parent like I was hoping. So my son wrote me this note to cheer me up.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Family
parent like I was hoping. So my son wrote me this note to cheer me up.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Sprinkled Donuts
I wanted to be super mom.
What better way to be super mom to your kids than to run out and grab them fresh donuts for breakfast from Anna's Bakery?
But super moms are women who know their children and who will look in the face of the baker and say "no, I need three sprinkled donuts, not one."
I am just an average mom, intimidated by the man behind the glass who in his crazy mind thinks that a plain donut is just as good, so I just took the one sprinkled, the one glazed, the one chocolate covered, the one cake, and the old-fashioned glazed with chocolate and the one glazed blueberry (which has to be unpopular) and walked out the door off to charm my children.
Instead I was mean mom due to the scarcity created by the youngest child getting the sprinkled as the first one with her shoes on. My eldest child pulled the same trick on me Saturday night when I brought home the Habit and his burger didn't have lettuce (I gave up my tasty terikayi burger with swiss and took his lame kids' burger and went into my room proclaiming that I wanted to be alone where my kids couldn't be unappreciative.) And by the way if I tried to serve up some lettuce in another form, like salad, I would be mean mom too.
In expression of his anger over the sprinkled donut this morning (after shoving a glazed down in one bite) he refused to take his lunch to which Steve said "boy that is smart." Casey's response? Well it WOULDN'T be smart because I would THROW UP if I ate it because it is so disgusting.
All because I only got one sprinkled donut.
I keep telling myself that the secret to life is low expectations yet I set myself up over and over again.
So much for super mom.
What better way to be super mom to your kids than to run out and grab them fresh donuts for breakfast from Anna's Bakery?
But super moms are women who know their children and who will look in the face of the baker and say "no, I need three sprinkled donuts, not one."
I am just an average mom, intimidated by the man behind the glass who in his crazy mind thinks that a plain donut is just as good, so I just took the one sprinkled, the one glazed, the one chocolate covered, the one cake, and the old-fashioned glazed with chocolate and the one glazed blueberry (which has to be unpopular) and walked out the door off to charm my children.
Instead I was mean mom due to the scarcity created by the youngest child getting the sprinkled as the first one with her shoes on. My eldest child pulled the same trick on me Saturday night when I brought home the Habit and his burger didn't have lettuce (I gave up my tasty terikayi burger with swiss and took his lame kids' burger and went into my room proclaiming that I wanted to be alone where my kids couldn't be unappreciative.) And by the way if I tried to serve up some lettuce in another form, like salad, I would be mean mom too.
In expression of his anger over the sprinkled donut this morning (after shoving a glazed down in one bite) he refused to take his lunch to which Steve said "boy that is smart." Casey's response? Well it WOULDN'T be smart because I would THROW UP if I ate it because it is so disgusting.
All because I only got one sprinkled donut.
I keep telling myself that the secret to life is low expectations yet I set myself up over and over again.
So much for super mom.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Emotional Side of a Disease
My poor Gillian is a wreck.
She has always been emotional but these days she is a walking tantrum. I am trying to determine what is okay and what has to be handled differently around our house.
I know she is in pain but I just can't tell what is going on--she says that both legs hurt now sometimes but she isn't limping anymore. I need to get some support from the doctoro for both what is going on physically as well as how I can help her cope during my next appointment.
Which is Wednesday.
It might not sound like a big deal, but when your child could be in pain all day, how hard do you come down on her for falling apart at the seams? When does her tantrum become a behavior problem?
So here is what I have come up with and I would love any other advice on this:
1) Crying is okay as long as it isn't loud and disturbing the peace in general. This behavior is preferred in your room but you can do it quietly anywhere.
2) If you are hurting you need to tell mommy so she can help you or get you medicine if you need it.
3) Just because you are tired or hurt, that doesn't make it okay to be mean to people. No yelling "I hate you Bridget" or hitting mommy because you are mad. You still have to be nice.
