My New Theory

Like many others I struggle with my weight.

I know what I need to do, I just don't do it. I know that I shouldn't have refined foods, get 30 minutes of exercise a day, lift weights instead of my fork, etc.

But I have a new theory: I am genetically a survivor. I love to eat because I am from a species designed to thrive. This isn't my theory by the way, but scientifically proven that our bodies cling to fats and turn sugars to fat storage because of our hunter-gatherer evolutionary needs of storing food when we could get it to make up for times of lean and scarcity.

This new revelation, however, is specific to my personal genetic code. Everyone in previous generations had several children. My grandparents had 8 children, my great grandgrandparents had 16, the great-greats had somewhere around 15. I descend from the Joad family, the Scots-Irish, the Irish Bravehearts (or something like that.) Is it any wonder that in a modern technological age, we have now become the genetic losers fighting the modern problem of industrialism: obesity.

The bodies once designed to cling to food are now the weak ones in society, the poor blue collar workers whose physical prowess allowed them to thrive in yesterday's world. What once was a boon, to have a body that would outlive the rest under circumstances of starvation, is now a curse in today's era of abundance.

In order for me to increase my children's quality of life, I must fight our genetic code and teach them not to eat as much as they can but it is moderation and keeping their bodies trim and fit, not keeping the water in the camel constantly full, that will lead to their success in the gene pool.

I have come to this realization in the nick of time. What once was a personal challenge can now be a much bigger triumph. Fighting the natural man, as we are admonished, to overcome what my DNA wants me to do is much more inspiring than simply trying to be more attractive, since the desire to be beautiful to attract a mate as part of our evolutionary tendencies is partially lost upon one who is so happily married.

My new plan... and hold me to this:

1) Three days a week of gym classes. Two of hip hop and one zumba.
2) While traveling, only fish or salad for meals and no dessert
3) Back to only whole grains and no refined sugars

If I can do these three things and say "stick it" to the natural man perhaps I can gain Darwin's glory for today while retaining the prize of yesterday in preparation for any potential famine that would wipe out the people who have no fat storage. Wish me luck.