For Posterity (and Rainy Days)

We've had bad luck with our kids.--they've all grown up.  
-Christopher Morley



Yesterday I woke up to a lovely poem on my nephew's 17th birthday:

This is what my nephew looks like now:

Yikes!!! I think I am getting older because I am in the same place these days.  My son is only 14, but I am feeling a similar nostalgia about him aging and going away.  I am recording this today as proof that having 4 small children actually pays off at some point.  I remember when a friend of mine had her first baby she said something like "You know before I had kids, I thought it was going to be 90% and 10% fun.  But when I actually had a baby, it turns out it was 10% work and 90% fun."  When she said that I thought she was so sweet but a little crazy.  It IS 90% work!!! 

But now, now that my youngest child is in kinder, I am getting there.  I still feel that my younger kids are high levels of work--they are always wanting things like food and help finding shoes.  But my older children, wow, what a sweet payoff.

They used to ask for stuff.  When they were this size:

But lately, when they call and ask "hey can I stay at my friend's house?"  I feel like saying "No!!! come hang out with me!!!" But I don't really have a reason to say no, so I just say "I guess.  Be home by 5:30."  

Because this is what it is like to hang out with them now:

And the feeling is bittersweet--because just as I like them more, they like other people more.  Just as I want to hang out with them and play games or watch youtube videos of stupid music videos from my childhood, they want to come home late from doing more fun things with their friends.

Soon enough, these wonderful little children will become actual adults and move out while I will be left wondering why I found cooking dinner such a chore after all.

I suppose having 4 children at least gives me a little extra time because while they are still asking for stuff and needing stuff, they are getting pretty fun too:

And even now, as I am posting this, I am worried about my kids' grades, their friendships, and developing the spirituality in my children.  But when Jenny posted her poem about her oldest child, it gave me a fleeting glance into my own future in which I am reluctant to let my kids go, I am devastated that they are leaving me and my first act as an empty nester is to show up on the doorstep of some poor child of mine and say "Hey, come home and watch this Jimmy Fallon bit with me."  

And their roommates will look them in the eye and whisper "Make sure she takes you food shopping while you are out."

Fairness and Equity (or, Teachable Moments Gone Bad)

Last night I made the mistake of trying to teach my children about equity and justice by taking advantage of a "teachable moment" when my eldest daughter's civil disobedience took the form of dereliction of duty on her chores.

Bridget didn't understand why she had to do her chore three times (dishes) and her brother only did his twice (cleaning off the counter tops).

The following conversation ensued:

Mom: Look, it is spring break, you are generating more dishes so when it is your day to do that job, you will do it more frequently.  So will the person who is on garbage, that is just the way it works.  I believe in equity, not fairness.

Bridget:  What is the difference?

Mom:  Equity means that every person has an equal shot at society (this is where I start to degenerate and change the point of my argument with her).  Say a family has their house burn down, the parents both lose their jobs, and the kids don't have anything to eat.  Then another family, with parents who have a good job and a big house, they are eating a frosty for dessert (gesturing to our own frosty desserts on the table).  They both go to the food bank, who should get the dinner?

Bridget:  They both should get the same amount (said with sarcasm).

Mom: You are a jerk.  I am not raising kids who believe that.

Casey:  That is a bad example.

Bridget:  Why would the rich family be at the food bank?

Casey: Duh, because they are giving the food bank food

Steve:  Wait, what if they are at the food bank because they feel entitled and just want more food?

Bridget: No, let me give you an example, there is a short guy, a medium guy, and a tall guy.  There are all these crates and they are trying to watch a game.  They each get a crate.  And then someone comes along and says "Hey, those guys didn't even buy tickets to watch the game, why are they getting to watch it for free?"

Needless to say, I did the dishes myself (though I did guilt trip her the entire time, resulting in a clean living room.)

Junior High Romance

My son is a nice kid.

He is 13.

He has never once expressed an interest in girls and I have never asked.  But this summer, a cute little girl at church came up to me during a campout we were on and the following conversation ensued:

Girl:  Do you know who your son likes?

Me:  No.  We don't talk about these things.

Girl:  I know.   I know who he likes.

