Goblin Valley Experience

This weekend I went to Goblin Valley, for those who don't know, it is a crazy amazing place 3.5 hours from where we live now.  I can't explain it so I won't try.  Here are several shots to attempt to capture the beauty of it:

It really is like a bunch of little rock goblins.  Speaking of little goblins...

Then my phone died. So I didn't capture the loveliest of all, my new amor for the outdoors that I discovered in a slot canyon. Little Wild Horse Trail. So I have to borrow some pictures from other sources, pretend like the kid in this picture is one of the young women in my ward or one of my own wee ones:

 Or...

Prior to this trip, when people would say "let's go on a hike" I would think things like uphill, stickers in my socks, plant identification, and being really thirsty.  But this kind of hiking, this kind of adventurous climbing and moving your way through small openings in rocks, now that... that is what I call a hike!

So fun, and I hope to repeat it several times over.  I am already trying to scope out a time when I can do it again.  Here is one more picture just for you to imagine it.  We saw several groups doing things like this so we could go under their legs to pass.  Again, don't know these people, but you can imagine that is the kind of group we might have seen.  If I get some actual photos, I will replace these.

The Rule of a Year

For some reason, even having lived in Utah before, the rule of a year remains true.  What is the rule of a year? It takes a year to stop longing for your previous community and start feeling connected to your new one.

I suppose because Santa Barbara was so lovely and we lived there for longer than we have lived anywhere else the year was more like 15 months before I finally let go.  But it happened, the last two weeks demarcating the end of my transition into this community.

Four key events occurred that have helped me with this transition:

• Starting school has provided me with a new community among my fellow classmates with whom I will be spending the next year or so
• We had a new family move into our neighborhood/church and for some reason I thought to myself Hey! We can officially welcome new people now and not BE the new people.  The new family has their children in Spanish immersion and when we eventually bribe them to come over with a meal, I feel like we can have some friends in the cause.
• I finally made a good work transition (I moved teams about 6 months ago but finally had to let go last week in Napa when both teams were meeting at the same time and I very clearly had to physically go to another location for my new team which caused a deep sense of loss but finally some exclusive focus on my new work) which means LESS travel finally.  Like maybe even 30-40% of what I have been doing
• I was called to be a counselor in YW in my ward.  For those who don't know what that means, I will be working with 12-18 year-old girls during the young women's portion of church on Sundays and one night a week, my specific focus will be 12-13 year olds.  The president and other counselor are both working moms with husbands who have provided primary care-giving in the home, very different from what I would describe as your typical situation.  I am excited both about the opportunity to work with these young women and the leaders themselves.  It will be an additional time commitment but part of our religious belief is that when you volunteer your time to help others, you are giving a blessing of additional energy and spiritual support which I have felt for myself at other times in my life.

The combination of these four factors, culminating with the calling yesterday, has finally secured a sense of home for me in Utah.  Now I just have to hope and pray Steve doesn't get a job in Oklahoma or some other random location to pull me away from my new home.

In Which I Fight the Law and the Law Wins

I believe in being secure.  To be honest, I would probably volunteer to get a little tracking chip or device so that I don't have to sign papers anymore, I got no problem with that.

Because let's be truthful:  there are no secrets from Big Brother.

I was pulled over today for speeding for which I was granted a violation for going 29 mph.  My car goes 28 without even pushing on the gas, but that is a tale for another time.  And I got a warning from the police for:

• Failing to possess my license
• Failing to present my registration card
• And failure to present my insurance

Are these things crimes?  Yes, technically.

But WHY are they crimes exactly?

Because when the officer typed in my name, he had access to anything he wanted including my picture.  He knows I have paid my registration, he knows I have paid my insurance and in fact knows the date I moved to Utah and that I don't possess a Utah license (which he claims I was supposed to have obtained 60 days after taking up residence though the previous officer who pulled me over last year said that it didn't matter.)  Had I had those items would it have saved him time?  No!  Because he would have looked anyway to verify. 

