Her class is about gender issues and she wanted to know how I felt about being a woman. I think I was the white, married, kids, college degree demographic. She asked me 4 questions and because I enjoyed sharing with her and want to capture it somewhere, I am going to share here and I invite anyone to post a comment adding their own thoughts.
1. What does it mean to you to be a woman?
At various phases in my life it has meant different things but right now it is inseparable from the word mother. I am not just talking about my children but I am talking about the motherly duties I perform in my job, my community, and in my home. I multitask and pay attention to details to help my co-workers, I problem-solve to help my schools, I give warnings to my teachers and parents about a potentially dangerous pathway, and I have a natural inclination to be nurturing towards those children around me who are not my own in addition to the four cute ones floating around my household.
2. What should all girls be taught about being a woman?
This might sound cheesy, but I think it is to trust their inner voice. I look at my 8 year old and her confidence and total matter-of-factness and I know that one day she will question that. I think that she needs to know that when the going gets tough, the tough stand tall and know that ultimately the decisions that they make are good and sound in spite of what others might tell you.
3. What is the worst thing that has happened to you specifically because you are a woman?
Fortunately I cannot point to any terrible things that have happened to me in my life specifically because of my gender. I will say that the worst things that have happened in that arena have been centered around negative body image. I still fight that issue today but since I value many other things about myself I have tried to let that one go. I wish I would have found other value in myself at a younger age to avoid some irrational decisions.
4. What is the best thing that has happened to you due to your gender?
My immediate thought was children, but my husband loves my kids and he didn't give birth to them. I am not going to lie and say that pregnancy was the greatest thing that happened to me or that I love giving birth, so making the assumption that dads love children as much as the mom, I am going to go with something else: female friendships. I just don't see that men are able to make bonds with other men in the way that I am with my friends. I feel that the level of intimacy that women reach with each other is simply not available to most men and I just cannot imagine my life without the friendships that I have.
After this little interview, this was reiterated at playgroup yesterday. I saw some women that I just really love and it reiterated that my friendships with women truly are a great gift and blessing. To all my women friends, thank you for enriching my life and making it possible for me to enjoy the shared challenges we all have.
Back atcha, buddy! Also, nice monogram.
ReplyDeletePersonally I like having boobies. Kidding!! Srsly tho, even with all the challenges of being a woman, I'd never want to be a man. I'll keep my own challenges thank you.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a small kid I remember feeling bad for boys. They just don't have as many outfit/accessories/make-up/hair choices. Vive la femme!
ReplyDeleteThis is your fourth best post of the year (see also "Belated Mother's Day," "Happy 33/11," and "Family, Or What I Missed Out On My Whole Life").
ReplyDeleteAlso, Memzy makes me laugh.
Again, I was so happy to see you at playgroup. Please come back often, k?
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for the male gender now, poor things.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was little, I was terrified about the giving birth to babies thing, and I could only take solace in the fact that at least I would never be drafted into a war, like my dad. But then they got rid of the draft. No fair!
Good for you, I think those things are great. I have to disagree about male friendships-only because I'm amazed at the incredible connection between Taylor and his best friend (as well as other boys and men I know)even to where I have seen them shed tears together. However, I'm glad you are able to experience such friendships. Even though your hubby loves your kids as much as you, I'm sure your children recognize a difference between you as their mother and him as their father- he can't replace that!
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