Why Post When...

You have friends THIS funny who left the hood but stopped back by to bring me hot soup and a lemon bar for sir steve-a-lot.

Or friends like THIS who sent chapter one my way and is sponsoring the cake contest in honor of the best BOOK evah. Oh hit mute before you click that link if you are at work or in another place pretending to be doing something non-recreational. The music is excelente but it catches me off guard constantly.

Or your upstairs neighbor links you to this little gem of creativity.

Or you got THIS cute face looking up at you:




























Update: Recovered from flu but looks like Steve is fighting something. Also, me, heroic today in household duties but it is muy late and I got a ton more work and personal finance to do. Never will be sleeping again urgh.

Flu season, take me away.

Influenza

I am supposed to leave on Monday to go Chicago (about 45 minutes north of there)

But I woke up with chills last night in the middle of the night. And then I couldn't stand up the first half of the morning because I was so nauseated. I went to the doctor who diagnosed me with the flu and then she proceeded to say "You can't travel with the flu. People will die if they catch it from you--the elderly and small children."

If she would have said ANYTHING else I would have gone anyway, but I can't have that on my conscious.

I am going to see if I get over it by the end of the day tomorrow but it looks like, for the first time in three years, I will be canceling a visit to one of my schools :(

She told me not to spend time with my children and not to nurse my baby while on the meds so I am holed up in my stinky germy room writing this blog post after which I will go back to sleep again for the billionth time today.

My kids were really nice to me telling me they wanted to give me hugs and love but the real hero is my husband. While I was sick he was managing all the household meals and cleaning, arranging playgroups for the kids, and general niceness to me. He drove all over town to get me what I needed and held me while I was shivering. He even sat in the bathroom while I was taking a shower at 1 am because he was worried about me.

Thanks Steve, you are the genuine article.

Ground Control to Major Tom

Recently I have discovered that my cerebral operating system has limited space. This was always a known issue, but it has come to a peak lately.

Someone shared an article (via twitter you haters who haven't learned the value yet) regarding the need for digital natives to meditate. I didn't actually read the article because I am so constantly multitasking that I just read summaries and then pass on info to people.

Recent studies have determined that people who multitask do each task less efficiently. It is like they know me.

Forgive the analogy for the non-tech types, but I just realized that the Operating System analogy is very powerful. How is my brain like an operating system?

1. It begins to run less and less efficiently when certain programs are running in the background. Programs like listening to my children fight, or having to work on my expense reports which keeeel me.

2. I always, I mean always, have 2-3 programs going. I often have a song in my head (or maybe I am singing it) and I maintain simultaneous thoughts and repeat conversations in my head.

3. If my brain has been engaged for a long time, it begins to be overwhelmed and I need to shut down. My friends in college used to accuse me of randomly picking up the phone and calling someone mid-conversation. Controlling those impulses is key for me because I still have this habit. Someone asks a question and I immediately pick up my phone, only now I use texting or a browser to solve my issues instead of actually calling someone.

I have recently discovered, sadly, that I can't seem to concentrate very well when I am having conversations with people one-on-one. I can't complete a thought coherently, I am not engaged in many conversations, etc.

My solution to this:

1. NO screen time for set periods of the day. No phone, no computer, no nothing.

2. MUST workout. I am trying to go religiously three times a week. The other days if I can go on a walk, even better. I seem to be able to concentrate on conversations better during that time too so if you want to talk to me about something you should definitely go on a walk with me.

3. When I get in the car, I can't turn on the radio or play with my phone for at least part of the drive. I should be using this time to converse with whomever is actually IN the car.

4. I need to create a "to do" list. Instead of doing five things partway, I need to set two simple things I am going to complete each day. This means I need to actually create said list. I am looking for an app for that btw.

5. Meditation. I haven't done this effectively yet, but I plan on at the very least, trying to pray more often and focus my brain in that way. Maybe that is part of the reason why we ought to do so.

6. Getting enough sleep. Megs still thinks it is okay to get up in the middle of the night and I am often at diminished capacity. I have no resolution for this right now but hopefully it will get better soon.

What other strategies do people have for brain restart, or at least hibernation?