As part of this rant, tet me tell you another tale, one that may strike fear into the hearts of you conspiracy theorist libertarian types:

I forgot my ID last flight to New York.  It was the first time in five years that I have forgotten my identification, I had left it at home in my wallet and as I was not driving (ahem, I clearly wouldn't drive without having it with me) and cooked chicken for 80 people hours before my flight I was distracted and forgot about it.

You may be wondering to yourself, how did you board the plane?? How did they let you fly to a city still haunted by the memory of terrorists?

How indeed. 

Lee:  (sheepishly to TSA officer)  Alas I have forgotten my DL.

TSA:  Ah.  Do you have a Costco card?

Lee:  Shoot, I usually carry that in the event I can get a 50-lb bag of flour on my trips but I have left it at home with my DL.

TSA:  Any other ID? 

Lee:  This health insurance card that belongs to my 7-year old and is misspelled.

TSA:  hmm.  What else?

Lee:  Ohh!  My Platinum Level Frequent Flyer Card

TSA:  Uh.Uh.

Lee:  Oh no!  What do we do now.

TSA:  Okay I am going to call a guy, he is going to ask you a series of questions and you just answer them. 

Lee:  Great!!

TSA questions (I am not giving answers, I don't need you people pretending to be me): 
Name anyone who lives with you.
What is that person's birthday?
What is the land line associated with your address?
Name a previous residence.
What are the last 4 digits of your social security?

Lee:  (Uh... uhh..... sweating, is Steve's birthday the 29th or 30th?  Wait, was that my dad's?)  Answering them all correctly.

TSA:   Okay, here is a piece of paper saying you are who you say you are.

Lee:  Ever so grateful, really for real! 

I was grateful.  And thankful that I didn't miss my flight.  I so appreciate the exception.

But you can see why I don't feel really guilty that I didn't have some piece of paper in my car when the government knows everything about me.  Really, more than I know perhaps.

In Spain people are afraid of a National Police State because of their history with Franco.  In Germany they live in fear of a dictator.  In the United States, though, we trust.  We trust our government and we don't really care if they know every dirty little secret about us and in fact write laws demanding personal information for the most basic applications.  We have no reason to believe our own government is out to get us so we don't say "hey, I am not giving you my annual income so you can give my kids free lunch!" We don't say "I am not filling out that information on my tax form!"

So why, WHY pretend like the government doesn't know everything about me?  Why warn me that I am not holding up some copied piece of paper that shows them what they know already?

But I do not fear abuse, the government is not organized or competent enough to launch any kind of large-scale conspiracy. 

I dream of a future in which a police officer doesn't bother to pull me over because he has waved a wand as I drove by and he knows that I have four children who wear seatbelts, I obey the law in general and I am running 1 minute late for school.  He knows the reason I don't have the required paperwork in my car is because it is sitting at home in a file called "to put in car."

And he spends his time hunting down the REAL criminals.
 

Oh Utah, the Honeymoon is Over

Stats for this week:

Number of attempted new friendships:  5

Number of rejections to invitations:  5

Number of activities attended alone: 2

Number of days it was too cold to go outside:  all of them


Terrific.

Up the Canyon

Living near the mountains is much like living near the beach: you have to make a concerted effort to enjoy it and actually schedule time so you can build memories like these:

Summer Encampment

Our children had the opportunity to participate in the Noorda Theatre Summer Camp again this year.  Gillian was able to do a child's version of Midsummer Night's Dream and since I wasn't here I had to take it from Steve that it was really and truly a delightful final performance.  Our daughter tapped into her creativity and danced like a fairy.

My eldest two, however, of ALL the choices, decided to pick the following:

EnACTing History - World War II
Students will enhance their acting skills, speaking abilities, and historical understanding as they enact dramatic moments that led the American people in and out of war. The course will include training in improvisational acting, persuasive speech, and historical research as students experience great events first hand in their roles as historical characters. Each week will culminate with a one-hour improvisational performance for family in friends in which a courageous group of citizens must make momentous decisions. Depending on students' persuasive abilities, the course of history may be altered! Special funding from the College of Humanities and Social Science make it possible for us to offer this course for only $75 a week.


I encouraged them to take something more like Stage Combat or Storytelling but they insisted they were interested in learning history.  Obviously they get that from their papa.

