So after the fiasco with trying to balance authority vs. loving relationships, I had another opportunity to teach my kids the wrong thing tonight. I have many of these such moments, much like emmy's bad advice and tiffy's fake housekeeping tips, in which I could do a regular column.
Scenario: Mom asks child #1 to do homework for 14th time:
Child #1: No one likes me! (runs to room crying)
Mom: What! Are you kidding?
#1: I don't think you like me or anyone. Everyone at school makes fun of me.
Mom: About what?
#1: The way I talk.
Mom: How do you talk?
#1: They say it sounds like when you plug your nose (demonstrates this)
Mom (crying inside): I am about to say something really mean here, but most of those kids are dumb. You know how I know? When they made those thank you cards for when I did the bread demo, their spelling and grammar was bad, I mean REALLY bad. The problem is you are smart-- people make fun of the smart people, did you know that? They can't think of anything else so they make fun of the way you talk. Who is doing this, Osvaldo?
#1: No, he makes fun of my name.
Mom: Um, what? A kid named after a murderer is making fun of your name? Did you know a guy named OSWALD shot a president? Yeah, no kidding. And he is making fun of your COOL name that used to be mine? Now that is funny (laughing uncontrollably)
#1: (laughing now) well he doesn't know that.
Mom: Well yeah, but still, Oswald. Think about that next time he says "Que sí" and look at him with pride and say "que sí" because that is what I did my whole mission when people said "hermana queso" or "hermana que sí" Also sometimes people called me "hermana pirata" because I wore a head bandanna... (rambling on a bit more and then some more inspirational stuff about oldest child, cool older brother, etc.)
In retrospect I think I was a really bad example on how to deal with mean kids. I think I might even have said something about the kids changing his oil or driving a bus when he is successful because he is smarter than them but I hope I just imagined that.
cried
ReplyDeletelaughed
cried
laughed
Seriously, though, that is exactly what I would have done too. It's funny because Darin and I argue about saying "stupid." I've been trying to teach H1 & H2 not to say it. But their Dad says it and H1 always points it out. I try to tell D to knock it off. His rebuttle, "there are stupid people out there and that is what I will call them." Ugh. What to do?
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I am crying inside too. I can't stand the idea that that will someday happen to my kids too. Tear.
shiz, I spelled rebuttal wrong. Who's calling who stupid?
ReplyDeleteMemzy does give bad advice but my housekeeping skillz are for realz!
ReplyDeleteAnd Chellese... I think you mean "WHOSE".... fer duh! Wait...
Poor Que Si. I do that too, btw. There are a couple of lame neighborhood kids who threaten to go home if they don't get their way and I'm always like "Then tell them to go home. They are cry babies anyway" and then maybe something about how they are probably acting that way cuz their dad left their mom for another woman or something....
jay kay.
If you're only on mistake #2 at this point in your parenting career, you're doing pretty good!
ReplyDeleteI think you've been skimming my posts because as you can clearly read, I give GOOD advice. Geez!
ReplyDeleteAnd I've completely done this before. Brains was told by his friends that it's not possible to be cool and get a 4.0 (which his him). And my response was something like, "They'll be eating their words when you are the CEO of a major corporation some day and they are still working at McDonalds."
I'm a "why can't we all be friends" kind of mom, which probably drives my kids crazy. When they tell me someone is picking on them, I tell them that the poor boy/girl is probably being abused at home by an alcoholic father/mother, and that they should try befriending him/her.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry. Casey's such a sweet kid, he's gonna sift through the rougher comments ("changing his oil"-- you're too funny!) to find the meat of your message.
ReplyDelete