We have people for dinner on Sundays again. I took a hiatus but now that church is late it works better for our schedule.
Anyway, prompted by my friend Katie, I have been thinking about behavior when you host dinner. How do you know if your guests liked your meal?
If someone says "this is amazing, I want the recipe!" they could be lying.
If they eat a small portion and don't comment on it, does that automatically mean they don't like it?
What if they don't say anything about it but have a healthy second serving?
Do the missionaries always say the food is good?
Do you invite someone to come back if they didn't like the food? Will they come?
Do some people come for the company, not the food?
Is my taste the same as other people?
So how do you know if you were successful? THIS is the real question I want you to answer.
My version of success is that you even invited someone in the FIRST PLACE.
ReplyDeleteOkay, but you first. You said you enjoyed the penne, but all I could think was, SERIOUSLY???
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. Those are a lot of questions. In order to be completely accurate, I think I will first need to come over for dinner for research purposes.
ReplyDeleteI once made a potato soup for a lady who had just had a baby. I didn't taste the soup until after her portion had been delivered. It was TERRIBLE. I had burned it and not realized. When she returned the dishes there was a thank you card attached that said it was delicious and she had to have the recipe. I called her and told her she was a liar, I had tasted that soup and it was inedible. She admitted it was bad, but just wanted to be nice. I now don't trust anyone but myself. If I think it was good, that's all I need.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that when I get invited over to a home for dinner, I go for the company and not for the food. Admittedly, I can't even remember what we had for dinner the times you had us over. I was just grateful for good company and that's the truth! Now as a missionary, didn't you know it was a rule that you have to say everything is good? It is one of those unwritten rules in the white handbook! :P
ReplyDeleteI had some friends over for "Soup night" last Monday and I made 2 big pots full of soup. One person brought a salad, one brought some rolls, and one (trying to be nice and contribute) brought some pasta. It was very apparent that the main course was soup but by the time the night was over the bread, pasta, and salad was gone and I was the only one that ate any of the soup! What does that mean? One of my friends, trying to be nice, took some home with her and later said she thought the soup was good but really? Come on! I've analyzed it to death but I just have no idea how to answer your questions (they are frequently asked in my head too after I have people over for dinner!)
ReplyDeleteOh and Yes...it's an unwritten rule that missionaries MUST eat whatever they are given and say it's delicious! I went to Indonesia of all places and ate things like dog, bat, cobra, and many other crazy things all of which were spicy and hot and I had to grin and bare it and I LOVED it! he he he!!
ReplyDeleteI love eating other people's food. For some reason it seem like we have the same 10 things over and over, and it is nice to have even a different version of the same meal. I do also know that I have lied about liking something, and was once forced to eat raw bacon in soup...that memory will stick with me forever. Might I add, hand slaughtered bacon.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty excited that Hot Pants actually called the new mom a liar. I admire that in a person. Though I do believe the TY note was still required. You can say "the dish was very thoughtful and I appreciate your efforts" rather than "it was delicious and I want the recipe". Rookie mistake.
ReplyDeleteOne time I served the missionaries lentil enchiladas (this was as a VERY new member so they doubly had to be nice). I told them to start while I poured juice. Then I had some. Then I spit it out in my sink. Then the elders did too. They were very, very, very spicy. We ate lots of salad.
I think the key in this situation is to be honest when asked and provide a follow up compliment. Do not ask for a recipe unless you actually like it. No matter how terrible food is, I am always glad for the company. Emphasize that, if you can say nothing else, but don't lie. (Lee I like the foods you cook and I find your kids excellent dinner companions.)
As for when I cook for others, I try never to ask if they like it. It seems like fishing for compliments, or, getting an answer I don't want to hear anyways.
p.s. I now have tried 2 Indian dishes to some success (well, Andrew likes them anyways) so let me know when you are free and we can make it together, per your request.
I'd say a successful dinner party (although that term is a bit strong) is when you close the door behind the people and think "Wow... that was really fun."
ReplyDeleteI try not to analyze how much people ate and dissect every compliment or lack of compliments they gave.
I did once make the worsts pork chops on earth for the missionaires and I told them they were terrible as we were all eating them. I couldn't even finish half of mine. Like good little troopers they ate them & even had seconds. I think missionaries are blessed in that regard. Iron stomachs and dead taste buds.
What an interesting and thought-provoking post. (like many of yours). It's hard for me to not conceive that other people are not as interested in food as I am, so if they aren't talking about it and gobbling it, I think they didn't like it. However, I have a sister who just isn't interested in food in general, whereas my mother and I remember events by the food that was there: "My birthday party from 1984? Oh that was when we had the pistachio pudding dessert...."
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your cooking is marvelous and I'm almost positive it's better than anything the elders are making on their own. They probably have a lot of DAs in your area though, you might be up against some stiff competition. I'm sure whatever you made was wonderful though, you are a great cook and it's been far too long since you've had me over.
But I think "Landee" was right: a successful dinner party is measured by the amount of fun you had, making it worth all the work it really is.
I've never had people for dinner, and no one has ever had me for dinner. I wanna make a cannibal joke right here, but more so, I wanna know what makes a person NOT have a perfectly nice person for dinner. Is it my pickiness? Or do I need to give in order to recieve?
ReplyDeleteI think I often forget to say the right things to the host because I'm distracted by not drooling on myself or making sure my husband doesn't say something inappropriate or whatever. I think you should assume that everyone loves your food and your company. And the best measure of success is if everyone feels relaxed and happy after the meal as they linger around the table.
ReplyDelete