But the class instructor pulled a bait and switch and instead of doing WWII, they decided the topic would be...

The Holocaust.

They had to pick between the following roles:

• Nazi doctor
• Camp guard
• Resistance fighter
• Allied Soldier
• Jew
• Nazi Civilian

When our son came home he said "All we do is kill people."  He was pretty upset about it so *Steve's sister talked to the kids, reread the description and decided that maybe they were going to rewrite history so Steve left them in for the week, especially when it seemed like the activities they were doing in camp each day were more light-hearted.  The kids seemed to like it better after day 1.

Cut to Friday:

Note: Actors are children ages 10-14

Scene #1  

Camp Director:  Jews to the showers!!

Camp Guard (played by my son):  They don't look that dirty to me, they don't need to take a shower

Nazi doctor:  Pull the lever!!!

Camp Guard:  {lets them free}

Nazi doctor:  So you didn't pull the lever?  [chops off Camp Guard's fingers]

Scene #2

Nazi Camp Director:  I am not guilty for what I have done because the Jews are all spit.

Scene #3

Allied Soldiers:  Hi Jews, we are here to rescue you!

Jews:  Do you have any food for us, please?

Allied Soldiers:  Yes

Jews:  [Die on stage]

Isn't summer camp fun?

*For Steve's rendition see The Juvenile Instructor

More Junior High Experience

Disclaimer:  I am just complaining here.  Boring to you non-educationgeeks

Me:  {sigh} I guess I will go try to get Casey registered at local junior high x

Me:  {in front office} Hi, we recently moved to the area and I still have not registered my son for 7th grade yet

Lady:  Okay, you need to go the counseling office

Me: {Returning after finding door locked} Actually, just like the other junior high we tried to visit, the counseling office is closed on the one day I can get here before school is out.  Sorry, we are just trying to adjust to such a big school system, we came from California.

Lady:  Uh, you came from California and you think THIS is a big school system.

Me: Yes.  Well I mean the schools here are really large.

Lady: {Getting on the horn} Yeah, counselor chick?  You have a parent up here who wants to register her son, and your door is locked.  Yes. Okay.  Sending her over.

Counselor:  {blah blah paperwork}

Me:  Great.  Okay, so do you have a paper that describes your mission, vision, or your educational approach or whatever?

Counselor (and now another counselor hovering): Uhhh....Well we do some GREAT stuff, we just don't write it down.  I mean, people come from all over the state to see the stuff we do!

Me:  Of course, that is wonderful.  Can you give me an example?

Counselor duo:  Welll....Oh I know!  We have this cool thing called *free time where kids can go get extra help if they want, or they can just play around and stuff, really motivates them to get their work done so they can play.  It is awesome.  Our principal is really data driven and we really help kids by allowing them to learn at their own pace--so it isn't IF they learn, it is WHEN they learn.  So teachers are really flexible in allowing them to make up work, get extra help etc.  We totally allow late work and that free time is their chance to get the help they need.

Me: {Actually that IS kind of awesome, I LOVE free time}  Oh cool, I get it, that is great, you really help kids if they don't get it the first time, that is wonderful to hear.  What about the first time around, you know, the first time the teachers teach the material?  What is their educational philosophy, or what kind of professional development do they get or.. you know?

Counselor duo:  Uh... I am not really sure what you mean by educational philosophy, but they go to trainings and stuff.  I mean, I always hear people say "Man that teacher has been around FOREVER" so we have really good teachers.  We also have really high attendance due to our new tardy and attendance policy.  He goes to district meetings and they are like handing out stacks to everyone of their attendance and like one page to him.

Me:  Oh really, what is your attendance rate?

Counselor duo:  Oh.  We don't know.  Wait here comes the principal! He might know.

Data-driven principal:  It's high.  Way high.  I don't know if off the top of my head.

Okay stop.  Collaborate and listen.  (Wait that line makes NO sense because you don't really need to collaborate to listen). 

If you are a non-educator and still reading, you might miss this subtlety, but I have worked with close to 100 principals in the span of my life and I have NEVER met a principal who did not know his attendance numbers within a few percentage.  Do you know why?  Because THAT is the number that funds your school.  Like literally, you get dollars for attendance.