Me:  I don't want to know.  It would be too embarrassing.  He wouldn't want me to know.

Girl:  Me.  He likes me.

Me:  Lalalalalalala {covering ears}

Girl: No, he does, for real.  I know because he was getting mad at his friend for chatting with me on facebook.

Me: LALALALALALALALA

Girl:  It's true.  Seriously.  Isn't that cute?

This was my official maturation as a mother.  I don't know why I am not the kind of mom who wants to know these things, but I just can't handle it.  My mom constantly, constantly asked if I liked boys.  I always had some boy I liked, never told her.  As a kid, I kind of felt like it was none of her business, and as a mom, I feel the same way.  Not my business.  Unless you want to try to sneak her in your window at night, then it definitely would be my business.

So this same little girl gave a talk at church on Sunday and I noticed that his friend in front of him kept turning around and they were exchanging glances.  I kept looking for some distracting item in the row and then I realized that it was the girl.  The girl! 

So this is the conversation that happened yesterday on the couch:

Me:  Son, do you like girls?

Son:  {no hesitation} yes.

{pause for information note: this child NEVER says yes outright unless he is arguing with his sister.  He answers nearly every question with an "I dunno" so for him to say yes is a resounding YES}

Me:  Do you like A girl?

Son: {no hesitation} yes.

Me: Does she know?

Son: I don't know, I think so.

Me:  What would you do if she liked you back?

Son: That would be awesome?

Me:  But what would you DO?  I mean, what does that even mean?

Son:  Mom, I wouldn't do anything, I am 13.

That's right son, that is right.  

But... I feel so... strange!  And now my little girl wears a bra that she can actually fill and started going to the mall and referring to boys as guys and I think when did this happen?  When did my children become people?  People who like other people?

It is both what I have always wanted and what I have feared.  I wanted them to grow up, but not to start to LIKE people!  I don't want them to have a crush because it means inevitable heartbreak--either the object of the crush will not like them, a devastating blow when someone reveals the information as your well-intentioned friends are (Landee, you know who you are) or the person will return the feelings and it will end in some relationship that will go in the direction in some other hormonal-driven thing.

Can't they have more innocent crushes like my junior high crush?

I don't remember thinking about this when we decided to have children, but I am in this for the long haul and I am woefully unprepared.  I will end with an original poem:

 

Oh to the children of the junior high

All your crushes are the apple of some mommy's eye

If and when you decide to reject some love offer

Remember the fragility of the heart that doth proffer

Should you decide to accept some little girl or boy

Just keep in mind that it isn't the real McCoy

Please remember this time in your life is just for harmless fun

Or I will have to change my mind about owning a gun

 

   