4) If you do have a tantrum, we are canceling any activities for the afternoon and going straight home (this is tougher to enforce because it messes up the other kids sometimes.)
5) Majority still rules. You don't get two votes because you hurt. This is the toughest one because usually you are irrational by the time we are voting. Example: Do you want to watch Madagascar 2 or Up? 2 vote for Up and you vote for Madagascar. You still lose, even if you are super grumpy and sick and tired. Also, 2 votes for the Habit beats your 1 vote for Jack-in-the-Box. PS The Habit is way better anyway.
6) When you have your second tantrum within five minutes of the previous one, just go to bed.
So... these seem really simple, but when you have four children and one of them is constantly crying, it is really sad. Once she went to bed at 4:30 pm and it was the nicest evening we have had in a very long time. I feel bad saying that but it is true.
I know she has always been emotional but I so rarely get to see her joyful little smile these days, it makes me extremely sad. Any advice is appreciated. If you saw how sad she was all the time it would tear at your little heartstrings. Remember how cute her happy face and her crocodile tears for the saddy from this post? Cry for me, Argentina.
She has always been emotional but these days she is a walking tantrum. I am trying to determine what is okay and what has to be handled differently around our house.
I know she is in pain but I just can't tell what is going on--she says that both legs hurt now sometimes but she isn't limping anymore. I need to get some support from the doctoro for both what is going on physically as well as how I can help her cope during my next appointment.
Which is Wednesday.
It might not sound like a big deal, but when your child could be in pain all day, how hard do you come down on her for falling apart at the seams? When does her tantrum become a behavior problem?
So here is what I have come up with and I would love any other advice on this:
1) Crying is okay as long as it isn't loud and disturbing the peace in general. This behavior is preferred in your room but you can do it quietly anywhere.
2) If you are hurting you need to tell mommy so she can help you or get you medicine if you need it.
3) Just because you are tired or hurt, that doesn't make it okay to be mean to people. No yelling "I hate you Bridget" or hitting mommy because you are mad. You still have to be nice.
4) If you do have a tantrum, we are canceling any activities for the afternoon and going straight home (this is tougher to enforce because it messes up the other kids sometimes.)
5) Majority still rules. You don't get two votes because you hurt. This is the toughest one because usually you are irrational by the time we are voting. Example: Do you want to watch Madagascar 2 or Up? 2 vote for Up and you vote for Madagascar. You still lose, even if you are super grumpy and sick and tired. Also, 2 votes for the Habit beats your 1 vote for Jack-in-the-Box. PS The Habit is way better anyway.
6) When you have your second tantrum within five minutes of the previous one, just go to bed.
So... these seem really simple, but when you have four children and one of them is constantly crying, it is really sad. Once she went to bed at 4:30 pm and it was the nicest evening we have had in a very long time. I feel bad saying that but it is true.
I know she has always been emotional but I so rarely get to see her joyful little smile these days, it makes me extremely sad. Any advice is appreciated. If you saw how sad she was all the time it would tear at your little heartstrings. Remember how cute her happy face and her crocodile tears for the saddy from this post? Cry for me, Argentina.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Calling all Travelers
Once I was at church and a woman asked if my husband could teach a class entitled "How to get your husband to let you go to Europe every year."
His response: Every once in a while your wife will express her dissatisfaction at life and as a man you can't help but feel like it is all your fault. So I like to be proactive and prevent these little discussions by encouraging her to go to Europe. (I am sure this is misquoted so he can correct it in the comments section if he cares.)
I did go to Europe every year for about 6 years in a row--I took three groups of high schools students, I went with my mother and cousin the year my mom died, and the year after she died I went with a friend. After I was no longer a teacher with the "free" trips (though I didn't pay money for the trips I paid for it in many, many other ways, more on that later) we moved down to SB and Steve and went together on our first true vacation for 10 days in which he presented and we did a geeky self-guided religious history tour together.
So as it has been a couple of years and my youngest is almost a year and a half, it must be time for me to go to Europe again.