Every high school, every junior high, every elementary school principal knows that number because it represents your success in keeping kids at school.  The attendance rate represents your ability to take kids out of poverty and change their lives, or teach second language learners to adapt.  The attendance rate is what separates a good school from a great school.  The attendance rate is almost the sole criteria for principals in low performing broken urban schools AND if you have a higher attendance rate than your neighboring schools, even in a high performing school district you know it.

And if you are data-driven, you doubly know it.

So here is the real quandry--did he lie?  Or did he really not know it?  And which is worse?

Sorry friends, I must record these moments as my personal journey through the public education system gets worse by the minute.

We are sending him to that school by the way. Why?  Because they have mandatory music class so I can be a Tiger Parent via sending him to high-performing, high-attendance junior high schools in my community.  I always wanted to be a Tiger mom I just don't have the guts.  Now I can let the school system at least force him to take the music classes and live in peace.

Plus I am going to formulate some good public comments for the school board meetings next year.  Can't wait until my travel slows down.


*Names have been changed to protect the innocent

Things I Should Remember

The last few months have been so happy for me.  I can't decide if it is because I have been exercising regularly, because we live in such a beautiful house, or if we just haven't gotten entrenched in the community enough to have responsibilities beyond our family.  Regardless of root cause, I feel like I have been so happy lately when I am at home.

I have been traveling way too much but will cut back as of June which makes me even happier.

A sampling of things I have done here and loved:

1.  Helped at a friend's wedding--I thought this basket that the brother of the bride put together was so beautiful of all the homemade breads (chocolate, garlic asiago, whole wheat, tomato basil, etc.)  Isn't that a gorgeous way to display bread?  I am going to have to remember this little catering tip for the future.

2. Inspired by my friend Tiffany's little crafty self, I called her for some ideas on making cake truffles.  Believe me, these things were tasty and just used up some leftover cake and frosting we had sitting around. These were for teacher appreciation week btw.

3.  One of my recent trips to NYC--this is the Lincoln Center and the sparkly little lights are the word "Welcome" in a million different languages.  I guess the droid camera doesn't capture that kind of light intensity, but I liked the way the picture turned out and feel like it captured how I felt when I was there.  I am going back in about a week.  

4.  Up the canyon--we had a nice little Friday night picnic up there last week and it was so enjoyable.  I definitely will be adding this to things to do around here.  Here are some shots of what we did together--I include the first one so you can see Meg is now cast-free and participating (with a limp) in more active family time.

Gillian took this and I felt like it just captured Meg's joy at the river.  She wanted to just sit at the water's edge and play the whole time.

Casey was off doing his own thing....

5.  Work meeting--our entire staff got together in Napa this week and here at the end of the table standing up is my boss.  She is lovely and tremendous and everyone I work with is incredible.  I can't say enough how much I love the job I have and the people I work with--though the travel has been really intense for everyone on our team, we still enjoyed the opportunity to hang out together during meals.

I need to remember to blog these as separate events rather than try to squeeze it in one post, but that is how I have felt anyway.

Maybe next week.

A Very Special Easter Phone Call

As I am slicing the bread to prepare for our soon-to-be lovely Easter Dinner, I get a phone call from a man named Cole who tells me of a lovely surprise:  Our stuff has arrived!

And though it is Easter Sunday, and though my uncle did not respond to my email a few weeks ago querying about where our items are, and though I am running late to serve up dinner, I am still pleased because I am tired of the same clothes I have been wearing for 8 weeks.

Cole says that he was planning on dropping off the stuff that day, but my uncle had told him not to deliver on Easter Sunday which I appreciated and then he asks me for the address.

The following conversation ensues:

Me:  ...Orem, Utah

Cole:  Wait, WHAT?  WHERE is THAT?

Me:  Uh, Utah?

Cole:  No, I mean, where in Utah?

Me:  Oh, it's about 45 minutes south of Salt Lake City

Cole:  SOUTH????

Me:  Wait, where are you?