There Goes the Neighborhood

Timeline of my sadness:

April 08: Our favorite "family" friends moved from the neighboring housing complex to New Mexico

July 08: Our upstairs corner neighbors, the people who were nicest to us when we first came (other than the "oh ___ you aren't Mormon are you?" when I didn't take her up on a margarita) moved out of our complex. Tt got kind of quiet since they took the domestic spats along with them but still we missed them and Gillian STILL asks for a playdate with their daughter.

September 08: My upstairs neighbors whom I had grown to love as my absolute favorite daily visit, moved a mile a way. That doesn't sound like a lot but it really is far, far, far compared to just running upstairs for a quick check in. I ought to be grateful because they stayed in town, but I miss the regular contact.

Modern day: Two of my recent neighbors, who also happen to be members of my ward at church, have relocated to live about 5 miles away. We will remain in the same ward and remain friends, but I am very sad by this. Proximity is everything.

One more neighbor will move next week taking with her my son's bffs for the last three years. Needless to say he is devastated.

Freighbor in particular is a blow to me as I have come to rely upon her for so many friendship needs I have. She stopped by randomly to chit chat last night with her adorable son who is not much younger than lil Meg and in spite of his predicable future political leanings, I hope that he will one day look her way when they are attending BYU. I cannot contain my sadness at their departure from the hood.

This is the life of family student housing in graduate school.

However, surely there is much to rejoice. I have acquired new friends who will forever be in my circle of digital friends as well as Christmas card list forever. But in addition I need to remember that I still live in a lovely neighborhood.

For example the delightful family that lives above us with the world's cutest little boy who I get to see gleefully climb and descend the stairs on the regular. I love having this family as neighbors, they are models of physical fitness and healthy eating and they spend so much time together as a family! They can be seen riding bikes, hiking, and smiling together on an ongoing basis (in spite of the fact that she is in the last trimester of pregnancy!) My only complaint is that they are so clean and organized! They make me feel like a crazy and chaotic mess.

I saw them at the park (another perk of living here) yesterday and I received a call from one of my principals-- my neighbor immediately offered up to watch Meg so I could carry on my conversation and while I was on the phone took several pics of Meg that he promptly emailed me last night.


















In case you missed the curls she is developing lately:

















Playing on the slide:




































How many of you have a neighbor who would volunteer to watch your baby on the spot AND take such great pics?

Kinder debrief

I was worried about dropping off little Gillian. For some reason I just knew it was going to be harder. Who can explain the workings of the human brain, why one child will storm the castle with confidence, one will follow all the orders of the regime, and one will cry the first time another soldier takes her seat.

And not in that order.

You would think that once you hit that third child, with two older siblings already in the same school in a building where she has been coming almost daily for three years that it would be easy. The teachers knew her name, almost half the children in her class are recognizable faces as siblings of other known families in the school.

It wasn't. I still have a baby left in the house who is plenty cute and plenty baby but I still felt very weepy leaving this daughter of mine at the school.

Auntie Lissa is visiting and she made a particular effort for the kids with these cute cookies that she made and decorated:




















School lunches are still the bane of my existence, btw, so if anyone has any tips or suggestions on what to bring please leave ideas in the comments section por favor.

Here we are in the morning before school:


























^^^ The cool sibs.

And Gillian:


























We dropped her off in her class and stayed until she whispered "you can go now" which was right after class started.


























It was so familiar with the uniforms and the other kids all speaking Spanish, I thought it would be okay after all.

Unforunately, when I went to pick her up she just looked somber. She said it was okay until lunch. The lunch ladies both told me that she was sad because I didn't send her with a water bottle and since she was so thirsty because it was soooo hot (80 degrees people) that when she got up to get a drink her spot was stolen. Apparently this was an unarticulated expectation, like many other things in the life of my school experience.

I went and bought three water bottles today and I hope my children forgive me for all the things I am doing to mess them up.

Here is to day number two. Oh and back to the lunch issue, in case you (landee) think that I am providing them with some weirdo junk, here are today's lunch contents:

Kudos bar
Peach
Homemade rolls with cheese and ham baked inside (only HALF whole wheat tyvm)
Water bottle

Doesn't that sound yummy? I will predict they come home with complaints about it. Please, please let little Gills have a good day today.