Since I travel a lot of work already it is with some trepidation that I begin planning it. I have some guilt over leaving my family and I would love to take some of the kids--but alas we cannot afford it so I have to go alone.
By alone, of course, I mean with you.
So anyone who is interested in coming along for the ride, I am going to go to Europe.
I am thinking of going May 9-17th or so and I want to go to Barcelona, southern France, and hopefully N. Italy.
I love Paris of course and would be open if you would prefer to do the Paris-Barcelona trip with a visita in Southern France, but sometimes I think it would just be more relaxing to stay where the produce and lavande is most plentiful and skip the city life.
So who can go on this trip? Anyone. Anyone who agrees to the following rules:
1) Flexibility--if we plan to go to Giverny and then we decide to spend an extra day at the Louvre instead of driving, then ok. I am not a packed itinerary kind of girl so you gotta know that.
2) Hunger pains--when we get hungry, we eat. We don't wander around aimlessly searching for the Holy Grail of restaurants. If we do want to find the perfect place, then we plan ahead so we are not wandering the streets with low blood sugar. If the only place open is a bar with some nasty day-old tortillas or stale bread, then we eat there and we do it with a smile.
3) Getting lost--is part of the fun! So when we are lost, there is no reason to get upset or angry at the person who is navigating, we just roll with it baby. Besides, if we are flexible, we won't be running late anywhere.
4) Parler la langue--you have to at least TRY to speak the language wherever we are. When we order in a restaurant, even if you are butchering the native tongue, you gotta give it a whirl. You can bring your little teeny larousse if you need support, or maybe your phone has an app for that, but you gotta at least give the impression you are trying. No ugly american, k? Along those same lines, no getting embarrassed if I try to chat up the taxi driver about immigration.
5) Cheapness--we will try to do everything on the lower end but I am not staying in a hotel with a Turkish loo. So just like with the restaurants, we are not going to search for the Holy Grail of cheap hotels. Nothing fancy schmancy, but no seedy bed bugs and we are not walking all day and night to find the exact right place.
6) All for one--but not one for all. If someone wants to go shopping all day (not something I want to do), they can break off in a separate team. We don't have to all do the same thing at the same time, it is okay to be unique.
7) Sewing wild oats--is something you gotta do on your own time. If we are in a group and you want to hit on the waiter, fine, but don't invite him back to the hotel room. I got other stuff to do.
8) Missing home--it is okay to miss your family but no crying or stressing out that your husband has lost the kids. It happens to me all the time and we are just fine.
9) You gotta be a woman. Sorry, no men allowed unless you come with your spouse and want to pay for your own hotel rooms, etc.
Any questions?
His response: Every once in a while your wife will express her dissatisfaction at life and as a man you can't help but feel like it is all your fault. So I like to be proactive and prevent these little discussions by encouraging her to go to Europe. (I am sure this is misquoted so he can correct it in the comments section if he cares.)
I did go to Europe every year for about 6 years in a row--I took three groups of high schools students, I went with my mother and cousin the year my mom died, and the year after she died I went with a friend. After I was no longer a teacher with the "free" trips (though I didn't pay money for the trips I paid for it in many, many other ways, more on that later) we moved down to SB and Steve and went together on our first true vacation for 10 days in which he presented and we did a geeky self-guided religious history tour together.
So as it has been a couple of years and my youngest is almost a year and a half, it must be time for me to go to Europe again.
Since I travel a lot of work already it is with some trepidation that I begin planning it. I have some guilt over leaving my family and I would love to take some of the kids--but alas we cannot afford it so I have to go alone.
By alone, of course, I mean with you.
So anyone who is interested in coming along for the ride, I am going to go to Europe.
I am thinking of going May 9-17th or so and I want to go to Barcelona, southern France, and hopefully N. Italy.
I love Paris of course and would be open if you would prefer to do the Paris-Barcelona trip with a visita in Southern France, but sometimes I think it would just be more relaxing to stay where the produce and lavande is most plentiful and skip the city life.