Junior High Humor

Dear, _______  Thank you for serving our country in the wars we are in. I am writing this to you because my teacher, your sister, assigned me to write this letter to you. What war are you serving in, Afghanistan or Iraq? I’ve heard that no one can send you any packages/gifts because otherwise your whole group gets punished. Are you already in the war or are you just training? If you’re just training then how soon will you be in the war? I’m sorry I am asking all these questions but all my teacher told me was that you were a soldier or were about to be one and that it was pretty tiring or hard. Hopefully you made some friends there otherwise I would feel bad for you because I probably wouldn’t last a day with all that training and without any good friends. You’re probably lucky I typed this because otherwise you probably couldn’t read my handwriting and would have a lot less words to read. By the way I’m in seventh grade and am at xx jr high school. You probably knew that I lived in Utah because most of your family lives here and to you it wouldn’t seem that your sister would leave Utah to get a job. Anyways my name is Casey and i’m probably the awesomest person that will ever write you a letter and you should feel bad for the other people who write you letters because whenever you see mine you’ll just think mine’s too cool for theirs’. I’m sorry that I am kind of bringing up random topics but I have to feel up my page for this assignment and it’s hard to think of stuff when your teacher doesn’t tell you much about the person you’re writing to. So, thank you for everything you’re doing right now by serving the best country in the world(you know the one, America) because we should win every war because we’ve have only lost one war and that’s because Vietnam are cheaters. I bet just having you, just one single person, will change the war because I bet you’re the best person and we would lose without you. That’s probably the reason we lost the Vietnam War, because they didn’t have you in it. I bet if I met you in person you would be cool because you’re sister is. Also I am not even going to know your name until a couple days because my teacher didn’t even tell me yet. That means your name after “Dear,” is going to be written like the day I send this letter. Even though this is the best letter ever you’re probably wasting your time reading this because you have other things to do and even the best things aren’t perfect. By the way those last five words are a pretty good lesson for life and on not being optimistic. But now is a good time to be optimistic because you are doing your duty in serving this war. I don’t feel bad that we can’t send packages to you because even if someone could send cookies to you or something they would probably become melted and gross. But of course you could handle that because you’re in the military and super macho. Oh yeah when you reply any other kids don’t forget to say sorry that mine is better than theirs. You probably think this letter is pathetic because I should be more serious and the whole reason I sent you this letter is because I should be thankful for you serving our country but I said it twice and if you knew me well you would think that that is pretty good because I’m not the nicest person I know. I’m really hoping you’re one of those guys who has a sense of humor otherwise I might not like you because humor and talking are my life. Please don’t get offended that I might not like you and that would be because you wouldn’t have a sense of humor but as you would know that people have their ways. Oh yes I’m almost done with this letter, you should forget that this is the best letter ever and I bet you’re as excited as me that this is over because you probably hated this. In the end  thank you for serving me, you and your family because this is America. (that was corny)      Sincerely, your half friend Casey P.S I ran out of room P.P.S Reply Please.

Various kidlets

First, a detailed description of Meg's potty routine:



Second, a sample of the constant soundtrack that is my tweener son. 

First Day of School

The first day of school I happily packed my children off to school in their perfectly coordinated outfits, new backpacks, and polished shoes.

Just kidding.  I missed the first day of school for my kids.  All of them.  So I have no photographic evidence of my son's major ascension to junior high school. 

However, I did some parental duty this weekend and bought them all overpriced binders and helped them organize their schoolwork.  I also purchased for Casey a high quality trombone (well, rented) and bought a bunch of little unnecessary school supplies in an attempt to buy my children's love as I realized I was going to miss the first band concert due to work travel.

I honestly wish I didn't love the work I do so much because it would be a NO brainer to quit this deal.  Every single Sunday I brainstorm alternative ways to work in education, like going back into the classroom, trying to find a job with the school district, or a volunteer position like school board member or some other no-travel position.  But then Monday hits, I get an email on brainstorming ideas for a project, I have a conference call scheduled to save the world and WHAM I am sucked back into national work.

In an attempt to save my aforementioned neglect, I did snap a photo of my eldest this morning, his first day with the new trombone and I have to say that I am so happy with his school right now.  He is happy, the teachers seem to be exciting and fun, and so far, it is living up to my newly found Utah standards.

Isn't he lovely?

Why Spring Break is Super Lame

You know, I used to love Spring Break.  In my former life when I went to college and was in a sorority and drank a lot of alcohol.  I think I must have lived in the 1950s.

In this reincarnation, however, I have apparently moved down a caste.  I have descended to the lowly life of a normal human being who does not understand the impulse to give kids a break midway through the year.

You might be thinking to yourself, but you were a TEACHER. Yes.  Yes I was.  And do you know what I did over spring break?  Grade papers and develop curriculum.  What part of that sounds like a break?

In honor of this pointless, pagan ritual, I am posting a top ten:

Top Ten Quotes Exemplifying Why I Loathe Spring Break

1.  "But, why do we have to go to bed at all if we don't have to get up and go to school?"

2.  "Why do we have to do TWO chores" (this would have pulled at my heart strings as I hate chores myself, but honestly, they didn't even do one so no sympathy after all)

3.  "OWWWW!!!! STOP HITTING ME!!!!"

4.  "Can we watch another movie (after going to the theater)?"

5.  "I am bored."

6.  "But I finished my book!  How can I read any more?"

7.  "OWWWW!! CASEY!!!"

8.  "Can I eat some more of your really awesome special food that you buy for yourself and I normally don't have access to because I am at school?"