Uninspired

I just need some inspiration.

Hum a few bars and see if I can sing along.

The Eagle Hath Landed

Bridget's Baptism

We had a lovely time thanks for asking.

We had family come in for the day and friends join us for what overall was a nice event.

Here is Bridget outside the church building wearing the dress her grandmother made for her:



























Here she is with her gramps:






















Her parents:

























The whole fam:



















The after party:




















And the kids after party... took place in a moving van. Weird, I know, but it was just right there and it was soo fun to run up and down the ramp:




















And just for good measure, here is an updated pic of Megs:

On Hoosiers and Illini

Columbus, Indiana. Beautiful city, little haven of tremendous architecture in the middle of nowhere. I highly recommend it and if you are ever anywhere near it (1 hour south of Indy) then you should check out the school. It is hands down the most amazing school campus I have ever, ever seen. I believe that is saying something. Their teaching and learning is pretty powerful too, the teachers refer to themselves as "facilitators" and the schools is very student-centered. Weather: Tornado watch.

Danville, Illinois. Home of Gene Hackman and Dick Van Dyke. High school building old, bricked, and traditional with a beautiful theater (perhaps donated by these and other famous alumni.) Located 10 minutes from the state line so your cell phone (if you have AT&T) flips back and forth between two time zones. Best hamburgers in the world. If you are ever in the aream, you ought to stop by and see the new section of the high school (retrofitted, not redone) and wish them luck on their first year. Weather: Tornado watch, rain and a bit of hail on my way out of town.

Fort Wayne, Indiana. Amazing little start-up, these guys really have it going on--relationships, rigor, relevance, (the three new Rs in case you aren't aware) and they gave me a cute T. This is also a cute town (two chick-fil-as though I had no time to visit) and very friendly. I think the downtown area is clean and well-groomed with a couple of nice parks and fountains. The principal here is going to be my bff for the next three years because she says the things that I am thinking (but am kind of afraid to say.) If you are ever in the area, stop on by and check out all the cool things they are doing. I got to see one of my mission friends, Audrey, who just had the yummiest baby about 5 months ago. He smiled and cuddled with me and it made me miss my kids (though it was a nice break on my whirlwind work trip.) Weather: flash foods and a severe lack of visibility due to a serious downpour.

Indianapolis, Indiana. I HEART this airport. There are several "family" bathrooms with a chair and an electric outlet so I can take care of my, ahem, supply for Meg. Usually airports do not have such options, fyi. Also, they have this spa place so that you can get a "quick connection" massage if you like. I have a six hour layover (that is to say I got to the airport early in hopes of changing my flight, which I did, but I am still getting home at the same time only without the extra flight to Charlotte in between) so I actually decided to get the massage. I know that sounds very indulgent, but I have been working a lot of hours and have had some back pain the last few weeks that is worsened by several 2-4 hour drives, flights, etc. Additional boni at the Indy airport: reasonable amount of sit-down restaurants and book stores. Weather: Sun deceivingly shining to make you think that living here would actually be a reasonable prospect.

Overall I absolutely love the people here. The food is, well, meat, but I just think this is one of the nicest places. I miss North Carolina, but the work here is so good. I actually had a superintendent ask me what he could do to support a school better and the dedication to the schools is clear. Oh also, architecture of a school is highly valued so the Indiana schools are very, very pritty. Like you.

Maybe I could live here. Or maybe I will just visit each month.

Where Am I?

Welcome to the Midwest. This is my hotel room. Top ten architectural
something cities in the US.

New Conversation Starter

My son bought one of these dealios. With his own money--he saved up over the last six months and since his birthday came in the midst of that he was able to get the $$ quickly enough to buy this thing. He bought it on ebay and he got two games, a skin and two cases, and four stylus (styli?) for $90.

Same rules apply: Read first then you get playing time. It is a 1:2 btw, so he can read for one minute and play for two. Anyway fortunately he hasn't read much so he has to read a ton today before we get another scene like this...

But yeah now every conversation is going to start with "in my pókeindex..." or "Neighbor kid one is going to trade me for ____."