So who can go on this trip? Anyone. Anyone who agrees to the following rules:
1) Flexibility--if we plan to go to Giverny and then we decide to spend an extra day at the Louvre instead of driving, then ok. I am not a packed itinerary kind of girl so you gotta know that.
2) Hunger pains--when we get hungry, we eat. We don't wander around aimlessly searching for the Holy Grail of restaurants. If we do want to find the perfect place, then we plan ahead so we are not wandering the streets with low blood sugar. If the only place open is a bar with some nasty day-old tortillas or stale bread, then we eat there and we do it with a smile.
3) Getting lost--is part of the fun! So when we are lost, there is no reason to get upset or angry at the person who is navigating, we just roll with it baby. Besides, if we are flexible, we won't be running late anywhere.
4) Parler la langue--you have to at least TRY to speak the language wherever we are. When we order in a restaurant, even if you are butchering the native tongue, you gotta give it a whirl. You can bring your little teeny larousse if you need support, or maybe your phone has an app for that, but you gotta at least give the impression you are trying. No ugly american, k? Along those same lines, no getting embarrassed if I try to chat up the taxi driver about immigration.
5) Cheapness--we will try to do everything on the lower end but I am not staying in a hotel with a Turkish loo. So just like with the restaurants, we are not going to search for the Holy Grail of cheap hotels. Nothing fancy schmancy, but no seedy bed bugs and we are not walking all day and night to find the exact right place.
6) All for one--but not one for all. If someone wants to go shopping all day (not something I want to do), they can break off in a separate team. We don't have to all do the same thing at the same time, it is okay to be unique.
7) Sewing wild oats--is something you gotta do on your own time. If we are in a group and you want to hit on the waiter, fine, but don't invite him back to the hotel room. I got other stuff to do.
8) Missing home--it is okay to miss your family but no crying or stressing out that your husband has lost the kids. It happens to me all the time and we are just fine.
9) You gotta be a woman. Sorry, no men allowed unless you come with your spouse and want to pay for your own hotel rooms, etc.
Any questions?
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Artiste
Steve and I were discussing how much digital photography has changed the photo industry--like everything else, technology has made luxury more accessible to the common man. Friends can now take photos at a fraction of the cost of a professional photographer and in many cases free.
So when do you hire a photographer? You pay for positioning of people--that is hard to do if you are not professional. You also pay for lighting and fancy lenses that you probably don't have at home and in the case of really top photographers, you get a subtle clarity that comes from a skill in photoshop. Now, more than ever, the skill of photoshop can go way beyond the simply fixing of a blemish or adjusting lighting but to creating a whole new artsy effect with a palette that is beyond what ever once was.
I feel so blessed to have in my plumage of life some gorgeous feathers that are talented photographers and artists. I have featured pictures from several of these friends here, most recently Vivian, and Chellese whose pictures adorn my header. Emily took pictures of our family for last year's Christmas Card and the family pictures still on the wall in are home were taken by Tara many moons ago (she doesn't have a photography blog but should).
In additional to photographers, I also have a handful of artists who I know and love--one of these is my beautiful friend Asha who doesn't even read this blog. She took pictures of Meg when she was a few months old, maybe you remember the yummy pictures of her in pink that she took on the fly in her living room.
I am dedicating this post to her new website because I am inspired by the work she does. Her husband studies sacred spaces--the buildings in India in particular and if you read through the intro on her website you can find out her story and how she came into her ideas. If you know of any local yogis or ladies gyms who might be interested, she would be perfect for that--or for your own living room. I might request something for my birthday since she is probably open at 11 pm the night before (ahem, Steve) She is reliable, professional, and has a genuinely good heart. I am leaving the link up on my blog if you need it later down the road.
So when do you hire a photographer? You pay for positioning of people--that is hard to do if you are not professional. You also pay for lighting and fancy lenses that you probably don't have at home and in the case of really top photographers, you get a subtle clarity that comes from a skill in photoshop. Now, more than ever, the skill of photoshop can go way beyond the simply fixing of a blemish or adjusting lighting but to creating a whole new artsy effect with a palette that is beyond what ever once was.