9.  "So they canceled all church activities because of Spring Break."

10.  "Can we go somewhere?"

Maybe next year I will take the week off and take my kids to Mexico so they can say things like "Estoy aburrido" and "no me toques, Casey!"

Daylight Savings and Other Offenses

For the record Daylight Savings is a travesty.

In other news:

1)  I love living in Utah.  I am shocked to see myself typing it, but I do.  There is nothing negative so far, all positives.  I repent of previous negativity towards the Beehive State.  More on this as I go.

2)  I am on my 6th week of Weight Watchers.  I have not really lost any weight as far as I know, but since I haven't seen my scale in 4 weeks, hard to tell by just looking. I think I have lost an inch off of my chin so far, and maybe one around my waist but much slower than expected.  I do feel excellent however.  My diet has switched from predominately whole grains to predominately vegetable and fruits.  I have no idea how it happened like that, but I will probably never go back.  My favorite recipe:

2 eggs
sauteed bell pepper
cayenne
nutmeg
laughing cow cheese wedge

So yummy. I cannot tell you enough how much I love that recipe.   My second favorite recipe:

blueberries
strawberries
pineapple
banana

I do feel guilty that half of this stuff is shipped from Costa Rica, but I decided to choose me over the planet.  So sorry Michael Polland, the situation was getting out of control.

3)  My in-laws invited me to Austria/Budapest.  I am short on time but feel like I should go for it.  I know the me of a few years ago would consider it idiotic to skip out, but for now the time commitment sounds like too much.

4)  My son created this in google sketch up for a castle project.  He was supposed to build it with cardboard or sugar cubes or something but I am done with that kind of business so I emailed and said "hey could he like, do this in google sketchup or something?"  So hours and hours later, after trying to free the monster I created by suggesting it, my son came up with this:

Here is the top view:

It may not look like much to you, but sketch-up is a bit tricky and requires some really good design-thinking stuff.  Did I say I was proud of him?  Anyway, he turns it in on Tuesday, I am excited to see how it went (although the bar was low, create some diorama and then label five parts).

5)  BYU ranked 3rd.  I know that I don't usually reference sports around here, but moving to Utah has brought a few things to the forefront (like my son suddenly hates the Utes for no apparent reason and my daughter claims to be a Jazz fan now.  Must be the bad influence of kids at school.) Anyway, I have to say that it has been more than interesting to hear everyone's take on the Honor Code.  I actually appreciate ESPN's support of the integrity of our program and our willingness to enforce the Honor Code even when it is a hard choice to make.  I am proud of BYU taking a stand (unlike the time when they had Dick Cheney as a keynote at graduation) and I appreciate being associated with a school that stands by a value system in a way that shocks the rest of the nation (a direct quote from an interview last week "Isn't this standard just unrealistic?  I mean, look at this first thing on the honor code, be honest--most coaches couldn't even live up to that one." )  Someone recently said to me "Wait, so you REMEMBER college?"  I had to tell him that it was not the first time I had heard the joke before and that I look forward to more innovative jokes in the future.

Happy Halloween

I think I have a bunch of other updates/explanations for my lack of participation in srbc but for now will stick with the current:

Happy Halloween breakfast for kids:

Puffy German Pancake. I originally got this recipe in college from my friend Emily but in the end had to look it up online and it called for using my cast iron pan. It was tasty. And of course I used whole wheat.

For the last several weeks my time has been taken by either traveling a ton (gone last 3 of 4 weeks) or by sewing this trench coat for Bridget's spy costume. She was happy and honestly I was pretty proud of the way it turned out for like 5 minutes.  Until I kept looking at it...

Bridget was my only child who cared about her costume.  Casey didn't bother because he is too old apparently.  But he did want candy so last minute grabbed a cloak from a few years ago.  And some paint from his Grandma halloween package.  He wanted to paint his skin black but I felt weird about that so we went with green.



















Gillian was a princess and then decided to be a vampire.  Bridget fortunately talked her into believing their makeup would be the same and anything involving makeup is a fun costume.  Apparently I didn't get a shot of her in the franticity.  Is that a word?