I wish I were even remotely interested in this stuff.

My New Theory

Like many others I struggle with my weight.

I know what I need to do, I just don't do it. I know that I shouldn't have refined foods, get 30 minutes of exercise a day, lift weights instead of my fork, etc.

But I have a new theory: I am genetically a survivor. I love to eat because I am from a species designed to thrive. This isn't my theory by the way, but scientifically proven that our bodies cling to fats and turn sugars to fat storage because of our hunter-gatherer evolutionary needs of storing food when we could get it to make up for times of lean and scarcity.

This new revelation, however, is specific to my personal genetic code. Everyone in previous generations had several children. My grandparents had 8 children, my great grandgrandparents had 16, the great-greats had somewhere around 15. I descend from the Joad family, the Scots-Irish, the Irish Bravehearts (or something like that.) Is it any wonder that in a modern technological age, we have now become the genetic losers fighting the modern problem of industrialism: obesity.

The bodies once designed to cling to food are now the weak ones in society, the poor blue collar workers whose physical prowess allowed them to thrive in yesterday's world. What once was a boon, to have a body that would outlive the rest under circumstances of starvation, is now a curse in today's era of abundance.

In order for me to increase my children's quality of life, I must fight our genetic code and teach them not to eat as much as they can but it is moderation and keeping their bodies trim and fit, not keeping the water in the camel constantly full, that will lead to their success in the gene pool.

I have come to this realization in the nick of time. What once was a personal challenge can now be a much bigger triumph. Fighting the natural man, as we are admonished, to overcome what my DNA wants me to do is much more inspiring than simply trying to be more attractive, since the desire to be beautiful to attract a mate as part of our evolutionary tendencies is partially lost upon one who is so happily married.

My new plan... and hold me to this:

1) Three days a week of gym classes. Two of hip hop and one zumba.
2) While traveling, only fish or salad for meals and no dessert
3) Back to only whole grains and no refined sugars

If I can do these three things and say "stick it" to the natural man perhaps I can gain Darwin's glory for today while retaining the prize of yesterday in preparation for any potential famine that would wipe out the people who have no fat storage. Wish me luck.

Family, or What I Missed Out On My Whole Life

I was raised by an amazing mother, RIP Valerie Davis.

She had her own agenda in general, and she never found a satisfying marital relationship (though she certainly tried with four marriages/divorces under her belt) but her main goal in life was to raise a child who was happy, confident, and successful.

She pushed me to succeed in school. She wanted me to believe in myself. She wanted me to enjoy my life. I have to say that I am happy and confident (in most areas) and I consider having a job that I love and a happy marriage to be criteria of my personal success (though another bathroom might seal the deal.) I hope my mom died happy that she had done her work on this earth.

Though she was amazing, she did it mostly on her own. Hippieartist was left out of the picture until I was 10 years old. I missed out on some prime family time not only with my dad but with his whole family whom in my adult life I have grown to love and appreciate beyond what I knew was possible. I think I know now why people spend most of their personal time with their families and friends are an asterisk as opposed to the other way around which is my personal M.O.

Anywho, I went to a family reunion up at my uncle's house in the Cali CV (Ceres to be exact) and all my dad's sibs were there with all of their kids and the kid's kids. Three generations of people all swimming together (add my second cousin, Carl Leo, and his chocolate lab who jumped in the pool along with us) really made me think about who I am.

You always think of your traits as pieces of you inherited from your parents but inseparable is the nurture piece--do I repeat myself all the time because I saw my mom do it or do I do that because genetically I am predisposed to do so?

The phrases that we say, perhaps our diction or emphasis, must come from the home environment. But what about other things--personal generosity, willingness to try new things, personal loathing for household chores or packrat tendencies--are these things that we witnessed, or things that make up our genetic code?

I feel like I have more to ponder in this area because I had very little contact with my father's family until it was too late to have been exposed to many of their personal habits.

(Side note: I got to know my grandpa slightly more than others and as a result I love peanut butter in all forms, particularly when you add sweetened condensed milk, like on top of pancakes, though that might be genetic too)

So when I spent the weekend with my father's family I felt like I fit in. I have different personal habits and lifestyle choices, but I feel like there is a place where I can walk in the door and I don't have to change who I am in any way becuase, well, we are all family.