I feel so blessed to have in my plumage of life some gorgeous feathers that are talented photographers and artists. I have featured pictures from several of these friends here, most recently Vivian, and Chellese whose pictures adorn my header. Emily took pictures of our family for last year's Christmas Card and the family pictures still on the wall in are home were taken by Tara many moons ago (she doesn't have a photography blog but should).
In additional to photographers, I also have a handful of artists who I know and love--one of these is my beautiful friend Asha who doesn't even read this blog. She took pictures of Meg when she was a few months old, maybe you remember the yummy pictures of her in pink that she took on the fly in her living room.
I am dedicating this post to her new website because I am inspired by the work she does. Her husband studies sacred spaces--the buildings in India in particular and if you read through the intro on her website you can find out her story and how she came into her ideas. If you know of any local yogis or ladies gyms who might be interested, she would be perfect for that--or for your own living room. I might request something for my birthday since she is probably open at 11 pm the night before (ahem, Steve) She is reliable, professional, and has a genuinely good heart. I am leaving the link up on my blog if you need it later down the road.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Ode to Markie
Oh the woes of holidays....
Let me break this down for you if I can:
Many couples fight about money and... other things. Not us, folks, we fight over friends. When we travel we are constantly at odds over who we will see and for how long. We have long ago learned that we run out of time when we go to Utah to try to see friends from Christmas past, present, and future and we miss someone that we care about so we have had to come to terms with the fact that either we fight or we plan out in advance who we are going to see. I have the philosophy that we should see a lot of people, one time. Steve has the philosophy that we see a few people for longer. Both arguments have merit.
So we compromise and we do this by me seeing people alone that are the shorter visits--so I usually go see the at-home moms during the day and then at night we do our longer visits. I don't like it and neither does he but it keeps the flame alive.
This last trip we saw the following people for longer:
Mark and Angela
Family
We saw the following during daytime short visits
Chellese
Wendy
Helen
One night out with my mission friends
Sunday evening visit with my family
We have known all of these people for 5 years or more and there are about ten other people we did not see, some of them people we have known for almost 10 years.
So while it seems like we are always in Utah, the truth is, we rarely get to see new people or even all the people we love and care about. To add anyone else simply complicates matters--I had two people who I really wanted to see over Christmas who I missed just because of time and it broke my heart that it never worked out. Not to mention my beloved Katie who although she lives here will be moving soon and who knows when I will get to hang out with her again. Hopefully tomorrow.
To be fair, I did have every intention of stopping by the Crabtree during the summer but our plans got messed up when I had to do an emergency work trip out to Napa (which also stole three days out of the landerson-fleming family trip and swiped New Mexico clean off our slate in which we had three friends who we didn't get to see either).
I hope that my little plea explains the sad reasons why I neglect to see my favorite WD supporter and if you are ever in SB, by all means, come by the house and we will cook you up a meal you will never forget. Or you can snub us and I will understand the justification.
And if you are wondering about why Jespy got a visit, she has gone one major advantage: location, location, location. And the truth is, we have some friends we usually stay with in Vegas who were busy with relatives during this last trip so my kids were asking how we can see both the old friends and the new friends next time. I know, I know.
Let me break this down for you if I can:
Many couples fight about money and... other things. Not us, folks, we fight over friends. When we travel we are constantly at odds over who we will see and for how long. We have long ago learned that we run out of time when we go to Utah to try to see friends from Christmas past, present, and future and we miss someone that we care about so we have had to come to terms with the fact that either we fight or we plan out in advance who we are going to see. I have the philosophy that we should see a lot of people, one time. Steve has the philosophy that we see a few people for longer. Both arguments have merit.
So we compromise and we do this by me seeing people alone that are the shorter visits--so I usually go see the at-home moms during the day and then at night we do our longer visits. I don't like it and neither does he but it keeps the flame alive.