Cole:  Ogden.  You say Orem is to the SOUTH?  I was told you were in Ogden.


Me:  No.  We have never lived in Ogden, we never planned on living in Ogden, and we never will live in Ogden.

Cole: [Silence]

Me:  So... we have a few things in the truck that we want at the house and then we will head over to storage which is just a mile away, is that okay?

Cole:  I was not told this is a two-part deal.

Me:  Okay well just show up at the house, okay?


For those of you not aware of Utah geography, here is a map for you:

If anyone is free, we will be unpacking around mid-morning.

And then no sleep til Brooklyn tomorrow pm.

O Women of Utah

For all the songs written about California girls, I wonder why no one has chosen to write one about the women of Utah.  

Take a ride with me as I have a flashback to my days at BYU...

I grew up in a small town.  I was in all the AP classes and on honor roll and I was student body president.  I was also in the band, worked a part-time job, and knew a lot of important people in my town.  I think I sat on a community council or two, and did some service at church.

When I went to BYU as an 18 year old girl, however, it became clear that I was a dime/dozen compared to the girls with far greater musical talent, leadership ability, academic focus, and most clearly at a young and vulnerable age, I was significantly less beautiful.  Don't try to comment on that, it is merely a fact.  If you went to BYU, you know I am not being humble.

Fortunately for me, I was able to quickly find good friends who seemed to love me just for me, to get through that very awkward phase and help usher me into a new era in which laughing and making fun of people having fun together trumped wallowing in self-pity.  

Serving a mission and focusing on others for 18 months of my young adulthood plus having a rewarding career in education has helped me to get over any self-esteem issues regarding my looks--well that and marrying a delusional man who still tells me I am beautiful even when I am wearing a holey T-shirt and yoga pants (a common event.)

Fast forward to the present in which I am suddenly underwhelmed at my life's achievements.  

Women here do not just have 4 children, they have 6...or 8....or 9.

They are fit--they run, they swim, they zumba, they run marathons.  In Paris.

They bake and do homemade crafts.  

They act or sing, run programs, and volunteer in the PTA.

They serve in church and they babysit people's children.  

They blog, they do podcasts, they run businesses.

I wish I could say that I confidently hold up my head and say I am your equal.  But I cannot.  I am intimidated and amazed by these women.

But for now I am going to let the peer pressure wash over me and I hope that I become a little more talented, a little more spiritual, and a little more fit so that I can benefit from the likes of these women and proudly say to those who do not know it is par for the course:

I am Lee Fleming

I have 4 kids.  I zumba.  I bake.  I save schools.  I serve in church and I babysit children.  I blog. I live in Utah and I am a Mormon. 

Daylight Savings and Other Offenses

For the record Daylight Savings is a travesty.

In other news:

1)  I love living in Utah.  I am shocked to see myself typing it, but I do.  There is nothing negative so far, all positives.  I repent of previous negativity towards the Beehive State.  More on this as I go.

2)  I am on my 6th week of Weight Watchers.  I have not really lost any weight as far as I know, but since I haven't seen my scale in 4 weeks, hard to tell by just looking. I think I have lost an inch off of my chin so far, and maybe one around my waist but much slower than expected.  I do feel excellent however.  My diet has switched from predominately whole grains to predominately vegetable and fruits.  I have no idea how it happened like that, but I will probably never go back.  My favorite recipe:

2 eggs
sauteed bell pepper
cayenne
nutmeg
laughing cow cheese wedge

So yummy. I cannot tell you enough how much I love that recipe.   My second favorite recipe:

blueberries
strawberries
pineapple
banana

I do feel guilty that half of this stuff is shipped from Costa Rica, but I decided to choose me over the planet.  So sorry Michael Polland, the situation was getting out of control.

3)  My in-laws invited me to Austria/Budapest.  I am short on time but feel like I should go for it.  I know the me of a few years ago would consider it idiotic to skip out, but for now the time commitment sounds like too much.

