With Freighbor and some other Neighbors gone, I have to make new friends.
I don't want to do this, I really don't. But my hand was forced.
Today at the complex park there were three women that I had to befriend and it looks promising. I was thinking how lucky I am to live in a place where I can just think "I need a new friend" and one will magically appear. When making new friends it is a challenge for me because I always replay all the stupido stuff I say and wonder if anyone will like me. I forget I need to turn the filter on when meeting new people and not say stuff like this:
"I read mainly adolescent fiction. You know, it is safe. There is nothing that annoys me more than sitting on an airplane and I turn the page to find a paragraph that contains a sentence about a 'sliding hand."
What prompted me to say this? I don't need to use this as an introductory pick-up line for new friends. What if one of them likes this kind of stuff? Or what if one of them is offended by my reference?
They kind of laughed, but it might have been out of embarrassment. Next time I see one of them I hope they forget what I said and only remember that I was the one who introduced them to HG/CF.
Freighbor come back.
You've got nothing to worry about. Your new friends will love you and cry on the day that you move away.
ReplyDeleteIt's literally UNpossible for you to be anyone but YOU, Flem. That's why everyone lives you so much.
ReplyDeleteClicky email thingy
ReplyDeleteJust whip them up a little somethin amazing like you do so well and they will forget all about it, I promise.
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious. But next time don't bother - I am too hard an act to follow.
ReplyDeleteBesides, the unmarked fence is always open.
Are you kidding? That's laugh out loud funny! Only a loser wouldn't want to be your friend with straight up comments like that.
ReplyDeleteFYI, it will be much harder to make friends when you leave "The Complex." Trust me on this one. First of all, not all people you meet at the park will actually be parents; they could be nannies, and generally snooty nannies. Next, I'm going to guess that many other non-Complex moms will be so overwhelmed at four kids that they will stop breathing and miss any comments you make about fiction because they are about to pass out. And finally, you might have to live in a place where parents only let their kids leave the house for 6 months of the year.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Maybe you should move here. I know a nice lady that takes her (own) kid to the park year round and could use a buddy.