This last trip we saw the following people for longer:
Mark and Angela
Family
We saw the following during daytime short visits
Chellese
Wendy
Helen
One night out with my mission friends
Sunday evening visit with my family
We have known all of these people for 5 years or more and there are about ten other people we did not see, some of them people we have known for almost 10 years.
So while it seems like we are always in Utah, the truth is, we rarely get to see new people or even all the people we love and care about. To add anyone else simply complicates matters--I had two people who I really wanted to see over Christmas who I missed just because of time and it broke my heart that it never worked out. Not to mention my beloved Katie who although she lives here will be moving soon and who knows when I will get to hang out with her again. Hopefully tomorrow.
To be fair, I did have every intention of stopping by the Crabtree during the summer but our plans got messed up when I had to do an emergency work trip out to Napa (which also stole three days out of the landerson-fleming family trip and swiped New Mexico clean off our slate in which we had three friends who we didn't get to see either).
I hope that my little plea explains the sad reasons why I neglect to see my favorite WD supporter and if you are ever in SB, by all means, come by the house and we will cook you up a meal you will never forget. Or you can snub us and I will understand the justification.
And if you are wondering about why Jespy got a visit, she has gone one major advantage: location, location, location. And the truth is, we have some friends we usually stay with in Vegas who were busy with relatives during this last trip so my kids were asking how we can see both the old friends and the new friends next time. I know, I know.
Halfway House
So I have a bunch of other fun stuff I need to update here but I have to give a special thanks to Jespy for hosting us on our way home from Utahr.
First of all, what kind of person knocks on your door and says "Hi I don't know you but we have blogged together and I know your cousin-in-law. Can I come in, stay the night, eat your food and btw can you cut my son's hair?"
Someone very nervy. But she complied anyway, risking the potential diseases we could have brought (hey, we are like five minutes away but Meghan threw up in the car, are you cool with that?)
So here she is cutting Casey's hair:
Thanks for that. He was looking mighty shaggy dog.
And as a side note, I didn't get a pic of the three Epsy boys together, but they were SO friendly. They were all bff with each other which I thought was so nice. My kids do not have that kind of fraternity and I hope they were inspired by the example.
While the two older boys enraptured Casey with some Xboxing, Homer and Gillian played nice. Picture this little dialogue as you look at the adorable face of little Homer.
Cord (explaining to Steve): See, our names are really easy to say, they all have one syllable. Cord. Gus. Homer.
Steve: ?
Cord: Whoops, Homer is two.
Homer: I am four!
Very cute.
We loved the decor in the house because there were all these cool literary references. Like the Iliad in Homer's room, how very appropriate. I particularly liked the following reference which I had to ask about.
First of all, what kind of person knocks on your door and says "Hi I don't know you but we have blogged together and I know your cousin-in-law. Can I come in, stay the night, eat your food and btw can you cut my son's hair?"
Someone very nervy. But she complied anyway, risking the potential diseases we could have brought (hey, we are like five minutes away but Meghan threw up in the car, are you cool with that?)
So here she is cutting Casey's hair:
Thanks for that. He was looking mighty shaggy dog.
And as a side note, I didn't get a pic of the three Epsy boys together, but they were SO friendly. They were all bff with each other which I thought was so nice. My kids do not have that kind of fraternity and I hope they were inspired by the example.
While the two older boys enraptured Casey with some Xboxing, Homer and Gillian played nice. Picture this little dialogue as you look at the adorable face of little Homer.
Cord (explaining to Steve): See, our names are really easy to say, they all have one syllable. Cord. Gus. Homer.
Steve: ?
Cord: Whoops, Homer is two.
Homer: I am four!
Very cute.
Lastly, I was surprised that Tespy was so welcoming too. He took it as a matter of stride that his wife takes in strays and entertained us with great conversation and friendship. Gracias a los dos!
So... unfortunately for them, we had such a good time we hope to make it a regular event. Thanks Jespy for being my IRL friend too.
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