4)  My son created this in google sketch up for a castle project.  He was supposed to build it with cardboard or sugar cubes or something but I am done with that kind of business so I emailed and said "hey could he like, do this in google sketchup or something?"  So hours and hours later, after trying to free the monster I created by suggesting it, my son came up with this:

Here is the top view:

It may not look like much to you, but sketch-up is a bit tricky and requires some really good design-thinking stuff.  Did I say I was proud of him?  Anyway, he turns it in on Tuesday, I am excited to see how it went (although the bar was low, create some diorama and then label five parts).

5)  BYU ranked 3rd.  I know that I don't usually reference sports around here, but moving to Utah has brought a few things to the forefront (like my son suddenly hates the Utes for no apparent reason and my daughter claims to be a Jazz fan now.  Must be the bad influence of kids at school.) Anyway, I have to say that it has been more than interesting to hear everyone's take on the Honor Code.  I actually appreciate ESPN's support of the integrity of our program and our willingness to enforce the Honor Code even when it is a hard choice to make.  I am proud of BYU taking a stand (unlike the time when they had Dick Cheney as a keynote at graduation) and I appreciate being associated with a school that stands by a value system in a way that shocks the rest of the nation (a direct quote from an interview last week "Isn't this standard just unrealistic?  I mean, look at this first thing on the honor code, be honest--most coaches couldn't even live up to that one." )  Someone recently said to me "Wait, so you REMEMBER college?"  I had to tell him that it was not the first time I had heard the joke before and that I look forward to more innovative jokes in the future.

New situations

It has been nearly five years since moving and I have forgotten that making friends is kind of an effort.  So much effort sometimes because I just don't have the patience to wait it out and let the friendships naturally happen.

I blame Tiffany because it took me approximately 5 days to find her at *DT.  We were born to be friends you know--and I have been impatient ever since.  She did give me some sage advice this afternoon to "drop this obsession with trying to make friends everywhere you go" which I will always treasure as comforting words from my BFF.

I also remember Krissie whom I met before she was even in our ward and ten seconds later knew she was my kind of friend--so that doesn't help me wait it out.

Come to think of it, many whom I met when I first moved to Santa Barbara were people who I could relate to immediately because we were in a similar situation.

Yet at playgroup this last week in my new ward when a girl told me that she and her family were in "my same situation" because they lived with their in-laws, I wanted to say HEY I AM NOT IN A SITUATION.  But I need a friend so maybe I need to consider my situation the similar bonding material of graduate school lifestyle.

Fortunately I had lunch with the ever lovely Chellese who raised my spirits today and has committed to mandatory friendship time twice weekly.  Thank you again for saving me from my self-imposed constraints.

And right when I am sitting in front of my computer alone at night wondering if I will even make any friends at all, I recall my best freighbor of all time and how long it took us to find each other when she was right there all along.  I still sometimes cry over the lost time we could have had mocking reality tv show contestants.  And if I am patient, somewhere in this new life is a Katie hiding out.

I just need some good pick-up lines to sort her from the chaff so any advice on friend-making tips is welcome here.

*RIP

Togetherness

Since you asked, here is an explanation of why our family is apart until the end of March:

1)  We originally planned on leaving in December but had that opportunity for Steve to TA instead (blogged about it in December but too lazy to find the link)

2)  We were going to stay as a family but a number of things cropped up for us.  Most prominently, we lost our carpool family and it became a fairly big headache to try to operate business as usual on that schedule

3) Steve's parents were leaving on the 24th of February and I wanted to have the kids spend at least a couple of days with them before they left for their trip (I also wanted to have some time to discuss the house, agreements on use of space, etc.)

4)  What was once a very enjoyable experience at the kids' school was a pretty bad situation for my kids.  Bridget's group of friends almost entirely disappeared (7 of her friends left her class from the beginning of last year until the carpool friend, who was her best, closest friend), Casey was really unhappy with school (the kids were really mean to each other and the teacher and I don't have the same values) and I felt like I had to bribe them to get out of bed everyday.