A few things that make me feel at home:

1) Food. Good food--not like quinoa and whole grain but like bacon and brown sugar baked beans, texas sheet cake, and some really amazing chocolate chip cookies. Oh and the BBQ is good stuff too. Weight problems are an issue for everyone, though a lot of them out of a desire to live longer have dropped a few here and there.

2) Mockery. Everyone mocks everyone else but no one gets offended. Or at least on the spot.

3) Total confidence in all personal opinions. Everyone sounds like an authority on all issues.

4) Come as you are mentality. Three times people have shown up to family events as long lost children or siblings and each time the family has embraced these people with open arms. If you are even remotely related, or a friend of a relative, you are family.

There are some other things but I can't quantify anything else as clearly.

These are the five "babies" born in the last two years. Only two are matched up with the parents, two are with grandparents. See if you can identify Meg in the pic:





















The rest of these are of my kids in the pool, from 11 am to 5:30 pm. No lie. I reapplied sunscreen twice but they still got burned. I hope to be getting some other pictures, but between being in the pool myself and taking care of all my kids (and batteries in my camera dying) I didn't get any pics. Thanks to my Aunt Judy for remembering to take pictures. Incidentally, another trait of this family is to give away everything you own. My aunt went to staples and saw that there were a bunch of school supplies on sale so she went back twice in order to get enough stuff to give to us. 20 spiral notepads and another ten reams of paper, pencil boxes, pencils, erasers, and who knows what else was in the bag. I can't tell you the last time I saw a Casey relative when they didn't give me something to take home.

























































So whether it is nature or nurture, these are my kind of people and my kinds of parties. I hope to be able to spend some time with them each year and that no one else dies for at least ten more years.

One Last Hurrah

I look at my calendar one day at a time.

Today I am leaving for a family event up in the CV of Cali and will return Sunday morning.

Just a quick five hour hop up for a one day thing.

I have several trips coming up in the near future and I can't look at my calendar because the snowball effect of it all has me tied up in knots.

For now I am going to ask some advice:

I am still nursing Meg. I have a quick series of trips in Aug/Sept and I am wondering if I should continue to take my pump with me and keep up the supply if she is going to be one in Sept anyway? Or should I just continue since I am down to pumping only three times a day while away?

This is my last baby people so I am having some sadness over it. Thoughts?

Thanks Chellese!

It is hard to describe, really, the variety of talent that is in this woman's repertoire.

• She has a Master's degree in French and when she speaks the language it sounds like butter but smoother.
  
• She also speaks Spanish fluently but she is so modest she might not even mention it. We met from living in the foreign language housing at BYU.
• She has run several marathons including the New York Marathon (she used to belong to the NY Road Runners) and she is soon headed to Australia to participate in some major marathon there.
• She also has an incredible eye for art and her home is decorated so tastefully, originally, artistically.
• I don't know how to quantify this particular talent: her children are endlessly entertaining. The sound bites they produce are really and truly incredible. Not surprisingly, a recent post on her blog pointed to a favorite ice cream flavor of her children; daquirui.
  

It should not wow me, though it does, that her photography matches her quiet and tasteful style.

Her photography blog (CBCG) contains some amazing pics so you can get a sense of her style and quality.


In my basket of friends, she is one my shiniest eggs. Thanks Chellese! I love you so much.

All this to say that she took some pictures of my children that I absolutely adore. I cannot put them all here due to time and space but I can show you a quick sampling. My biggest challenge to date is determining how to best display these around the house.

Ideas?

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I am thinking of starting a series on my wall called "The Dancing Fam"...

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I am considering this as my new profile pic:

Road Trip

After a long couple of road trips we are finally on the final stretch
home. We had some interesting conversations with the kids and I was
reminded of how much I love hanging out with them.

One snippet

Gillian:
"Mom when you die at the big party I am going to talk about all the
things you did when you were alive."

Bridget:
"That would be rude if someone started singing hallelujah because you
were dead."

Casey:
"Then why would that person even be there?"

Sent from mi teléfono i.