Next up Megs.  She refused to wear a costume in spite of looking so scrumptious in all of them:

Try #1:

Try #2:























Try #3 and final selection--bribed with "candy" to get her to get dressed (candy=fruit snacks)

For the actual trunk or treat event I tried to straighten her hair.  She looked really wild but it was fun--she refused to sit still and her hair was already fighting the straightness.

Here is our fancy trunk decoration:

And of course last minute we made Steve throw on a costume--one of my Blouses and a pirate hat from the costume box.  He wasn't too into it but he was a good sport about it. He looked adorable, really.

Since today is Sunday, we have a low key evening and we are having dinner with some friends instead of going out--I thought the kids would feel back but they got plenty of candy last night at the church Trunk or Treat so we are in good shape.  Have a bountiful Halloween of your own!

What Scouts Do in Santa Barbara

Casey's first official Boy Scout camping trip.  He loved it.

Birthday Celebrations

A Pirate theme...

Sound like a fun idea.  This ^^^ is the party I attended exactly two hours before the party we threw for our kids.  Needless to say, do not go a party the day you are hosting one because it just sets the bar unbelievably high.  Unless it is a moving themed party.

I asked my own kids what theme they wanted and the response was: Food.

So we had a food themed party, which I can't really say is radically different than any other party we throw.  Here are the shots of our food:

Behind the fruit salad was the bruschetta so here is the much requested recipe for y'all.  The bread, fyi, was a combo of the Trader Joes' Multigrain, the Albertson's French and a loaf of sourdough from Our Daily Bread. Did you know that the Goleta weird Albertson's (over by TJs) sells bread from Our Daily Bread?  So good. 

The Graham Crackers were actually Fruit S'mores which I really liked for kids treats.  Super easy, cream cheese and brown sugar spread on the crackers, then fruit--we did a slice of strawberry, a half blackberry and two halves of raspberries.  

Then the cardinal sin of kitchens, I actually used a jar product to appease my children and I still regret it.  I wanted to make my own nacho cheese sauce but they insisted I buy this stuff.  AND they didn't even like it ("this cheese is yucky"--duh!)

Gross.  But we did have some other stuff for the nacho bar:

Each of the kids also got their own cake.  Bonus points to those who know which character is featured on the cupcakes.  Doesn't count if you came to the party.

And party cake numero dos:

It was my first time ever making roses so no mocking.

And the last one that took the most amount of time and really looks the least appetizing:

Yes I am a short-order baker one time a year.  This is my attempt to show love via baking--which kinds of the ways of showing love is that? Time?

We always do a treasure hunt, also related to the food theme because they got a lot of chocolate.  Steve created 44 clues, 4 treasure hunts, and a very complex party experience.  A few parents were concerned that we lost the five year old group but they all appeared eventually, none the worse for the wear.  Safety in numbers, remember that.

Some of the treasure seekers:

Remember this kid in white ^^^

If this were Friday, it would my favorite foto.  The kid in white I told you to remember?  He is hilarious.  His older brother is too, they are the same ages as my 2 and 3 and in their respective classes as school.  So the kid brings a gift in a bag with the following note:

Translation:  do you like the Dodgers?  If you like the Dodgers then open this.

So in spite of not having any intention of becoming a *fan, she did indeed open the bag which yielded a stained and well-used jersey from the kid.  He, btw, is 5,and he gave the gift to my daughter turning 8. His mother suggested he give it to Gillian instead, but he insisted that he wanted Bridget to have it.  I thought this was the best gift of the day and provided a great memory for everyone in the family who got a kick out of it.  A gift lasts a few days but a hilarious memory lasts a lifetime.  

Thanks to everyone who came, especially those who gave us these GREAT games that we have been loving for hours:

Blokus

Set

I have no idea who the giver was of these gifts but Set is seriously THE best game.  Too bad my family members cannot seem to beat me.  Katie another reason that I need you to stick around and provide me with some competition.

*A joke I once heard from this guy:

A guy was heading down to watch a Dodgers game and realized halfway to the stadium he forgot his tickets in his car on the dashboard.  He walked back to his car and saw that someone had broken into his car windshield... and placed two more Dodger's tickets on the dash.