5)  The school really lost the interesting and unique edge that it had and simply became a low performing school.  The last week of school they had posted their API goal (for those outside of California, that is the number that summarizes how you did on your state tests) on every door in the classroom and were trying to get the kids excited about test scores.  I don't care if that is an effective method of bumping up a few points, who wants to be at a school whose goal is to increase their test scores?  After sacrificing an entire year of our family time for the school, it was tough to see that the way they were implementing the plans I helped write in a way that was so contrary to their original purpose.  I am not angry or disappointed, I just can't watch it.  If my kids had been happy we would have stayed but since it was such drudgery to them (at least the oldest two) I couldn't really find it in myself to say "no, really kids, things are great!"

6)  Steve really needs some time to get a good start on his dissertation.  Between driving the kids to school on the days he wasn't teaching, and trying to manage the household while I am working, he was getting very little time.

7)  I have an increased number of conference calls these days and getting a place where there are no kid sounds in the background in a small apartment is almost impossible.

8)  Trying to move and also keep clean a two-bedroom apartment with 4 kids in it= muy malo.  


So... did we improve our lifestyle by making the move?

New Commute= 7 minutes WITH traffic.  Niiice. Not to mention that school starts at 8:15, 15 minutes later than school started there.  Double nice.  We have a garage to mitigate some of the effects of living in a cold climate= triple the happiness.

Grandparent Time= wonderful.  We got to spend a nice couple of days with grandma and grandpa and it was genuinely fantastic.  We were able to have a good conversation about expectations for the house and use of space and hang out with the family in general.

School Experience= In spite of a bumpy first day registration, the kids are glowingly happy with school.  They come home every day reporting how nice the kids are to each other.  There is no bullying at their school, the kids don't use bad language, they share stuff on the playground, they accepted my children as peers immediately, and the school is not low performing.  The school is not particularly innovative and the level of Spanish is decidedly low rigor (Bridget brought home some homework with pictures of farm animals asking if they were *ciudad or campo which is something that she would have done in Kinder in our previous school) but at least they are getting Spanish at all.  The teachers send me an email on Fridays with updates for the week, everyone there is really friendly.  Even the secretaries after day one have been decidedly NICE.  No one has a hard time getting out of bed and they are all happy to go to school because it is FUN.  Imagine.  Learning is fun.

Steve= This has been the one serious downside. I really underestimated the impact of missing my husband like this.  We have been apart off and on during our marriage but this is different.  With lifestyle changes like we are experiencing,  I want to discuss with him every little detail of the day.  I think he is spared some really boring conversations with me, but I am just lonely for his company.  This is his culture, the land of his birth, and I feel like a foreigner seeing things through eyes of an emigrant.  I know it sounds funny, but all of our visits here and living here when younger were not real.  I never opened a bank account here or needed to get a Utah driver's license.   In terms of his productivity, only he can say.  Is that working for you?  I hope that he is getting a lot done though he is doing all the moving (totally huge fringe benefit for me.)

Home Life= Oh.  My.  What a difference square footage makes.  Don't let anyone tell you differently.  With JUST the downstairs area, I feel like I live in a palace.  The space is unbelievable and my kids seem to have a ton more to do with just a little more space. Fighting still occurs, but over the rules of games and rough housing, not space or toys.  When I have a call, I can walk in the next room and barely hear my children as they beat each other!  I won't go on and on about the benefits of living in this place but know that I am happy on that end.

It was the right thing to move here.  In spite of the temporary pain of separation, this was definitely a good decision for my children and ultimately, for me.

Reflections at week 1

Cheers

--Chellese.  Highlight of my week, I have not followed up to let you know how deeply I appreciate the facetime even if short.
--More square footage.  MORE SQUARE FOOTAGE.
--Amenities like dishwasher, washer, dryer, and cable TV.
--Family.  Living with my sis and bro-in-law has been really wonderful--like coming home or something.
--New people to get to know at church and at school.
--Hanging out with my kids all the time.
--Savers.
--Target. 
--Seeing friends in all directions that we have known for a long time.  I have a list to get through but it feels safe and secure knowing how many friends there are around.
--Snow.  Beautiful.
--So many Mormons!

Jeers

--Cold.  So cold that you just don't want to go places.
--Not knowing anyone on my daily pathway.
--Moving sans husband.  Very. Sad. Idea.
--Dry hands.  I have to lather on the lotion and it still isn't enough.
--Spending money on "start up" stuff like food basics
--Figuring out how to get new bank account and transfer over all those automatic payments, UGH.
--So many Mormons!

