When your children are very small, you put on their clothes, they don't tell you they don't like the outfit, and you put them in the car. They don't ask who is going to be there, if there are children of the same age, or if they are going to be traveling on a Sunday. They just go.
And sure they cry, sure they don't sleep, they might even have an explosive diaper situation. But they don't tell you "hey you are ruining my life by dragging me around."
Enter adolescence.
My children now insist on picking their own clothing. Don't you think this dress is delightful?
Wouldn't it be cute to see your girls dressed together in this dress?
Well too bad for you. Because they want this one:
Do they care that it is unflattering? Do they care that it is more expensive? Do they? Huh?
No. They do not.
And there are other things they care about now like dinner. Food they have eaten for years and loved they suddenly are suspicious of, like many other things that their parents do.
They want to stay up late.
They want to argue a point for the sake of their point (like their father).
They watch the debates and have an opinion. Nothing of consequence, it might be about an outfit or a funny word that someone says but still it is an opinion in the making.
They stop me every 15 seconds while we are reading a book aloud together and want to make a commentary.
They want to tell each other what to do even when I don't care (things like "mom told you to put that cup back on the counter, do it!!" or "why are you reading such a stupid book? you should read something better." ) Really? Really? Aren't two parents enough? Aren't my rules stringent enough, you are now making new stupid rules?
In short, my children have become people.
And living with more people is always more complicated.
But lest you think this post is a complaint, let me reassure you that there are some side benefits to this.
My children now feed themselves. They even occasionally help me while I make food for them. It has even become a phenomenon for one of my children to look up a recipe, make a dish, and share with others unprompted.
When Steve and I want to go to the movies, we can assign them simple tasks like "keep the house clean and we will pay you an extra dollar."
They defend me against their siblings who may be trying to break my will.
They bring in groceries, do chores, and can once in while, volunteer to help. Once in a long while.
While I may despise their taste in clothing, each of my children is developing their own sense of style and I am starting to see that they are actually better at dressing themselves than I am.
But the single greatest change that has occurred in the chaos of this aging, hormonal, frustrating phase is that I finally feel like I was meant to be a mother.
Some of you out there may like the babies, and I will admit there is a certain yumminess in our house gone forever. But after the dust of infancy and toddlerhood begins to clear, I look at my offspring and I think to myself that it was a truly worthy investment for the joy I will experience for the rest of my life.
Agree. Agree. Agree. My personality is much better suited to older kids and adults rather than floppy squishy babies (may that phase of my life RIP).
ReplyDeleteMy but I loved this post. Witty, funny, touching. So very Lee.
ReplyDeleteIt is true.... babies don't tend to respond well to sarcasm and witty commentaries on society.
ReplyDeleteHere's to the rest of our lives!
Fantastic post. I loved reading that they get more interesting, though exhausting, as the years pass. And I've never been a fan of the infancy stage either. The teen years scare me, but you make it sound entertaining, at least.
ReplyDeleteThe reward for surviving infancy and adolescence with kids is that they become adults and cheer you on on 500-mile bike rides, give you courage to live in strange places and serve missions, and keep the home fires burning. And you generally remember only the good and funny stuff from when life was difficult.
ReplyDeletePaula from Bogotá