  We don't talk about these things.

Girl:  I know.   I know who he likes.

Me:  I don't want to know.  It would be too embarrassing.  He wouldn't want me to know.

Girl:  Me.  He likes me.

Me:  Lalalalalalala {covering ears}

Girl: No, he does, for real.  I know because he was getting mad at his friend for chatting with me on facebook.

Me: LALALALALALALALA

Girl:  It's true.  Seriously.  Isn't that cute?

This was my official maturation as a mother.  I don't know why I am not the kind of mom who wants to know these things, but I just can't handle it.  My mom constantly, constantly asked if I liked boys.  I always had some boy I liked, never told her.  As a kid, I kind of felt like it was none of her business, and as a mom, I feel the same way.  Not my business.  Unless you want to try to sneak her in your window at night, then it definitely would be my business.

So this same little girl gave a talk at church on Sunday and I noticed that his friend in front of him kept turning around and they were exchanging glances.  I kept looking for some distracting item in the row and then I realized that it was the girl.  The girl! 

So this is the conversation that happened yesterday on the couch:

Me:  Son, do you like girls?

Son:  {no hesitation} yes.

{pause for information note: this child NEVER says yes outright unless he is arguing with his sister.  He answers nearly every question with an "I dunno" so for him to say yes is a resounding YES}

Me:  Do you like A girl?

Son: {no hesitation} yes.

Me: Does she know?

Son: I don't know, I think so.

Me:  What would you do if she liked you back?

Son: That would be awesome?

Me:  But what would you DO?  I mean, what does that even mean?

Son:  Mom, I wouldn't do anything, I am 13.

That's right son, that is right.  

But... I feel so... strange!  And now my little girl wears a bra that she can actually fill and started going to the mall and referring to boys as guys and I think when did this happen?  When did my children become people?  People who like other people?

It is both what I have always wanted and what I have feared.  I wanted them to grow up, but not to start to LIKE people!  I don't want them to have a crush because it means inevitable heartbreak--either the object of the crush will not like them, a devastating blow when someone reveals the information as your well-intentioned friends are (Landee, you know who you are) or the person will return the feelings and it will end in some relationship that will go in the direction in some other hormonal-driven thing.

Can't they have more innocent crushes like my junior high crush?

I don't remember thinking about this when we decided to have children, but I am in this for the long haul and I am woefully unprepared.  I will end with an original poem:

 

Oh to the children of the junior high

All your crushes are the apple of some mommy's eye

If and when you decide to reject some love offer

Remember the fragility of the heart that doth proffer

Should you decide to accept some little girl or boy

Just keep in mind that it isn't the real McCoy

Please remember this time in your life is just for harmless fun

Or I will have to change my mind about owning a gun

 

   

I like you, Pig-Rabbit

This post is at the request of a good friend of mine who I think was mocking me.  But here you go, Katie.

This is the tale of how I was tricked by the Japanese to watch hours of Korean soap operas:

A couple of months ago I came up for a great idea for a project for a conference where I was teaching a course for language teachers.  This project was supposed to simulate the learning environment of high school students so the project was designed to be an introductory project for students in their first semester of a language course.  

Here is the gist of the idea:

Have the students (teachers) watch a one-minute video clip of a telenovela (soap opera in Spanish) and create a simple dialogue based on what they think is happening in the scene.  My thought was that they could first watch a scene on mute, and analyze body language, proximity, facial expression, clothing, scenery, and try to make a prediction based on the context.  Then, they could watch the scene with the sound turned on and they could try to understand a word or two to add to the context.

Doesn’t that sound fun? Except… what if they already speak Spanish?  And, can I really figure out what they need if I don’t try the project myself?

So I looked around and found a French soap opera called.. I can't even remember. I tried it but it seemed so boring!! The French may be great lovers, but their novelas are all just lots and lots of words.

So then I tried German, ironically the only show I could find was a biography of Adolph Hitler.  I watched it for a few, but really?  Hitler?  In German?  That sounds even less fun than the French non-romantic version of dialogue.  

So I went Asia.  I ran across a life-changing series called Hana Yori Dango (Boys before Flowers) and after watching the first five minutes, the adorable little girl who plays the main character captured my heart.  

Isn’t she cute?

No! She is actually a tool of the devil to try to tempt you away from your studies, your work, and quality time with your family.

Once I was hooked, I had to watch it the whole way through.  The male lead role was a rather effeminate Michael Jackson look-alike, but as I watched the show, I grew to adore him and the other male leads on the show who were very different iterations of a “real man” than what we portray in the media:

American Real Man (selected for being People's Sexiest Man 2011)

Japanese Real Man

And when season 1 ended on such a cliff hanger, I really had to, I mean just had to finish season 2 as well. 

[Pause to appreciate that the show only had two seasons and ended with a nice wrap-up.]

Then I discovered, you can watch the Taiwanese version of Hana Yori Dango called Meteor Garden. 

I was just curious! 

I learned that the Taiwanese real man looks a little more like a surfer:

And I also learned that you can force yourself upon someone to aggressively kiss them in a Taiwanese show and they consider it romantic, fascinating.

Once I got to the part about amnesia though, I figured I knew the rest of the plot and stopped watching it.  

Until Netflix then had to suddenly show me this:

WHAT?  There is a whole series of shows in Korean with the same Cinderella plot!!

So I started with this one, which to date is my favorite:

It is called Secret Garden.  I LOVE, LOVE the main characters in this story.  I love it.  There is nothing else to say about it.  Aren’t they cute?  I know the plot involves switching bodies like Freaky Friday but the way it is done is just so lovely.

In this show it all started to click together why I love these Asian shows.  Here, in a nutshell, is why I love them so very much:

•  I am sorry to say it, but I actually prefer the Asian real man archetype to the current version of the American real man.  I think we haven’t seen real men in the movies for about 20 years when everything got so politically correct and men have to now be all sensitive. 
•  If you believe these shows to be reflective of their culture, the depiction is that you don’t show physical affection until you are married in Japanese or Korean culture. Thus when they finally do make physical contact (no lie, three of these shows had to have a character fall down onto someone to kiss them because it seems taboo otherwise!)  So… when they do hug or hold hands, it seems like a BIG deal.  Cue music and slow down the filming.
•  Facial expressions are to die for! They hardly say anything, they just look at each other.  Like they just stare.  It is actually quite emotional.  
• The main characters who are women tend to be very modestly dressed.  In fact, these lead women all have a very innocent way about them and wear very normal-looking non-glamorous clothing and hairstyles.  They seem like just regular-looking people and they win the heart of the male characters by being kind, quirky, and stoic. 

American stars of popular show:

Korean stars of popular show:

I was going to recommend one but they are all so good, so here are a few to consider (remember the original titles are in Korean so the translations are like the name of firecrackers) AFTER you watch the ones above, those really are the ones you need to check out once you get hooked.

• Protect the Boss
• You are Beautiful
• Playful Kiss

Thank you Korea, I love your entertainment.  American shows seem so classless now.