I miss Steve, love my kids, and have really enjoyed the family-friendly status of Utah.  I could live here and like it. I just really need to get friends on my daily routine because I keep trying to make all casual encounters with the checkout people at grocery stores more meaningful.  Someone please save me from myself.

Retraction

Okay not really a full retraction, but I have to say two things happened today:

1) K. Cook leaving a very wise comment about our old stomping ground and remembering back to the days that I was really upset at the kids school prior to going through major upheaval with them.  And when I left, I cried for real.  So the wisdom of perspective was useful, thanks chica!

2) I got a phone call from the school secretary #1 apologizing for this morning and explaining that it was hectic.

I think I overreacted because I am by myself with the kids and that is getting super old.  I miss Steve for a million other reasons too.

The other reason I overreacted is because there are two full tracks at this school!  I am a small school girl, not a fiddy bejillion kid school girl. 

The up news?  One of the kids is going to have Alpine School District teacher of the year! 

Very exciting and thanks for being my friend and putting up with my rants.  You were very helpful.

So, in the immortal words of my bff, "I am reserving judgement" for now. 

Joys of Unpacking

The last 24 hours...

Steve's advisor:   So... I think you should stay here until March.

Steve and Lee:  Uh.  We already have started planning our own going away party.

Steve's advisor:  Well, okay.  But I am making a case for you to stay, take this great job as a TA to enhance your resume and we can make sure you are really focused on your dissertation before we send you off into the wild yonder with all those Mormons.  Also, I think you should apply for this awesome fellowship that you don't actually quality for.

Steve and Lee:  uh....

Bridget:  No, I want to move!!!

Lee:  I want a washing machine

Steve:  I like the Mountains

Friends at dinner last night:  The most important thing for you is relationships with faculty, but if you feel like you have been around long enough to establish those relationships, then good for you.

Steve:  Uhhh....

This morning:

Lee:  I hate the cold. Plus Lisa Nicholes is awesome.

Steve:  I like to run here.  Plus I can make some money.

Bridget:  I better get some ballroom dance classes if we are staying here.

So friends... we are delaying our move to Utah until March.    Mainly because I want to hold an "Ides of March" going away party.

Update on the Utah Move

People have been asking, so I will fill you in here:

• We plan on sticking around in Santa Barbara until December 20th at which time we will hop on through Vegas on the way to Orem where the kids and I will stay.  Steve will come back to SB the first week of January, finish cleaning and be here to greet our moving truck on the 6th and join us in Utah.
• We will be living in the basement of my in-laws home until the end of the schoolyear and then we will be finding our own place in June
• Steve's parents are going on sabbatical to Austria from February-June so we will be co-habitating with them for only a few months prior to their departure
• The basement, for those who do not know, has approximately four times the square footage of our apartment.  That is just the basement.  It includes a full kitchen (with a dishwasher) and a laundry room so we will not have to take up space in his parent's place.
• The kids will be attending a local elementary school in Orem that has a bilingual program--but only 2-6 grades, so Gillian will have to flip back to English for a few months prior to enrolling in the program.  But we couldn't get her in anywhere else because apparently there are a ton of 1st graders trying to get into all of these programs.
• No we do not have appropriate shoes for the winter, we will be purchasing them along with some other items when we move.

The following items are available free for anyone in SB who is interested:

• A loft bed complete with a dresser and a shelving unit. The drawers sometimes don't close all the way, but we have lived with it for two years and it has worked fine
• A king-sized bed and mattresses, only 12 years old.  We will include a foam mattress topper that is only a year old, or you can claim just the mattress topper
• A rolltop desk
• A bunch of stuffed animals
• Several games with missing pieces
• Two broken bookshelves
• A futon that pulls out to make a bed.  Please claim this one immediately before my husband tries to insist we bring it with us.
• Dinner plates and bowls that do not match.  Also a bunch of unmatched silverware.

You can stop drooling now and hit me up on the blog or via email with your request